Lieutenant Jackson
by This Is The End's Beginning
Summary: Private Daniel Jackson has left to fight in World War II. He left behind a mother, a sister, and, most importantly, a wife. This is part of her story as she enlists in the U.S. Army as a nurse. She is one of five female nurses given special permission to go behind enemy lines to provide medical treatment to injured Allied paratroopers during Operation Overlord.
1. Chapter 1

I sit at the desk, pencil in hand, staring at the sheet of paper. I put the date in the top right corner and the only thing I have written besides that is, 'Dear Daniel'. I have absolutely no idea what to write. How am I supposed to tell him about what has happened this last week?

I close my eyes, trying to stop the tears from coming to my eyes, and try to think of happier times. The first day I met him when we were just kids, our first kiss, him holding me close as the police arrested my father, sending him to prison hopefully for life. The day I moved in with him and his family who treated me more like family than my own ever did, how he would always hold me and murmur soothing things whenever I would wake up from yet another nightmare.

The day he proposed, our wedding day, moving into our new house, the last day we had together even if that did have a twinge of sadness because he was shipping out to basic training after getting drafted. Then two months later I suspected I was pregnant, especially after missing my period both months. I didn't tell Daniel this in my letters, not wanting him to get excited if I was wrong. I went to the doctor's and two weeks later he confirmed I was pregnant, and with the bloating, nausea, fatigue, and slight weight gain, I agreed with him. However, before I could write to Daniel, to tell him, his little sister, Alice, fell sick, and so did I.

A week later, after we had mostly recovered, I had been outside with Alice and her mother, Ruth, when I started to get a cramp in my abdomen that quickly became very painful. Ruth noticed my pain and helped me inside, where she noticed I had a slight fever, and we soon discovered blood in my underwear. Ruth, having had a miscarriage before, knew immediately what was possibly happening, and took me to the doctor. A week later he informed me that I was no longer pregnant. I cried for a week afterward; I had lost Daniel and I's baby.

So here I am now, trying to write a letter to my husband, knowing that it will kill him to find out what has happened. He's off fighting a war, his friends and fellow soldiers dying, constantly under the threat of joining them, how am I supposed to give him this news?

I exhale slowly before scribbling down a few lines. They basically tell him of how Alice and I were sick, but are alright, and how everyone is doing okay, we're just missing him. I cringe as I reread it, knowing that he's going to realize something is off; the letter sounds nothing like my usual ones. Hopefully he'll just chalk it up to me still feeling sick.

I put the pencil down and fold the letter. He's gone, I lost our baby, and now I'm lying to him about it. I don't think I can do this; I can't stay here.

Two days later I go into Nashville and enlist in the United States Army Nurse Corps.


	2. Chapter 2

Nine Months Later

"Lieutenant!" I shout, "Give him a dose of morphine and close up that wound!"

Focusing on my own patient I dig shrapnel out of his shoulder before applying pressure and sulfa to stop the bleeding. I quickly sew up the gash and move onto another patient.

"Jackson! Lieutenant Jackson!" someone shouts and I stand up and turn around. There is Captain Elijah Dunne, carrying one end of a stretcher with a wounded man laying on it. I run over and direct them to a bed to the right.

"Forest! Priority patient!" I shout and she rushes over.

"How is it out there?" I ask Captain Dunne. I met him five months ago upon my arrival in Rome.

"We're advancing slowly but steadily, but it's still bad," he tells me.

I nod and look around. "I don't know where we're going to put them all."

"You'll figure it out, you always do," he says and someone shouts his name. "Alright, time to get back."

"Be careful," I say as he dashes out the door, giving me a small salute.

The groans and cries of the wounded fill my ears and I concentrate to block it out so I can do my job. As I do the familiar motions of cleaning out a wound and sewing it up, my mind wanders, to Alice, to Ruth, and to Daniel. My heart aches just thinking about him. We were inseparable when we were kids, always with each other, especially as our friendship turned into love. While I still write to him, every week, I never told him about the baby, or the miscarriage. I just couldn't, especially not through a piece of paper. He knew something was wrong, just like I thought he would, and tried to get me to tell him, but eventually as time passed he stopped trying to find out, knowing that I would tell him when I was ready. I still don't know if I ever will be.

One Month Later

I look around the courtyard of the French town of Fruelle. The church and square are filled with injured soldiers, although it's still at a manageable number. After all, D-Day was only two days ago, the fighting has barely begun. There are still too many injured soldiers for my tastes though.

With the coming of the invasion into Europe, everything changed, especially for me. I was pulled from where I was, to accompany a squad of soldiers with four other nurses to set up a field hospital for the Allies behind enemy lines. It was a very different and dangerous mission, which is why the women they chose to do it are all proficient with a weapon, just in case you may need to fire one.

When I asked the colonel who gave me these new orders why the military suddenly changed its mind about not putting women in potentially dangerous situations, this was the answer he gave me.

" _We are expecting high casualties, not just with the beach invasions but with the paratroopers that land behind enemy lines. We won't be able to get them proper care besides field medics until after we secure the beachhead and can start moving inland, which will take some time. We need a field hospital set up where they can get good treatment. We can't waste any of our field medics so the only option we are left with are our female nurses."_

The plane landing was quite bumpy, but no one was hurt, and with the help of the French Resistance, the small town fell quickly to us, although it did get a little messy.

" _What's the situation?" Captain Dunne asks and an interpreter translates it._

 _The person in charge of the Resistance answers back in English surprisingly and it appears that they have taken a large portion of the town, but not all of it._

" _Right then, time to take the rest," the Captain says. He orders the nurses to stay, each with our assigned private and an extra five men. The rest follow the Captain to take the rest of the town._

 _A few minutes later we hear gunfire and a few of the men with us start getting antsy, until one of the privates is suddenly shot in the head._

" _Get down!" someone yells and I do, kneeling on the stone street as some of the others more out in the open take cover behind a building. More gunshots ring out and the soldiers fire back on the Krauts coming down the street._

 _The window of a car suddenly shatters and a nurse that was taking cover with a soldier behind the car cries out in pain._

" _Shit!"_

 _The soldier pulls the nurse to the side as a private next to me falls to the ground dead. Acting on instinct, I crawl forward and snatch his gun, grabbing one of the nurses and running behind a low wall. I'm running so fast that when we reach the wall we hit it rather harshly, the shock of impact reverberating up my arm. I raise the gun to the proper position that Daniel taught me and fire. At first I don't hit the Kraut I was aiming at, but then I adjust my aim and he falls to the ground screaming in pain. I take out another Kraut before all goes quiet except for a few shots in the distance._

 _I breathe heavily, wondering if I killed those two Krauts seeing as how neither of them are moving, but then Daniel's voice enters my head: 'If it's between you and them, I'd rather have it be you'. They attacked us; they tried to kill us, knowing that they could be killed in the process. It was either them or us._

"You busy?" Captain Dunne asks. I'm currently stitching up a wound.

"No, not at all," I answer sarcastically and he cracks a smile.

"Well, I have a proposition for you," he says and I finish the suture.

I stand and look at him wearily. "I know that I've told you I'm married."

This gets him to full out laugh before he says, "No, I'm to take a squad to Neuville, to help the men there that are trying to hold the town. Our medic was killed in the skirmish earlier and we need a replacement."

He takes out a cigarette and lights it.

"And you want me to be that replacement?"

"Well, yeah," he says, "Why else would I here telling you this?"

I roll my eyes before pausing and asking, "When do we leave?"

He grins at me, "As soon as you get some gear, Long will help you with that."

I nod and move to find Long but Dunne suddenly says, "Jackson!"

I turn back to him as he throws something toward me, which I catch reflexively. It's a pistol.

"You have some skill with it and if you're truly going to be in the field I have a feeling you're going to need it," he says somewhat grimly.

I nod and turn the gun over in my hands, looking at it. "Thanks, I have a feeling I'll need it too."

"Right, just try not to get shot, okay? You're our medic, you're supposed to take care of us when we get hit, not the other way round," he says and I smile slightly at his tone and nod.

"Got it."

"Good. Long!" he shouts and Private Long dashes over to us.

"Help her get some gear together," Dunne orders.

"Yes sir."

"Ten minutes, meet up at the front gate, it's going to take a day or two to get to this town," Dunne says, "Hopefully we won't run into any Krauts on the way."

Did he really have to say that? Now it's almost certain that we will. Really Dunne?


	3. Chapter 3

" _I wish you didn't have to go," I say quietly, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind._

" _I know, I wish I didn't have to either," he says. He turns around and snakes his arms around my lower back, pulling me against him. "We're write, okay. It won't be the same, but it's something."_

 _I nod, tearing up a little but try not to, I don't want him to feel even worse than he already does._

" _Lilly, you know I love you," he whispers and I let out a laugh._

" _How could I not? You tell me every day," I say._

" _Just remember that, and remember that one day soon, I'll be coming home, coming back to you," he promises._

" _Don't make promises you can't make sure you can keep," I whisper and he doesn't say anything, knowing I'm right. He just kisses my temple and pulls me into a tight hug._

"Jackson?"

My head snaps to the right. "Yeah?"

"What's home for you?" Private Andrews asks.

An image of Daniel's face flashes in my mind, but I settle on the answer they're expecting; the name of a place. "West Forks, Tennessee."

"Family?"

"Define family," I say, my face turning hard when I think of my father.

Andrews exchanges a look with Long and says, "You know, mother, father, siblings…"

"Well my mom died when I was a baby, and my father is…" I wince, "out of the picture. I have a husband though; his family- his mother Ruth, and sister Alice, his father died a year ago- has been more of a family to me than my own has, and we consider each other family."

"A husband eh? What's his name?"

"Daniel Jackson, a private in the army, Second Rangers Battalion. We grew up together," I answer.

"And what does he think of you flying behind enemy lines and becoming a field medic?" Long asks.

"He doesn't know," I say, "Come on fellas, all our mail was censored when we were waiting for the invasion to start."

"Yeah, yeah, okay, so how do you think he'd react?" Andrews asks.

"I think he'd probably think I was crazy and be rather angry with me before it faded a few minutes later into pride and worry. He was the one who taught me how to fire a gun, and how to fight hand to hand, so I don't think he'd have a problem with me picking up a weapon," I say.

Before they can ask anything else, I ask, "And you? What is home for you?"

"Holbrook, Arizona. My ma and da are there, waiting for me to come back. I had a sweetheart, but she broke up with me a few months after I left," Andrews answers.

"Tough luck man," another private says, Henderson, I think.

"Yeah, I mean I join the army, go to fight in a war I may not survive in, and I get a letter that says 'sorry, can't do it anymore'. I mean she might've been called cold when I started dating her, but that was just cruel."

"Yeah, nothing worse than getting bad news from home when you have so much bad news here," Long adds.

My mind flits back to sitting at that table, debating whether or not I should've told Daniel about the baby, and how I lost it.

Dunne suddenly stops and holds up his hand. Everyone halts and immediately stops talking. There is the light sound of gunfire in the distance and Dunne waves us forward as we crest a hill. There, a little ways away, is Neuville, and it looks like the fighting there isn't over yet.

When we enter the town, we immediately run into American forces.

"Thunder!" one of them shouts.

"Flash!" Dunne yells back and they lower their guns. We run through the gate to where the other men are squatting on the ground behind a fractured wall of a building that's only half intact.

Captain Dunne kneels next to a soldier that waved him over; this must be the guy in charge or at least in charge in this section of the town anyway.

"You our relief?"

"Sort of, we had orders to come and help you, but we're only nine in number," Dunne informs him.

"Well, I guess some help is better than none," the soldier says and then points, "Private Fredrick, take them to Captain Hamill."

"Yes sir," Fredrick says and Dunne motions for Andrews and Henderson to stay here while the rest of us follow the private into a small building that's relatively intact considering how much damage has been done to this town.

"Captain Hamill sir," the private says. The captain looks up at us, taking us in.

"Captain Dunne, here to help as best we can," Dunne introduces himself.

"How many are you?" Captain Hamill asks.

"Nine," Dunne answers.

Captain Hamill nods before he sees me. It's still obvious under the standard army uniform I'm now wearing that I'm still a woman.

"And that is…?" Hamill asks.

Dunne looks at me and says, "Lieutenant Jackson sir, our field medic."

"I see, and by field medic you mean…?" he emphasizes the word field.

"Meaning she's already seen combat sir and preformed just as well as any man," Dunne says.

Hamill nods, "Okay then, why not? At the moment the streets are quiet, but it's bound to start up again within the hour."

"Sir, with your permission I would like to see your wounded, see if I could do anything for them," I ask politely.

"Granted, Private you take her," Hamill orders and the private gives the standard "yes, sir" before making for the door. Dunne gives me a nod which I return and I follow the private down the street to another abandoned building where about ten to fifteen men are. There are two medics here but they can only do so much. Hopefully a third one will help.

I turn to the private who lead me here and ask, "You got anywhere you need to be at this very moment?"

"No ma'am," he answers and I nod.

"Good, I could use your help here," I say and get to work on the most seriously wounded soldier I see.

After getting through the priority patients, gunfire is heard outside. It starts and stops, and Long runs into the room.

"We're moving," he says and I use a piece of fabric to wipe my hands clean somewhat before following his outside to the front line. It's darker out and I see it's about to rain; great, because this place wasn't desolate enough.

Dunne is kneeling with his men around him and when we approach he starts to talk. "Hamill needs us to check out a building in the south east corner of the inner part of the town. There's been some movement inside, not us. If possible we are to eliminate them, if not than collect intelligence and return to get a bigger strike force. Everyone got it?"

There's a chorus of 'yes, sir's and he starts giving out orders. "Stick together in pairs of two, Henderson with Shaw, Long with Jackson, Andrews with Wilson, and Myers with Owens."

Dunne found out a few days ago that Shaw and Myers hate pairing up with me, seeing me as someone they have to protect. Long however doesn't mind, and in fact since he saw me in action, has quite the opposite opinion than Shaw and Myer's.

"Okay, let's go," Dunne says and leads us down a street as raindrops start coming down.


	4. Chapter 4

We carefully move through the town, following Dunne's directions seeing as how only he was told how to get where we're going. Ten minutes later we're here at the back of the building. The rain isn't very heavy yet and we can hear the faint click of weapons being loaded, along with the floorboards upstairs.

"Alright, we got Krauts upstairs and downstairs. We need to know how many," Dunne says, looking around the building.

"Sir, if I could make a suggestion?" I ask.

"Sure Jackson," he says, focusing on me.

"From this position we have complete defilade from any possible windows snipers could be in, and we would still be covered if we were to have someone climb the building and try to get a look into the window," I say.

Dunne thinks it over before looking at the others. "Anyone got any other ideas?"

No one says anything. "Right then, who's going?"

"I will, I'm the lightest so it'll be easiest for me to climb," I volunteer.

Dunne looks at me, obviously reluctant before sighing and saying alright.

I put my gun around my neck and Long gives me a boost. I use the bricks to climb until I can just peer into the second story window. There are a bunch of men sitting around inside, weapons scattered on the table. Two of them walk around the table toward the door, the floor squeaking loudly under them.

I climb back down and tell them what I saw. "Six men, at least, two left and went down the stairs."

"Alright, so at least two downstairs, and four upstairs," Dunne says. "That's not too many, here's what we're going to do; Henderson and Andrews, you're going to enter through the back and go up the stairs. Try to see where the Krauts are up there. Shaw, Myers, and I'll go through the front door, while Long, Wilson, Jackson, and Owens go through the back. Henderson, Andrews, wait until you hear our gunfire before you take out the Krauts. Tread lightly and keep sharp, watch each other."

"Sir, I'd suggest sending me upstairs, with Myers. The floorboards are squeaky, they'd hear us coming us coming from a mile off, and we're the lightest," I say.

"I agree sir," Shaw says, surprising me slightly. "Sounds like the best plan."

"Fine, Jackson and Myers will go through the back and up the stairs. Henderson, Andrews, and I will go through the front. And Long, Wilson, and Owens will go through the back. Are we good now?" Dunne asks.

Everyone nods and Myers and I get ready. Captain Dunne gives us the signal and we quietly go inside, trying to be quick but silent. He goes up the steps first, his gun at the ready. He stops near the top and looks through the bars of the banister to the right before moving up the rest of the steps. I copy what he does, looking through the banister to see two Germans in a room through one of the doorways with their backs turned to us. We both stand in the hallway and I motion for him to take the room we've already had a glimpse of. I lightly tread to the next one and stop outside the doorway, my back pressed against the wall out of sight from the Germans. Myers does the same thing and we wait for the gunfire to start downstairs.

Myers and Jackson enter through the back and Long, Wilson, and Owens wait by the door. Dunne waves the others to follow him down the alley to the front of the building. Long stops at the corner of the building and peers around the edge. There's a flash of movement from around the other side of the building and his gets his captain's attention.

Dunne looks before calling out, "Thunder!"

"Flash!"

Dunne gives a sigh of relief and waves the soldiers over. They take up positions, scanning the area for any threats as they sprint over to the cover of the alley.

"Who are you guys? I didn't see any of you with Captain Hamill and his men," Dunne says.

"Staff Sergeant Hill, we're from the other side of the town. We're taking some men to see Captain Hamill," one of the men says.

"Captain Miller, Second Rangers Battalion. Can you take us to Captain Hamill?" another man asks.

"Sorry, we're kind of in the middle of something- wait, Second Rangers, you wouldn't happen to know a Private Jackson by any chance, would you?" Dunne asks.

"That's me sir, Private Jackson," a man toward the back of the group with a Springfield rifle says.

"Private Daniel Jackson, from West Forks, Tennessee, a sniper?" Dunne asks.

"Yes sir that's me. How did you know that exactly?" Jackson asks.

"I've been told a lot about you son, by someone that- by someone that is waiting for our signal," Dunne says, switching gears and focusing on the mission.

"Signal for what?" Captain Miller asks.

"There's a bunch of Krauts in that house," Dunne says, jerking his head to the right. "I already sent two of my men in to handle the Krauts on the second floor when we start shooting up the ones on the first floor."

"Want some help with that?" Miller asks.

"Why not? The more the merrier," Dunne says.

However, before they can move even an inch toward the house, gunfire erupts from inside it.

"Shit," Dunne curses.

Myers and I wait for our squad to give the signal when Myers shifts his weight and a floorboard under him squeaks, loudly. We both freeze as the Krauts in Myer's room say something in German and then shout something, grabbing their guns.

I rush into my room, using a knife to kill the closest Kraut, stabbing his neck. Guns go off in the next room, which attracts the attention of the other Kraut that was previously looking out the window. I raise my gun and fire, and he falls to the floor with multiple bullets in his body. I walk closer to see if he's really dead when footsteps from behind me make me spin around. A Kraut is in the doorway with his rifle raised. I throw myself to the left behind the table and fire back, clipping him in the arm. He curses and I get to my feet when the table suddenly moves and rams into me, making me stumble back into the wall. The Kraut runs toward me as I try to regain my balance and grabs my arm, dragging me to my feet. I knee him in the balls and he pushes me back into the window. But instead of just hitting it, I go right through it, falling backward and onto the roof of the porch. I tumble down it and roll off the end of the roof, my gun getting knocked from my hand. I land on a pile of rubble, and then the street as my momentum makes me roll right off the wreckage. Pain flares bright through my body, especially my right side and forehead, and I struggle to get to my knees. I crawl over behind the pile of rubble I landed on earlier, for cover just in case that Kraut tries to shoot me through the window I just broke.

Two Krauts then run out of the house, heading straight for where I'm hidden.

"Really?" I mutter exasperated.

I see a piece of wood that could make a decent makeshift weapon and as the first Kraut rounds the corner of the rubble, he sees me and tries to skid to a halt, but he's running too fast. I hit him in the shins with the piece of wood and he goes down. I then throw it at the second Kraut and he ducks to protect himself, giving me time to run up and tackle him. We land on the ground and I pull his knife out from his side holster and stab him in the side.

I stand quickly, knowing the other Kraut will be up by now, and freeze when I see the kraut pointing a gun at me, my gun that I lost earlier when I fell. A shot rings out and instead of me falling to the ground, the Kraut does. I sigh in relief before someone yells my name.

"Jackson!" Wilson shouts and rushes out of the house, grabbing my arm and pulling me back into the house. There are bodies of Krauts inside and I recognize only a few of the soldiers- the ones on my squad- but know that they're American by their uniforms. They've cleared the house and taken up positions by the windows and doors.

"Medic!" Wilson shouts, helping me to a chair as he presses his hand against my forehead which I realize is bleeding quite heavily, blood running from my forehead all the way down my jaw. A man rushes over, his helmet and arm band indicating him as a medic.

"You're a girl," one of the other men I don't recognize says shocked.

I look at him as the medic tries to stop the bleeding at my head. "Nice observation."

Dunne then comes down the stairs with Owens and Shaw. "Jackson, I got someone who wants to see you."

Another man comes running down the stairs behind them, practically pushing Shaw out of the way. I swear he's familiar, and when his helmet uncovers his face I feel like I can't breathe.

"Daniel," I gasp out in disbelief and his eyes find me immediately.

"Lilly," he says. All thoughts of why he's here, and how, and the chances of us actually meeting in this god awful war fly out of my head. I pull out of the medic's grasp and run toward him as fast as I can. He meets me halfway and I throw my arms around him. He wraps his arms around my waist and holds me I a bruising grip. I bury my face in his jacket and he moves a hand up my back, tangling his fingers in my hair. I realize now that the braid has come completely undone and my hair is hanging freely. He tugs on it and I pull my head back and he captures my lips in a kiss, one full of longing and need.

"So this is the Daniel she was telling us about huh?" Long says, which makes me remember that there are others present. I pull away from Daniel but he stubbornly keeps his arm around my waist- not that I'm complaining.

"Um, Jackson, mind explaining who the hell this is?" one of the men, from what I'm assuming is Daniel's squad, asks.

But Daniel doesn't answer him; instead he grabs my jaw and gently turns my face toward him. "Wade."

Daniel grabs my arm and pulls me toward the medic, who must be Wade. He forces me back into the chair and Wade tilts my head back. He instructs Daniel to put a hand over my eyes before he pours sulfa powder over the gash on my forehead- I'm grateful, that stuff burns when it gets in your eyes. Wade then presses a hand to the wound and tells Daniel that he can remove his hand. Daniel does, opting to grasp my hand instead. His grip is tight, almost crushing and I can only imagine what the hell must be running through his head. He just found his wife, in the middle of a war zone that technically she's not supposed to be in, and who just got beat up pretty badly, almost getting killed in the process. He would always go into protective mode whenever I got hurt, and it appears that hasn't changed in the year we've been apart.

"Before I start stitching this up, you want any morphine?" Wade asks.

"No," I answer.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I've had worse," I say and then flinch remembering just exactly why I've had worse injuries. Daniel's grip on my hand gets a little painful and I shake my hand a little and he lightens up on it.

"Lilly, what-how are you here?" he asks.

"I joined the army," I quip before saying, "Captain Dunne's field medic was killed and they needed a replacement, he asked and I said yes."

"You had to tell him that didn't you?" Dunne mutters and I smirk. I've told Dunne extensively about Daniel, and so he knows how overprotective he can get. I even told him about the baby; I was going to have a breakdown if I didn't tell anyone.

"So Jackson, you feel like telling us who this is now?" the man who asked earlier says, and I recognize he has a New York accent- I've met a few guys with the same one.

"This is Lilly Jackson, my wife," Daniel says.

"Wife?"

"Holy shit."

"You mean you were actually telling the truth?" I get confused at this statement but figure I can ask later.

"Two Jacksons, that'll get confusing."

As we've been talking, Wade was quickly stitching up my wound and a man then asks, "Wade, we need to move, we shouldn't stay here long."

"Just about finished sir," Wade says and ties off the stitches. "Ready."

"Okay, let's move out, Captain Dunne, if you could show us the way," the same man asks, and I see the bars on his helmet, indicating him as a captain.

Dunne nods as I stand up and Wade packs up his supplies. Long has my gear and Daniel takes it from him, helping me strap it back on before Andrews tosses me my gun.

"Didn't your ma even tell you not to throw weapons?" Shaw asks Andrews.

"Nope, in fact, she tossed them around all the time. How do you think my dad knew how to shoot?" Andrews says.

Jackson adjusts my jacket, his eyes scanning me for any more injuries.

"I'm fine," I say softly.

His eyes come up to meet mine, his face pained. "Just stay close to me, alright?"

I nod and grab the back of his jacket. "Won't even let go."

This gets him to smile slightly and he takes my other hand briefly and squeezes it before letting go as the door opens and our squads enter the street.


	5. Chapter 5

We exit the building and step into the rain; it's coming down much more than before. I have my gun tucked into my pants, and my left hand is grasping the back of Daniel's vest. He's tense, I can tell and wonder if he's always like this or it's just because I'm here now.

I copy what he does, kneeling when he does, running when he does, and getting up when he does.

"Alright, that's the end of the block, the gates are the end of the square," Sergeant Hill says to Daniel's commander.

Daniel moves forward and kneels again, and I do the same, one of my knees pressing lightly into his back.

"Reiben, where's the captain from?" one of Daniel's squad asks a man in front of him, who must be Reiben.

Daniel gets up and moves gracefully around them.

"You figure that out, you get yourself a nice prize," Reiben answers.

"Three hundred bucks last I heard," Daniel comments as we pass them.

I can't hear what they say next because of the rain. Daniel moves over to a brick wall and gets down again. I rest my left hand on it, shifting closer to him. He looks back briefly over his shoulder, an indescribable look in his eyes- which is saying something. I've known him for a good portion of my life, I've always been able to tell what he's thinking or feeling. Maybe it's because of where we are, or because I haven't seen him in such a long time, but a pang of sorrow hits my heart.

"Around this corner, there's a defilade right up to those gates," Dunne says.

We stay still as the others move around us and the man from earlier says something else. "Somebody must know where he's from, what he did for a living."

"I've been with him since Kasserine Pass, and I don't have a clue," another, older and heavier set man says.

Daniel gets up and moves forward slowly and I step in his footsteps. We move down the street, looking up at the buildings and windows, trying to spot any snipers or Krauts.

Staff Sergeant Hill is muttering to himself, something about how he's going to need a wheelchair. We step up onto a pile of rubble and it moves under my feet. I start to fall to the right but Daniel's arm shoots out and grabs my arm, tugging me back up.

He doesn't have to ask if I'm okay, I can see the question in his eyes. I smile and nod and he focuses back on scanning for any threats.

"Reiben, so you don't even know where he went to school?"

Doesn't this guy ever give up?

"Captain didn't go to school. They assembled him at OCS out of spare body parts and dead GIs," Reiben jokes, but sounds completely serious.

Another tall and brawny man comes up behind the guy asking questions. "You got to pay attention to detail; I know exactly where he's from and exactly what he did because I pay attention to detail."

Daniel reaches the pair and as we go around them he says, "Hey Upham, careful you don't step in the bullshit."

I laugh quietly and Daniel glances over his shoulder, smiling slightly. That's my Daniel.

The company takes cover behind a wall that's crumbling from being hit most likely by mortar shells. Daniel stops behind his captain and Upham comes and stands behind me. It's a little cramped so I just step closer toward Daniel, who shifts his gun to his left hand. He puts his right hand on mine where it's grasping his vest and squeezes before dropping it and holding his gun properly. His captain tells the man in front of him to do it.

"Thunder! Thunder or we will fire on you!"

The captain signals one of his men over and moves to the back to peer around the wall through the slates in the gate.

"Upham, tell them to show themselves," the captain orders. Upham moves over to the captain and shouts, "Montrez-vous! Montrez-vous!"

They must come forward because the captain and Upham run through the gate, Daniel and I following. There is a hole blasted in the side of a building. A family; a man, woman, little girl and boy are inside. He takes up a position next to Upham and I kneel down next to him.

"Ask him if he knows where the Germans are," the captain orders.

Upham translates and the man says something back in French. I then notice the white bundle the French woman has in her arms; a baby. My heart clenches and I feel a wave of pain and grief. I quickly wipe that from my expression and look at Daniel, but he's looking in the opposite direction.

"What's he saying?"

"Something about the children," Upham answers.

"The kids?"

"They want us to take the children."

"No, no, we can't take the kids."

Upham translates this back but the father picks up the girl and dangles her over the edge of the building. One of the soldiers walks up the incline of rubble, I recognize him as the one who told Upham he knew where the captain was from before Daniel called him on it.

He stands in front of the family, slinging his gun over his shoulder and puts his helmet down. He reaches up and takes the little girl, putting her on his hip.

"Are you nuts, listen to the captain!"

"He thinks they'll be safe with us sir," Upham explains.

"They're not safe anywhere!" the captain says as he runs around us. "Caparzo! Put the kid back!"

The man, Caparzo, gives the girl his rosary as she's still reaching for her parents.

"Caparzo! Put that little girl back! Caparzo, give that kid back now!"

But Caparzo doesn't listen. He instead walks toward his captain and says, "Upham, how do you say 'It's okay'?"

Upham doesn't answer and I watch anxiously as the captain and Caparzo fight over whether or not to take the children. We shouldn't; I've seen something like this before, and it didn't turn out good for the soldiers involved, or the little boy.

"I can't sir, she reminds me of my niece sir!" Caparzo says as the little girl cries.

"Caparzo, get the kid back up there!" the captain yells.

"Captain, the decent thing to do is to at least take her down to the next house," Caparzo says.

"We're not here to do the decent thing," the captain says and takes the girl from Caparzo, "We're here to follow fucking orders!"

"Sarge, take this goddamn kid!"

Caparzo then jerks forward and a shot cracks through the air. He lands on a half demolished piano, making a loud noise when he presses miscellaneous keys.

"Cover!" someone shouts and the captain shouts it out a second later, ducking behind a car. Everyone takes cover and Caparzo tries to get his gun and run out of the open, but trips and falls. Daniel grabs my arm and Upham's collar and pulls us toward the captain behind the car. Upham seems to be in shock and stumbles, falling into the car, banging his shoulder on it. I land a little more gracefully.

"Goddamn it, where'd that come from?!"

Daniel let's me go and changes the hand he holds his gun in. "He was on the ground 'fore we heard the shot!"

He moves forward to peer around the car and I tap on Upham's arm, motioning for him to get behind me as I crawl to the side. I leave him just enough room to let him scoot by and I take his place next to Daniel's captain.

"That's where I'd be," Daniel says, looking at something in the distance. Frankly, I'm a little more concerned about Caparzo than the sniper, but I suppose that's just the medic part of me. I can't help take out a sniper, but I know how to treat bullet wounds.

"I didn't see it," his captain says.

"Four hundred fifty feet captain, maybe a shade under," Daniel tells him and adjusts his rifle, tightening and putting extra parts on it that he'll need. "I wouldn't venture out there fellas, this sniper's got talent!"

He reaches behind him to get something off his back but fumbles. I see what he's trying to get and grab his vest with one hand to hold it in place as I remove the piece he needs. I hold it over his shoulder and he takes it. He takes the scope he has on his rifle off and pushes it into my hand as he puts the new scope I gave him in place.

I see him start to get that intense focus he sometimes drifts into; which is a part of why he was always a good shot, he was always able to block everything out and just concentrate on shooting. He gets up and walks around the back of the car, staying low as he screws a piece to lock the scope into his rifle.

I shift over to where Daniel was kneeling before and peer ever so slightly around the car to see Caparzo.

"Hey captain, what's your name?" I ask.

I think I surprise him with my question seeing as how he does a double take and has to take a second before answering. "Miller, John Miller."

I nod, "And what's Caparzo's first name?"

"Adrian," Captain Miller answers.

"Caparzo?! Caparzo, can you hear me?" I shout, anxiously clutching Daniel's cope in my hands just to do something with them.

"Yeah-yeah I can-can hear you!" he shouts back.

"Good, now Wade and I can't come to you just yet, not until the sniper is taken care of, but there might be something you can do in the meantime," I say and wait for his answer.

"I-I think I can walk," he says.

"Caparzo stay still!" Wade yells.

"Caparzo- Adrian, I need you to listen to me. You said earlier when you had the girl that she reminded you of your niece, tell me about her," I instruct, trying to get him to talk about something else to calm him down.

"Her name is M-Mary," he says.

"That's a great name, when was the last time you saw her?" I ask.

"Two years… ago. We took her to-to her first ball game," he says.

"That must've been fun, did she like it?"

"The game, yeah, when the guy behind us spilled his soda all over her, no," he yells, laughing a little at the end.

"Adrian, I promise you that we're going to do everything we can to ensure you get to see her again, but right now I need your help with that. Can you do that?"

"Yeah," he yells.

"Good, okay, you were shot in the back, is there an exit wound?" I ask.

I see him straining to look at his chest and he pats him front before saying, "Yeah, oh god…"

"Adrian, I need you to focus, stay with me. Now, are you having any trouble breathing?"

"I-I feel like there's water in my lungs," he answers and I close my eyes, sighing.

"What? What does that mean?" Caparzo asks in a tone that means he knows it's not good but desperately wants someone to tell him otherwise.

I look at Miller, and his face is grim, and lie, "Nothing, it's not going to be a problem."

"Don't-don't lie doc," Caparzo says, "Fish. Fish!"

I get confused before another man answers. "Carpy put your head down! Put your head down!"

Caparzo takes something out of his jacket and says, "Copy it, copy it and send it for me!"

"Carpy, you're going to send it yourself. Carpy I see it, put it down," Fish says.

Another shot rings out and I tense, waiting to see what just happened.

"Got him!" Daniel yells and I don't hesitate to stand. I run over to Caparzo's side and skid on my knees next to him, putting Daniel's scope of the ground beside him.

I unzip his jacket and Wade gets down on his other side, ripping his under jacket open before his undershirt.

"How bad is it?"

"Chest," Wade answers.

"Probably through the lung," I add.

I put my hands on the wound, applying pressure as Wade gets something out of his vest.

"Wade," I say, noticing Carpy isn't breathing. Wade takes his pulse and closes his eyes, sitting back.

I remove my hands and gently pull his shirt to cover his chest. Someone kneels behind me, their knees brushing my back and side.

"He's gone darlin'," Daniel says softly in my ear. I just barely nod in response and he lays a hand on my shoulder, shifting closer.

Wade stands and unfolds a blanket. Daniel takes his hand off my shoulder and picks up his scope. He puts his other hand on my waist, gently pulling me up as he gets up. I snake an arm around him as we stand over Carpy's body as Wade puts the blanket over him.

Miller comes over and looks at Carpy. "That's why we can't take children."

He bends over and rips Carpy's dog tag off his neck and puts it in one of his pockets.

"Sergeant Horvath, do an ammo check. Upham, canteens, fill them up," Miller tosses his canteen at Upham, who barely catches it.

"Sergeant Hill, Captain Dunne, gather your men, we'll form up at the northwest corner of the square!" Miller yells.

"Jackson!"

"Sir!" Daniel and I both say at the same time.

"Private Jackson," Miller clarifies and Daniel squeezes my waist before going to stand in front of his captain. "Mellish, check the tower, hustle back here. Right now, go!"

I watch as Daniel and Mellish run for the tower and Dunne walks over to me. "Rough day, huh?"

I let out a bark of quiet laughter and he smiles before growing serious. "You should tell him."

My face turns dark. "Tell who what?"

"Your Daniel, you should tell him," Dunne says and looks at Carpy. "You never know when it may be your last chance to, and he deserves to know- and he deserves to hear it from you."

Dunne waves his men that are behind us and they follow Hill's men. Long grabs my shoulder on the way, pushing me forward. On the way past Carpy, I hear Reiben say, "Fuck Ryan."


	6. Chapter 6

We wait at the end of the square for Daniel and Mellish, and when they arrive we start moving again. Daniel comes straight to me and Long leaves my side seeing Daniel's got me covered.

We go down another street and turn into an alley. Hill stops at the corner and glances around the corner before pulling back. "Thunder!"

"Flash! Come on in," another voice says.

Sergeant Hill, Captain Miller, and Captain Dunne walk forward first and the rest of us follow, sticking to the right wall.

"You guys, we're looking for Captain Hamill," Hill says.

"Somewhere down there, across the square."

Miller goes forward and checks out the area before motioning for us to join him. I've taken a hold of Daniel's vest again and follow him down the alley into what appears to be a tower. Daniel scans the vicinity, his sharp eyes looking for snipers.

"Shaw," Dunne says, "Go get Captain Hamill."

"Yes sir," Shaw says and he disappears through the doorway.

"Right, so let's just camp out here for a while," Hill says, laying his gun down and sitting on some fallen wooden planks. "And I can get this goddamn hitchhiker out of my boot."

Daniel turns to face me, making me let go of his vest. I can tell my his expression that he's going to take this moment of relative safety to ask me the questions he's wanted to ask ever since he first saw me. "Lilly, not that I'm not glad to see you darlin', but what the hell are you doing here?"

Before I can answer, there's a loud crash as a stone wall falls behind Hill. There are shouts in another language, German, and Daniel spins around, his gun up and ready. He blindly reaches out and grabs my jacket, pulling me down behind him.

Both sides shout at each other, but we're at a standstill. Upham is trying to speak German, probably trying to tell them to put their weapons down.

Then gunfire erupts, the noise of it making my ears ring, and someone pulls me forward harshly. I land in the dirt on my stomach and someone covers me, laying their body over mine with their arms over my head.

The gunfire stops and the person shifts before rolling off me. I lift my head up and see Daniel lying next to me on his back. I look to see the Germans all on the ground, some dead, others moaning in pain. I scramble off the ground and Daniel reaches over to grab his rifle before getting to his feet too. He puts his hands on my shoulders, looking me up and down for any injuries besides the ones I already had. When he finds none he breathes out relieved and moves a hand to my neck, bringing me into a hug. He kisses my temple before releasing me and helping Reiben up. I give Upham a hand, who looks completely stunned, hauling him to his feet.

Wade follows Horvath into the building and goes to a German soldier, seeing he's still alive. I can see how passionate he is about preserving human life, and while I'm not so inclined to do the same if they're an enemy soldier, I move to help him. I roll out a bandage and Wade presses it to the wound as I wrap it up tightly.

"Wade! Lieutenant Jackson!" Miller shouts a minute later. "We're moving!"

One of Hamill's men comes and helps Wade get the injured German to his feet. I search out Daniel and move back to his side, stopping slightly behind him. We follow Hamill into the safest part of town as the rain comes to a stop.

"How was the route in?" Hamill asks.

"Scenic," Miller answers. "We lost most of our ammo."

"And one of our men," someone adds, but my head is starting to pound as the adrenaline wears off and the pain from my head wound and the multitude of bruises all across my body starts to set in.

"Lieutenant! Redeploy that bazooka to the right side of the road," Hamill orders. "And get Ryan up here."

Miller and Hamill stand off to one side and the rest of us, except for Hill and Dunne's men who have gone elsewhere to help, drift over to the left.

Someone starts calling for Ryan, and Daniel encircles an arm around my waist. Now that we're not in direct danger, he's not as tense, and so is comfortable doing something like that now.

"Here comes our boy," Reiben says as a soldier, who I assume is Ryan, runs to Hamill and Miller.

"Daniel?" I murmur. "What exactly is your mission here?"

"Ryan lost all his brothers, three of them. He's got a ticket home, we're here to make sure he gets there," Daniel explains. I furrow my eyebrows; that seems like a very… odd mission. There's a war going on, and the military spends time and resources on something like this.

"Sir, Private Ryan reporting as ordered," Ryan says when he reaches Hamill.

Daniel and I move to watch the following conversation. When Miller tells Ryan about his brothers, I feel genuine sadness for Ryan as he starts to cry. I press myself in closer to Daniel and lean my head against his chest. He holds me tighter and kisses my hair. I notice Reiben and Mellish looking at us and they seem confused and taken aback, which just confuses me.

"No, that can't be. That can't be, my brothers are still in grammar school," Ryan says.

"You're James Ryan?" Miller asks.

"Yeah."

"James Francis Ryan? From Iowa?" Miller questions.

"James Fredrick Ryan, Minnesota," Ryan corrects.

"You've got to be kidding me," I hear Reiben mutter. I look up at Daniel and see his disbelief and annoyance. They came here for nothing, and they lost Carpy on the way.

Miller leaves, telling Ryan this was just a mistake, but Ryan is still distraught, not convinced his brothers are okay.

Miller and Horvath go to talk to a soldier that may have an idea where their Ryan is. The others sit and wait.

"So, Jackson," Mellish starts. "When did you get married?"

"Three years ago," Daniel answers.

"And you never shared this because…" Reiben trails off.

"Told my last squad, they didn't believe me," Daniel says.

"Why didn't they believe you?" I ask.

He shrugs, trying to avoid the question. "Said I just didn't seem like the fella that could be married."

I make a note to ask him later in private, maybe he'll give me the real answer when we're alone.

"How'd you two meet?" Upham asks.

"I moved to Tennessee with my… father, after my mom died," I falter on the word father and Daniel's arm around my waist tenses, as does the rest of him. I rub my thumb in circles on his back and he relaxes a few seconds later. If anyone noticed they don't mention it. "I met Daniel when we were kids."

"And I'm guessing since you're here," Reiben nods toward me. "You don't have any little Jackson's running around."

My entire body goes rigid as my mind comes to a halt. Painful memories flash before my eyes and I vaguely feel Daniel shift beside me.

"Lilly, you alright darlin'?" he asks.

"Yeah," I say, forcing myself to relax. "And no Reiben, we don't have any children. Although Daniel's got a younger sister, Alice."

"Yeah, he told us about her. Was really worried when he got a letter from his ma saying she was ill."

"It wasn't just her, she got me sick too," I say. By how Daniel's posture changes, I can tell he feels guilty about not having been there and I squeeze his waist to tell him its okay.

"So how'd you end up here?" Upham asks. "I thought women weren't allowed to be field medics."

"They're not; I joined the army as a nurse. I was recruited for a… different kind of mission. The heavy causalities that were expected convinced the higher ups to come up with some sort plan to somehow get them medical treatment. With the beaches it's much easier, but with the paratroopers behind enemy lines, it was going to take a lot of time for help to come, and many soldiers would die in that time. So, they came up with a plan for a group of medics to be sent as well, to set up a field hospital the paratroopers could go to. But because all the male medics were in the field, treating soldiers on the battlefield, they opted to send women. I was selected, as were four others. We landed, set up the hospital, but Captain Dunne's medic was killed, and when he got orders to come here, he asked me to come with to replace the medic," I explain.

"He… invited you to come to an active warzone?" Daniel asks and I can feel his anger building.

"It's all active warzone, but yes, because he knew I'd accept. I probably would have asked to come if he hadn't offered; I wouldn't have let them go without a medic and there were only five of us, all women," I say. I'd rather have him be angry at me than Dunne.

Daniel pushes his anger down and everyone's attention turns to Shaw, who comes running toward us. "Jackson- our Jackson- the cap'n wants to see you."

I nod and look at Daniel. "Be right back."

I give him a quick kiss and follow Shaw down the street and into a building. Dunne is there with Henderson and Andrews, but waves them away when we enter.

"Ah, just the medic I was looking for," he says.

"Sir?" I ask.

"Right, well, seems you are in an unusual situation Lieutenant," he says. "As you know, family members aren't allowed to serve together. But… that really only applies to siblings and father son."

"Sir?" I ask, confused and hopeful.

"Look Jackson, I know how much you wanted to see him again, and I'm not going to be upset if you would want to stay with him," Dunne says.

"Are you telling me that I could… go with Daniel and his squad when they leave?"

"Yes I am. Captain Miller and I already talked about it, and since you both kept your focus earlier in combat, we both don't see a problem with you both being on the same squad," Dunne says.

"But, what about this squad, you'll be left without a medic," I point out.

"We're going to be staying here until our relief arrives, and they'll have plenty of medics and doctors with them. Until then, the medics that are here can take care of the wounded. But Captain Miller's team is probably going to be in far more danger, and it might not hurt for them to have an extra medic, and gun, on hand," Dunne explains.

I'm shocked into silence for a moment before clearing my throat and saying, "Thank you sir, thank you."

He smiles. "Not a problem Lilly. But if you really want to thank me, there is something you can do."

He waits for a second and scrunches up his face as he thinks. "When I first met you, I knew right away that you were running from something. I've seen the look in soldier's eyes before. The look that says they just want to keep going, keep busy so as not look behind them. And it ate away at you, night and day before you told me what had happened. But Lilly, it's still eating at you, and I don't think it'll stop until you tell him. So Lilly, **tell him**."

I open my mouth but close it, and just nod.

He smiles. "Alrighty then, get out of here, Miller's squad is moving out in three hours."

"Yes sir, and thank you sir," I say with pure gratitude.

He waves his hand, "Don't mention it, just… don't die."

I chuckle and say, "Try my best not to sir."

He nods and looks at a map on the table, letting me know he's got nothing further to say. I walk out of the building and recognize one of Hill's men smoking against the side of the building.

"Soldier, you know where Captain Miller and his men are?" I ask.

"Church," he says and points to the right. "That way, can't miss it."

"Thanks," I say and start walking.


	7. Chapter 7

I find the church and go inside. Captain Miller is sitting on a pew right by the door with Sergeant Horvath and I incline my head toward him, thanking him for letting me join his squad. He returns the gesture and goes back to talking with Horvath.

The others are toward the middle of the church and when I spot Daniel I go straight for him, happy that when he leaves I will be going with him.

His back is to me, but Reiben and Mellish can see me coming and say his name, nodding behind him. He turns and I wrap my arms around him.

"Did Captain Miller tell you?" I ask.

"Tell us what?" Reiben asks.

"Gentlemen," Miller says from behind me. "Meet the newest member to our squad."

I look up to see Daniel's reaction and joy flits across his face, and then it gets laced with worry.

"You're kidding?!"

"Captain, we can't take a woman with us-"

"She's been in combat before, and Captain Dunne tells me she's as good as any man he's served with. She's also a medic, and I'm sure Wade won't mind having an extra pair of hands," Miller says.

"No sir," Wade calls out from where he's sitting, writing something.

"Well at least we get to make fun of all the mushy things they're bound to do," Reiben mutters and I raise an eyebrow. I doubt Daniel will be too affectionate where others can see. While he can be quite loving and compassionate, he tends to only really show it when we're alone, or with his ma and sister. Anyone outside of that little group he tends to restrain himself a little more, although he'll still hold my hand or put an arm around my waist, like he's doing now.

As Reiben and Mellish start to fall into their pattern of bickering, the happiness of Miller and Dunne's decision fades as I remember what Dunne asked me to do, and I know he's right. I swallow, starting to get nervous.

"Darlin'?" Daniel asks quietly so the others won't hear, noticing my unease right away.

"I need to tell you something," I say and he nods. We walk toward the back of the church, where there's a room, its door a curtain that I pull back. We step inside and he pulls it closed.

"Lilly darlin', what is it?" Daniel asks as feelings of sorrow and pain and grief plow over me as I remember the child I lost.

"I-I've been keeping something from you, something happened a year ago, right before I joined the army," I say anxiously. "And I don't want to lie to you anymore. You deserve to know."

"Lilly, sweetheart," he says and puts his hands on my arms, rubbing up and down them. "Calm down, I'm sure it can't be that bad."

The utter falsity of that statement makes me give a watery laugh before tears start to cloud my vision. Daniel's concern doubles and he envelops me in a hug.

"Daniel, I was pregnant," I say and every muscle in his body freezes.

"When you le-left for basic, a couple months later I-I suspected I was pregnant. I didn't te-tell you, I wanted to b-be sure first," I explain, my tears impeding my ability to speak.

He seems to regain his senses somewhat and pushes me backward to sit on a bench. He kneels in front of me, clasping my hands in his and waits for me to collect myself enough to continue.

"When i-it was confirmed, I was going t-to write you, tell you, but Al-Alice and I fell ill, and the ne-next week I-I… I lost the baby," I say, starting to sob harder.

A moment later his arms are around me again.

"I'm so sorry Daniel," I cry. "I-I should have- I didn't-"

"Shh," he soothes, rubbing my back. "Shh, it's gonna be okay darlin'. It's gonna be alright."

While Daniel's brain is slowly processing the fact his wife was going to have a child, his foremost thoughts are on the fact Lilly is in pain, and crying.

"I'm so sorry. Daniel, oh god, I'm sorry," I say between gasps for air.

"Shh, it wasn't your fault sweetheart. It happens, it wasn't your fault," he says gently.

As I start to calm down, he lean back and wipes away the remainder of my tears with his thumbs. He kisses my forehead, careful of the cut there.

"Why didn't you tell me? You could've written it in one of your letters," he asks.

"I didn't want you to find out through a piece of paper. And you were in a war; I didn't want to cause you any more pain. And I… I didn't think I could handle it if you blamed me," I admit quietly.

"Why would I blame you?" he asks astonished.

I close my eyes and whisper. "Because I blame myself."

"Lilly," he says sharply and I flinch. I start to fold in on myself, pulling away from him, but his hands catch my arms, holding me in place.

"Lilly," he says again, softer this time. He sighs, realizing his mistake- because of how my dad abused me, I hate fighting, and have trouble when people raise their voice. When I've directly involved in these arguments, my mind tells me it's not safe and to leave the situation, not just physically, but mentally.

Daniel and I have had our fair share of arguments, but they were never really arguments. We always worked out our problems calmly and reasonably, but there are some times we raised our voices. I always get sent back there, my instincts telling me to retreat into myself whenever that happens, like right now.

Daniel slowly, so I can see his movements, comes closer to me. He puts his hands on mine, slowly sliding them up my arms. One stops on my neck, right below my jaw, and the other goes to gently cup my cheek. I relax slightly, starting to come back to him. "Look at me darlin'."

I open my eyes and there's no anger on his face, just love and concern.

"Lilly, this wasn't your fault, do you believe me?" he asks firmly.

The large amount of guilt I feel lessens- hearing it from him makes all the difference. Coming from him I can believe it. I was so afraid of how he would react, if he would be angry. Looking back that now it seems so silly.

The stress from my body fades. I nod tearfully and he kisses my lips ever so softly before kissing my forehead and hugging me again. I grip his jacket as my breathing levels out.

"Jackson! Or… Jacksons!" Mellish says, his voice getting louder as he gets closer. "Can I come in, or are you two getting dirty?"

I let out a small laugh, along with a slight blush and Daniel just rolls his eyes. "Mellish, just get your ass in here."

Mellish pulls the curtain open, but his grin slips off when he sees the tear stains on my face. "Sorry."

"Its fine," Daniel says, "What's going on?"

"Captain said to get some sleep, we're moving out in three hours. But first he wants you to help Lilly get her gear together and bring it here before lights out," he tells us and Daniel nods.

Mellish backs out of the room, sliding the curtain shut and Daniel turns back to me.

"You okay darlin'?" he asks.

"I will be," I say and lean toward him. He meets me halfway for a hug and I close my eyes, taking a moment to get myself together before we have to go outside.

When I'm ready, I pull away and stand, Daniel holding onto my hand, intertwining our fingers together.

It only takes a few minutes to retrieve my gear from the makeshift hospital. After filling up my canteen, checking to see if I have rations, checking the ammo I have for my gun, and grabbing any medical supplies I may need, we go back to the church.

Miller and Horvath are still up, talking quietly. Mellish, Reiben, Upham, and Wade are all lying down, some asleep, and some trying to get asleep.

We pass Reiben who opens his eyes and says, "You two, take the room back there, it'll give you more… privacy, and hopefully you won't wake us up."

I blush scarlet and he laughs. Mellish leans out and kicks him in the stomach.

"Shit Fish, that hurt!" Reiben whisper yells.

"Leave them alone and go to sleep!" Mellish says back.

I smile in amusement and whisper, "Thanks Fish."

"Anytime doll, any reason to kick this sorry excuse of a-"

"Sorry excuse!" Reiben protests.

"Although, if you two are going to do something, remember that Reiben needs his beauty sleep, and frankly, so do I," Mellish teases.

I roll my eyes and drag Daniel toward the back room. He picks up his stuff on the way and we enter the room, dropping our bags on the ground. Daniel unrolls his blanket and I take out mine and he sits on the floor. He lies down on his side and yanks on my arm, and I fall right on top of him. We both laugh a little and I smile at him.

"I missed you Daniel," I whisper.

"I missed you too sweetheart," he says and I smile at this term of affection. He only uses it when we're alone; otherwise he just calls me darlin'.

I lean down as he lifts his head up and we kiss, full of passion and love. When it ends I move off him and he turns onto his side. I lay with my back to him and he lays his arm over my side, practically dragging me toward him, not having the patience to wait for me to move closer. I giggle and pull the blankets over us. He shifts and I can feel his breath on my neck, his face buried in my hair.

"I love you," he says.

"And I love you," I say back, no hesitation whatsoever.

His hand finds mine and intertwines out fingers. He presses a soft kiss to my neck before saying, "Get some sleep sweetheart, we don't have long."

I close my eyes and for the first time in a long time, I feel at ease. Everything is right in my world again; Daniel is with me.


	8. Chapter 8

I wake up about an hour later to a large crack of thunder. I hear the church door squeak as it opens, moonlight illuminating the gap in the curtain briefly. Daniel doesn't even stir from where he is right behind me. However, another part of him is stirring. I blush realizing what that is pressing against my lower back and move a little to look behind me. His eyes are closed but he shifts a little when I move, pulling me closer if that's even possible. He buries his face in my hair and rubs his hips against mine, making me blush again when I realize just how hard he is. I shake his arm that's around my waist, whispering to him to wake up. His eyes open and he blinks a few times before he seems wide awake.

"What? What is it?" he asks.

"Nothing, I just woke up because of the thunder, and found that even though I knew you missed me, it appears… other parts of you also missed me," I say, smirking a little.

I can't see very well in this light- or rather lack of- but I can imagine the slight blush creeping over his face and ears. "Sorry."

"Don't be," I say, leaning back further to kiss him lips in a chaste kiss, before grinding my hips back against him.

He inhales sharply and grabs my hip so tightly I'll probably have bruises there tomorrow. "Don't be starting something you're not going to finish darlin'."

"Who said I wasn't going to finish it?" I ask.

His lips are then on mine and he snakes a hand to the back on my neck. He presses his hips forward, rubbing his hard on against me. His tongue runs against my bottom lip and as soon as I open my mouth just a little wider, he's pushing his tongue inside. I can feel his urgency, and almost desperation, and turn all the way around so I'm facing him. He glides his hand down my body from my neck to my upper hip. As he grinds his hips forward, he pulls mine to meet him halfway. His breathing is heavy already and I trail my hand that was in his hair down his neck, then chest until I reach his lower abdomen. I push against him slightly, needing him to back away a little so I can get to his shirt. He does so reluctantly, making me smile into our kiss, and moves his hand upward, pushing my shirt up so my undershirt is revealed, before un-tucking that shirt as well to get to my skin underneath. I unbutton his jacket and pull his undershirt from his pants hurriedly, before undoing the button there. I wait a beat and smile as he kisses me impatiently, moving his hips forward. I push my hand into his pants and into his underwear, lightly grasping his member. He tenses, sucking in a breath through his nose before relaxing and moaning quietly. He moves his lips down to kiss and nip at my neck. He thrusts his hips forward into my hand and at his almost frantic behavior I know he isn't going to last long. I run my fingers through the hair at the base of his member and pull it out of his pants. I rub my thumb over the slit, getting his pre-cum on my fingers, before moving my hand back down. He's panting and I squeeze his member tightly at the bottom of the head, knowing he loves that, and he lets out a moan that's probably louder than it should be considering where we are.

"Shh, shh, shh," I say softly, using my other hand to cup his cheek. He moves his head back up, kissing along my jaw before capturing my lips in a searing kiss as I stroke his member quickly.

"Lilly," he says, his voice strained.

"It's okay love," I whisper. He tenses and his breathing hitches and a few seconds later he surprises me as his seed spills over my fingers and our stomachs- he usually lasts longer than that. He shudders and his hand squeezes my side as he rides out his climax. A few seconds later he stills, except for his heavy breathing, and his warm bursts of seed stop as well. A moment later I kiss his lips and whisper, "I'll be right back."

I slip out from underneath the blanket and look for something to clean up with and see a piece of ripped tapestry. I pick it up, cleaning my hand and stomach before going back to Daniel. I can see his eyes in the darkness, watching me and I crawl back under the blanket and wipe him clean as well. His breathing is almost back under control and he puts his arm around me, pulling me flush against him to kiss him passionately, making my hand lose the grip of the fabric and it drops onto the floor beside us.

I put my hand on his cheek and whisper, "You surprised me a little; it usually takes longer for you to…"

I can feel the heat rush to his face under my hand and I shake just slightly with laughter. He then surprises me by pushing me onto my back and rolling on top of me.

"What can I say darlin', you make me crazy," he whispers in my ear, and his tone makes me shudder. He waits a beat before saying in that same voice that I love, "Your turn."

Using one arm to prop himself up above me, he uses the other to push my shirt back up. He sneaks a hand under my bra as he places his lips on mine again in an intense kiss. It feels like an electric shock goes through my body and I fumble slightly as I move my arms to put my hands on the back on his neck, trying to draw him in closer.

I feel my bra suddenly loosen and when his hand finds by breast I jolt as a flash of heat rushes through me. My breathing gets shaky and he releases my lips. I can feel his nose trailing down my jaw before he reaches the side of my neck and starts placing soft kisses there. He rubs my nipple between his fingers and massages my breast gently before moving to the other one. His lips reach my collarbone and he bites there harder than before. I arch my back, pressing my front against his and he runs his tongue over the bite, making it sting a little, but the small pain just adds to my arousal. I feel like I'm on fire and he starts moving his hand that's on my breast down my stomach. He grasps my left hip, rubbing circles on my stomach with his thumb. I try to lift my hips again, to get some sort of relief, but he pushes me down.

"Daniel," I say breathily, somewhat pleading.

I feel him smile into my neck and he moves his hand to my pants, undoing the button and sitting up slightly to use both hands to push my pants and underwear down to my knees. This surprises me a bit considering he doesn't really need to, but all thoughts are obliterated from my mind when his fingers find my core. I can't help the whimper that escapes and he's suddenly kissing me again, deeply as if trying to pull the sound from my throat.

"Shh, quiet now love," he says.

He uses his thumb to rub my pearl as he pushes one finger into me, slowly, almost torturously. I have to stifle another whimper and with how he kisses me again I must not have been so successful. He bites my lip and sucks on it as he pumps his finger in and out before adding a second one. My head feels hazy and he suddenly stops.

"Breathe," he whispers and I realize that I hadn't been which is probably why my head feels so thick. I suck in a breath and after a few more my head starts to clear and his fingers start moving again, as do his lips on my neck.

He presses down on my pearl and curls his fingers inside me. He rubs at that spot that makes me see stars and adds a third finger, stretching me a little since his fingers are rather thick. My hips are moving in time with his fingers and I know that if it was anyone else I would be so embarrassed with everything that we've been doing. But I trust him, completely, and know that with him I don't have to be embarrassed, or afraid. He's the only person I've ever been with and the first time we were together he was so gentle and caring I wasn't even an ounce self-conscious or scared, just like now.

His fingers start to move faster and he tweaks my pearl. I feel the heat rising and I start to shake. He shifts his other arm under me, his hand grasping the back of my neck. My hands clutch at his back, the fabric of his jacket getting balled in my hands.

"Daniel," I whimper.

"Come on Lilly," he whispers, "Come for me."

And I do, hard. My back arches and my toes curl. My knuckles are probably white with how tightly I'm grasping his jacket and when he kisses me it's bruising and full of heat. I wish I could return it, but the pleasure is overwhelming, and I can't do much of anything but hold onto him, trembling, while he strokes the inside of my core as I ride out my orgasm. It's almost too much, it brings tears to my eyes it's so much.

As I start to come down, my muscles slowly relax, and I release my death grip on him. I'm still breathing heavily and shaking slightly when he slowly removes his fingers. He kisses the tip of my nose and then my lips chastely before his weight is suddenly gone from over top of me. My head is still fuzzy, but I vaguely hear the rustling of fabric and then he's back. His fingers part my folds and something thicker replaces them. It takes a second for me to realize what it is.

"Lilly," he says, his voice tight, and I know that while he's having trouble controlling himself, he won't go forward with this unless I give him permission.

"Please," I plead, full out begging now. What he did before was mind-blowing, but I want- no I need- to be as close to him as possible, to feel him inside me. It's been so long, he's been gone so long, and I just need… him.

He goes slowly, which I'm grateful for since I'm still extremely sensitive, and he's always been a little thick for me to take. Of course this is probably why he goes so slow; he knows my body just as well as I do, at least in regard to sex.

When he kisses me this time it's slow, and gentle, and so intimate, that it makes my heart ache with how loved he makes me feel. When he's fully seated inside me he stops and shifts before his fingers are underneath my eyes. I realize I'm crying, and he's wiping away my tears.

"Lilly," he says, his voice full of pain. He starts to pull away from me, probably thinking he hurt me, but my arms are around him in a flash, pulling him back on top of me.

"No, don't, please," I say, my sentence coming in broken fragments. "You-you didn't hurt me, promise."

He relaxes slightly, knowing I would tell him if he did. He always reassured me that it was okay to tell him to stop if he did something I was uncomfortable with, or was in pain. He leans his head down, putting his forehead to mine.

"Lilly, talk to me, tell me what's going on," he says patiently, no frustration or anger in his voice, just worry and concern.

"Daniel, I just… you're going to think I'm such a…" I pause, trying to come up with the right word before settling on, "…girl."

"Never," he says gently but firmly and I relax. Of course he wouldn't.

"I just… I missed you so much. You were gone, and now you're here and-" the tears start to come again and my breath hitches, making me stop mid sentence.

His thumbs wipe away my tears again before he lays a soft kiss on my forehead, then my nose and lips. "Shh, shh, shh, I'm here Lilly, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere darlin', I promise. I'm here, I've got you sweetheart."

He keeps saying things like this until my tears stop, and then a moment later he whispers, "I missed you too, you have no idea how much."

I smile, a feeling of pure love overwhelming me, not just from his words but his actions, and I move one hand to the back of his neck, and with the other I thread my fingers into his hair. I pull his head down and he kisses me so gently and slowly, like I'm something sacred.

"You are, to me," he says and I realize that I said that last part aloud after he broke the kiss. I blush and he puts his forehead against mine again.

"I love you Lilly, so much," he whispers and I'm slightly shocked to find he's getting choked up. While he shows more emotion to me than anyone else, it's still rare that he cries.

"Oh god, Daniel, I love you too," I say as he buries his face in my neck and I feel a tear or two land on my skin.

"Daniel?" I question. "Make love to me, please. I-I need you, please Daniel."

My voice is straining with the effort not to cry again, but I know he'll hear it. He lifts his head and moves his arms under me. "Its okay love, let it out. I'm here, its okay. I got you, let it out."

And so I do. Tears slowly but steadily trail down my face and he kisses them away before slowly starting to move. My knees move upward and come to rest against his waist. He drags a hand down my side, slowly, and stops at my hip, helping me establish a rhythm with his thrusts. My right hand grasps at his upper arm and his right arm ghosts over my left one before his hand settles in mine and threads our fingers together. He kisses me constantly, on my lips, my face, my neck, and every time a tear escapes my eyes he's there to kiss it away. His tenderness just makes me cry more with how touched I am by it, knowing that I- and only I- get to see this side of him, and that it's because of me that he's showing it.

He adjusts his angle and by how my hands grasp his jacket and his hand tighter, and how I gasp before letting out a soft moan, he knows he's hit the spot he's been looking for. He speeds up his thrusts, but is just as gentle and tender. He runs the hand not gripping mine through my hair and sucks at my neck, probably leaving a mark, not that I mind others seeing who I belong to.

I lose track of time, of everything except him and I, and start to feel the familiar heat pooling in my stomach.

"Daniel," I say my tone urgent as I try to tell him.

"Me too," he says, his breathing harsh.

He releases my hand and brings it between our bodies, rubbing my pearl and before I really realize what's happening, my climax hits me. His hand disappears until it finds mine again. I grip it so tight I'm afraid I'm going to break it, but he doesn't try to make me let go. I arch against him and his thrusts speed up even more. I tremble, almost violently that's how intense my orgasm in. My muscles tense and my walls clamp down on him as my vision goes black.

"Daniel!" I say, louder than I should, but at this point I really don't care even if we do get teased for it tomorrow.

His thrusts get faster, more desperate. He suddenly stills before his entire body shudders. I feel his seed fill me, the force and warmth of it as it coats my walls. His face is buried in my neck, his breathing uneven and heavy. It's like I've become hyperaware of every sensation; how his hand keeps clutching mine, how his member jerks inside me every time it releases a ribbon of his seed, and how he is placing gentle kisses on my neck as he trembles with the aftershock of his release. How a few more tears escape my eyes and how a few tears land on my neck from where Daniel has buried his face in it.

I slowly run my hand from his arm to his neck and he shifts to place a light kiss on my lips. We slowly relax as we come down from our high and lethargy starts to settle in. He gives my hand a squeeze before letting it go to grab my waist and sit up slightly, slowly pulling himself out of me. I shudder, feeling suddenly empty and… vulnerable. I shiver and wrap my arms around my chest, becoming smaller. He seems to notice because he places his hands on my arms and rubs them, saying, "It's okay darlin', I'm here now, relax. I'm not going anywhere."

He reaches behind me to get something and I realize it was the piece of cloth I used earlier as he uses it to wipe up his seed from my body. He fixes his clothes and then is pulling my pants up. I lift my hips to help him slide them back on and go to button them but he touches my hands before slowly pulling them away.

"Let me," he says, and there's a sort of… pleading in his voice. I realize that he wants- maybe needs- to do this himself. He's always been a protector; of his mama, his sister, and of me. He's protected us and taken care of me when no one else would, and then he had to leave. He would write to me saying he felt like he abandoned his family and me. With how I was crying he probably feels even guiltier about that. Maybe he just wants to ensure that I know he's here, or that I'm here with him, and that nothing's changed even after we've been separated for a year and are now in the middle of a war zone.

He does the button on my pants before he starts fixing my top half, pulling down my many shirts. He lowers his head to mine and kisses me chastely but with pure love. Feelings of affection and safety overwhelm my already frayed emotions and a few more tears glide down my face.

He wipes them away and whispers, his voice hoarse, "I love you Lilly."

"I love you too," I whisper back.

He surprises me by kneeling next to me and slipping one arm under my back and the other under my knees. He lifts me onto his lap and scoots back so he's sitting against the wall. My head is lying on his shoulder and I move so my arms are wrapped all the way around his waist. He grabs a blanket and spreads it over us as I bend my knees, curling up on his lap. I seem to melt into him as he pulls me as close as possible.

I feel him press a kiss to my forehead and whisper, "Sleep darlin', I'll be here when you wake up."

That was exactly the right thing to say, and I go to sleep not feeling alone, but safe, and protected, and loved by the one person more precious to me than anything or anyone else.

Captain Miller and Sergeant Horvath get everyone up an hour later to move out. Miller goes to the back of the church, where Jackson and his wife are and pulls back the curtain. He stops and just watches them for a moment. They look so peaceful, entangled together. He can't even see Lilly's face from how she has it hidden in Jackson's neck, but he can see how Jackson's arms are wrapped around her protectively, as if shielding her from the world. If he found his wife in the middle of a war zone he'd probably react the same way.

He sighs before going over and shaking Jackson awake first. It only takes a second for him to wake up, and then another one before he's wide awake as if he'd never been asleep at all. Being a soldier conditions you to waking up at a moment's notice.

"Captain?" Jackson says.

"Time to move out," Miller says and turns to move away but stops. "And Private?"

"Yeah Captain?" Jackson asks.

"Next time, find a room with thicker walls, or a real door," Miller says and Jackson blushes- actually blushes. "I won't say anything more on it, just hope no one else heard you two because they probably will."

"Yes sir, thank you sir," Jackson says, his face and ears still red, not meeting his captain's eyes. Miller just shakes his head and gives the others a shake to wake them up before walking out of the church to join Horvath and Wade, who were already awake. Reiben and Mellish start getting their things together, and Jackson untangles himself from Lilly, packing the blanket into his pack before shaking her awake.

"Lilly, darlin', we're moving out," he whispers and her eyes open.

"Alright," she sighs and sits up. He gives her a hand to her feet and she adjusts her clothing, tucking her shirts in since he hadn't been able to before since she was lying down.

He clears his throat and whispers, "Captain Miller heard us."

Lilly immediately knows what he's talking about and her eyes widen before a bright blush appears on her cheeks. "Oh god."

"It's okay, he won't say anything, just hope no one else heard," Jackson assures her.

She nods, still mortified, and starts to get her stuff together.

Jackson puts his over jacket on and he looks at the others in the other room; Mellish is helping Upham with his pack and Reiben is putting his boots back on. The doors to the church are wide open and outside Wade is tending to an injured soldier as Miller and Horvath talk to Hamill and Dunne. He is so grateful he's letting Lilly come with them; he doesn't think he'd be able to leave without her after just finding her again.

A weight settles around his waist and he looks down to see Lilly's arms. Her front presses against his back as she asks, "What are you thinking about?"

"Just how grateful I am to your SO," he answers.

"He's a good man, and he knows how much you mean to me… I sort of talked about you a lot to him," she says, blushing slightly.

He chuckles and turns around in her arms. "I have no doubt; there is a lot to say about me."

She smiles and shakes her head, hitting my arm lightly. "Shut up."

She wraps her arms around my neck as he places her hands on her hips, pulling her in closer for a kiss.

A whistle interrupts them and Lilly leans her forehead into his chest as Jackson looks over his shoulder to glare at Mellish. He, Upham, and Reiben are staring at them with grins on their faces and Horvath interrupts as he comes inside.

"Come on men," he says before looking at Jackson and Lilly, "And lady, as soon as Wade is done with this patient we're moving out of this town."

"I'm, uh," Lilly clears her throat, "I'm going to help Wade."

Lilly starts to pull away and Jackson presses a kiss to her hairline. She walks past the others that are still watching and grinning at them like its Christmas.

She hears Reiben start teasing Jackson as she exits the church. "That was cute bumpkin, really, didn't think our cold sniper had it in him. And she- wow, I mean really, I bet under that uniform-"

"Shut up Reiben," Jackson practically growls and Reiben holds his hands up.

"Woah, hit a nerve there did I?" Reiben says. "Alright, jeez, not my fault you can't take a joke."

"Reiben, maybe you should lay off," Mellish says, seeing Jackson's death glare. He's never seen Jackson like this, ever, and he's sort of afraid what will happen if Reiben pushes him too far. It's obvious that Lilly is the most important thing in his world, and so it would make sense that what he would hate more than anything is something joking about what they have.

Reiben looks at Mellish and sees the true concern there. "Alright, fine, god…"

Jackson picks up his pack and slings it over his shoulder, grabbing his gun with his other hand. He loves Reiben, really, but sometimes…

The wind hits him as soon as he steps out of the church and Miller calls Jackson over, giving him a few orders to help Upham who just walked out of the church too.

After Jackson helps the little Upchuck, he checks his ammo before someone stands next to him. Reiben, who clears his throat and begins speaking, "Jackson, um, I shouldn't have given you a hard time earlier… sorry."

Jackson looks up at him, his eyebrows raised in surprise. He doesn't think he's ever heard Reiben apologize, for anything. He stares at him shocked and confused.

"I should've known better, I sort of… overheard you two last night, you know, when you two were…" Reiben admits, sort of hesitant about bringing it up. Jackson just nods, figuring Miller probably wasn't the only one who heard them. "But I didn't just hear you two… you know. I heard what you were saying too. And… and I hope that one day I'll be lucky enough to find something even remotely close to what you two have."

Jackson just stares at him, blinking, not believing this is coming from Reiben of all people. Of course no one here believed him when he told them he had a wife- no one thought he could be anything but the calm and calculating sniper long enough to get a woman. Maybe he shouldn't be so surprised that there's more to Reiben than sarcastic comments and that arrogant bravado he shows.

"Alright, enough mushy crap. And this doesn't mean I won't still tease you about it," Reiben says.

"I wouldn't expect anything less," Jackson drawls.

"All right company," Miller yells, "Time to go."


	9. Chapter 9

Captain Dunne and his men escort us to the edge of the town, providing backup just in case we run into any trouble. But once we get there, we enter the forest and they turn back; we're now on our own.

It's dark out, around midnight if I had to guess, and I stick close to Wade. Being a medic, I'm put into the middle of the diamond formation the squad takes up. Even though I have a gun, medics aren't really supposed to have them. The Geneva Convention created a set of rules for warfare, one of them forbade firing on field medics, even if they are they are your enemies' medics. Because of this, field medics aren't issued guns. Personally, I think this is stupid. The longer a war goes on, the more cruel people get as their family, friends, and fellow soldiers are killed. A piece of paper isn't going to stop the Nazi's- or anyone- from firing on medics if they really want to. I think that's why Dunne gave me a gun in the first place. I may be a medic first- preferring to aid the wounded instead of creating more of them- but I think he knew I might have needed it on day. Plus, technically I'm just a nurse, one that happens to be traveling with a squad of Allied soldiers in enemy controlled territory. I'm not a field medic- technically.

No one is talking, not at night. Visibility is low and you can't see if someone is close by, not like you can during the day. You have to rely on your hearing instead of your sight, and talking could alert others to your position.

We've been walking for about an hour when lights erupt over Neuville, followed by what sounds like claps of thunder. Its explosions; probably bombs being dropped by fighter planes. If I didn't know that, I would say it was beautiful.

Hours later, after the sun has risen, Reiben starts a conversation with Mellish. It's just as much for entertainment as it is to keep them awake. Looking back at Upham, I wouldn't be surprised if he suddenly fell over asleep, only to wake up upon hitting the ground.

"…so then he picks our ma's favorite vase and throws it at me. I duck and it hits the wall behind me, shattering into little pieces. Our ma runs in and we just look at her before my brother points at me and says I did it! Me!"

"Doesn't seem too farfetched to me," Daniel comments.

"Just like you being married wasn't farfetched. You didn't even tell us," Reiben shoots back.

Daniel sighs in exasperation. "You're never gonna stop with that, are you?"

"Hell no," Mellish says.

"Reiben?" I ask.

"Yeah doll," he says.

"Did any of you ever ask him if he was married?"

"Well…no," Reiben admits. "But he never even hinted, and he doesn't have a ring on."

"Really," Daniel says and takes out a metal chain from beneath his shirt. "So what's this then?"

On the chain is a gold cross, and a plain, gold ring.

Reiben just looks at it before turning back to the front, scowling.

"So, how exactly are we gonna tell you two apart. I mean, you're both called Jackson," Mellish says.

"Call Daniel by Jackson, and call me by my first name," I suggest.

"Good idea Lilly," Miller yells over his shoulder from where he's leading us in the front.

"Thank you sir," I call back.

A few seconds later Reiben speaks back up. "So… how did you two meet exactly?"

"At school, when we were kids," Daniel says shortly.

"So I'm guessing it wasn't love at first sight then," Reiben says.

I laugh and Daniel answers. "Nah, we were best friends. My sister, Alice, loved her. Lilly spent more time at our house than her own."

"Well it's not like I wanted to be at home," I remark.

"Just like I didn't want you to be there," Daniel says.

"Why?" Mellish asks.

"My… father wasn't a very nice person," I hint.

Nobody says anything, all getting what I'm trying to say- well everyone except Upham.

"I don't get it."

Mellish slaps the back of his head and tries, but fails, to whisper quietly, "He was abusive moron."

I flinch and Daniel walks closer to me, brushing his hand against mine.

"Oh," Upham says, blushing. "What about your mother?"

"She died, when I was eight. My father told me she had drowned. A day later we were going to Tennessee," I answer.

"Did she really drown?" Captain Miller asks and I smile at the fact he picked up that I didn't say that she did drown; just that that's what I was told happened.

"Yes, but it wasn't until I was sixteen that I found out my father murdered her, by drowning," I say.

There's a moment of silence before Upham hesitantly speaks up. "And… and how did your father get arrested?"

"How do you think Upchuck, the police carted him away in handcuffs," Mellish says.

"I found out about how…" Daniel trails off, looking at me for permission to tell them and I just nod. "…about how he hit her. He would usually do it in places no one would see, but that day the bruise was on her face."

"When he asked me what happened I just broke down and told him everything," I say giving him a small smile and taking his hand. "I had to physically stop him from going to my house and confronting my father."

"If you hadn't I probably would've killed him," Daniel mutters.

"Yes, I knew that then too, which is why I wouldn't let you, because then you would've been sent to jail instead of him," I scold.

I can tell that he knows I'm right, but just doesn't want to admit it.

"After that Daniel and his dad taught me how to defend myself against my father. When I turned eighteen I told my father I was moving into Daniel's house- his parents wanted me to come as much as I wanted to go. He was furious and beat me good before I managed to knock him out. I ran all the way to Daniel's house. When I got to Daniel's, this was the last straw and I told them to call the police. They came, arrested my father, and then a few days later we found out he had an outstanding warrant for my mother's murder in New York," I explain.

Again there's silence, just the sound of birds and insects, and the crunching of grass beneath our boots.

"I'm sorry," Wade says.

"Please don't, it wasn't your fault, and I got a new family in the end," I look at Daniel who squeezes my hand and smiles softly. There are tears just barely in my eyes.

"Jackson, fall back into formation," Miller says, although you can tell he's sorry for making us separate.

Daniel nods and pulls his hand from mine, both of us reluctant to let go. Wade walks up next to me, taking Daniel's place and reaches for my hand. It's not the same, but it helps after bringing up such painful memories. I look behind me at Daniel and he's just looking at us smiling softly.

After our story, no one is in a talking mood, including me. But an hour later Miller switches the squad around and Upham is near me. The others have shared about their lives, except Miller of course and Upham.

"Upham," I get his attention.

"Hmm?" he says.

"Tell me about yourself," I say.

"Yeah Upchuck, tell her about yourself," Reiben laughs.

"Reiben, do be quiet unless you have something to say that is becoming of the soldier you're supposed to be," I say.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" he asks.

"It means, Upham may not have as much experience as you, but he is still a member of this squad, he's in the same dangerous place as you. That in of itself deserves respect; I'm sure when you first joined you were just as nervous as him," I say.

Reiben sighs dramatically. "Fine, Upham go ahead."

I look at Upham and he starts to tell me about his family and things the squad didn't know before. His brother was also a soldier, but died, and his father died from disease years ago when he was just a kid. He didn't enlist in the army because his mother is sick, dying, and he knew that if he joined the army, he may not get back in time to see her again before she passed on.

I sling an arm around his neck and say, "Have faith, you'll see her again."

"Dead or alive?" he asks quietly.

"Only time will tell," I say, not wanting to make a promise I can't keep.

I pull my arm back and Miller tells Upham to tell them about his book. Upham starts talking again but a few sentences in Miller stops and holds up a hand. Upham was looking at me as he talked and so doesn't see, so I slap a hand over his mouth. He gets the message and stops talking so I take my hand back.

Miller moves forward, starting to run. We get closer and see it's a plane- a crashed plane in the trees. We start to hear voices, some shouts, and moans. We can see tents around the trees and go through the plane to get to the makeshift camp. There are bodies inside, wearing American uniforms, and the plane is painted with American tags.

There are canopies, under them injured soldiers.

"Wade, Lilly!"

"Yes sir?" Wade says.

"See what you can do," Miller orders and Wade is already moving to a soldier before he finishes his sentence. I kneel next to a patient beside the one he's working on and Reiben and Daniel join us.

"How we doing here?" Wade asks as I inspect a wound.

Daniel sits behind Wade's patient, putting his head up. "It's alright, it's alright. Don't worry fellas, the 29th Infantry's breaking through, they'll be here soon."

I wrap a bandage around the soldier's bloody shoulder and see he's already been given morphine, plus he's asleep anyway so can't feel anything at the moment.

"Reiben, help me with this," I say seeing Daniel's busy with Wade. With Reiben's help I treat a gash on a soldier's abdomen and move onto another wounded man.

Reiben and Daniel give the men cigarettes and hold the men's canteens up for them to take a drink if they can't themselves.

"Reiben," Wade calls and Reiben turns after lightning a cigarette for a soldier. "Smell that leg right there, find out if its south of cheese."

Reiben gives Wade a look of 'why are you making me do this?' but does as Wade asks, kneeling down and taking a sniff. He immediately pulls back and nods grimly.

I treat a few more soldiers, getting a few of the less wounded soldiers to help. They have some supplies; they just didn't know how to use them all.

The first few soldiers who I ordered to help me stood there for a few seconds, too dumbfounded by the fact I was a woman to move. Well, until I practically shouted at them, telling them to put their asses in gear. They pretty much scurried to obey me after that, realizing I wasn't just a girl, but one who could help them.

"Lilly, come help me with this," Wade says, voice full of authority. Even though I am technically his superior officer, I obey his command. He's working on a patient with a nasty stomach wound, and I help him stitch it up and wrap it, along with two other soldiers helping.

As I'm finishing I see Wade stand and use a piece of cloth to try to get the blood off his hands. He's looking at something and I look around him to see the rest of the squad sitting around a short table, looking through something. They must have walked right past us; I was so engrossed in my work I didn't even notice. I go to stand next to Wade and notice a glint off of the small items the squad is throwing around.

"What are those?" I ask a feeling of dread in my stomach.

Wade doesn't answer, he just storms forward. I look away and move onto another wounded soldier, but keep looking back at the squad. Wade has gone over and starting shoving whatever they were looking at back in a bag.

"…these aren't poker chips, put em' back in there," I can hear him shout and the others start to help him do just that. I can guilt on their faces and Miller holds up a handful of the metal objects. I then realize what they are- dog tags. I think I'm going to be sick. They were going through dog tags… and they were laughing. They were laughing at the only thing left of men who had died fighting in this stupid war.

I finish up with the patient, handing over the metaphorical reins to another soldier. I go to stand by Captain Miller, who has a look of horror on his face as he realizes what he and the others were doing. He still has the handful of dog tags and I place my hands over top his. Everyone watches as I take them from his hands and gently place them in the bag, before gathering the remaining ones on the table and placing them inside as well, my face full of an insurmountable sorrow. "These were people. They all had friends, families, homes that they will never be able to visit again. Have some fucking respect."

The last part I say with a bit of venom and finish with the tags, tying the bag and gripping it as I stand back. I wrap my arms around myself and stand apart from the others, trying to distance myself from this harsh reality of this war. One of these tags could've easily been Daniel's. He could've died and the only thing that would've been left of him would've been that small piece of metal.

"He's not here," I vaguely hear the Captain say. He walks around me and Daniel stands up, coming closer.

"I'm sorry darlin'," he says quietly. Ever since my father's beatings got worse, when I think about things that terrify me- I mean like Daniel, or Alice, or Ruth dying- I start to zone out, retreating into myself to escape those thoughts. Daniel was always the best at getting me back to reality, and during the war it was either Dunne or another nurse that would pull me out of it. It never happened when I was on duty, for I would never have time to for I would always be too busy to think.

Daniel must see it on my face because he moves behind me and puts his arms around my waist, hugging me.

"Your tag could've been one of those," I whisper.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," he says and kisses my temple. "I didn't think."

I relax into him and close my eyes, only to open them when Captain Miller starts shouting.

"Ryan! Anybody know Ryan, Ryan? You know a guy named Ryan? Private James Ryan from lowa? Anybody know a Ryan? James Ryan?!"

"Hey Joe, doesn't Meddleson pal around with a Ryan from C company?" a guy says to someone else- Joe- who nods.

"Well bring him up here," the first soldier says. Joe runs back to get him and Daniel straightens and I grab his arms and he comes back, pressing another kiss to my head.

The next few seconds is a bunch of shouting as Meddleson explains how his hearing is horrible because a German grenade went off right next to his head.

"Do you know a Private Ryan?!" Miller shouts.

"Who?"

"Private Ryan! James Ryan!"

"Jimmy Ryan?!"

"James, James Francis Ryan!"

"No, no, no, James FRANCIS Ryan!"

"Alright, give me a pencil, something to write on, something to write on. Quick, quick, come on, a pencil," Miller says and Upham goes over, taking out a pencil.

"Write this down, James Francis Ryan, question mark. Iowa, question mark. Do-do you know him? Does he know him? Read the message, look," Miller says.

Meddleson does and says, "Yeah, of course I know him sir."

"Do you know where he is?" Miller asks.

"Yeah, yeah, we missed our drop zone by about twenty miles; ended up way over by Bumville or some damn place. Him, me, and a couple of other guys were coming here to the rally point. Ran into a colonel, who was gathering up men to go to, uh… Ramelle, to babysit a bridge. That's the last I've seen of him sir," Meddleson explains.

"Great, great, thank you, thank you, write thank you. Read, read, thank you," Miller says as he walks back toward us.

"You're welcome!" Meddleson shouts and my lips twitch up in amusement.

Miller walks back toward us and we let him pass. Daniel and I are still exactly where we were next to the table and when the others start to come back, Daniel kisses my head again before letting go of my waist. He takes my hand, pulls me down to sit, and picks up his gun. The others reach us and sit around the table we used earlier. Miller takes out a map and kneels.

"Thank you Lieutenant," Miller says. "Ramelle. We're here-" Miller points on the map-"There, Ramelle is on the Mandarin River right here, just to the south of the west of us."

"Know anything about this bridge he was talking about Cap?" Horvath asks.

Miller takes out a compass and holds it in his left hand. "Yep. The target has always been Shareborg. We can't push on Paris until we take a deep water port and Rommel knows that."

I then notice that Miller's hand is shaking by how much the compass moves. I look at the others and see that they all notice it too.

"So he's going to try to get his armor across the Mandarin River anywhere he can. That way he can hit our invasion forces at the flank when we make the big right turn to Shareborg. That makes any village on the river with an intact bridge solid gold real estate," Miller explains. He then looks up and realizes all of us have noticed his hand and looks at it, then us again before closing the compass and putting the map away.

"Let's go."


	10. Chapter 10

As we walk toward Ramelle, Wade and I are stuck in the center, with the others forming a large diamond around us. Daniel is walking toward the right front and so I can see him but he can't see me without turning all the way around. Wade saw my reaction earlier to the dog tags and how Daniel reacted and has taken to holding my hand again. Daniel knows we're just friends, and doesn't mind someone being with me when he can't.

"Hey bumpkin, looks like you have some competition," Reiben yells.

Daniel just looks at us before looking at Reiben and rolling his eyes.

"Aw Reiben, you feeling jealous?" I ask and hold out my other hand toward him. "You want to hold my hand too, like I'm sure your mother still does."

Reiben glares at me before boldly running forward and grabs my hand, surprising me a little.

"Didn't see that one coming did you doll?" he asks grinning.

"No," I say scowling at his hand that's in mine.

"Unfortunately, I did Private. Back in formation," Miller barks and I smirk.

Reiben let's go and falls back, leaving me and Wade to smile at each other.

An hour later Mellish stops and says, "Captain."

Miller looks up from his map and looks at where Mellish is. There is a dead paratrooper on the ground. Everyone gets down and runs over to the tree line. They go and inspect the paratroopers and we realize it's more than one. They've been here for a while, you can tell by the state of decomp- and the smell.

Miller and Horvath go to the left hidden by the trees and we wait as he Miller instructed us. I move between Daniel and Upham, pulling Upham down beside me as he just stands there unsure of himself.

When they come back Upham asks, "What is it?"

"Machine gun, probably MG-42," Horvath answers.

"Jesus," Reiben mutters. "That what got those guys?"

"Anyone of em' our boy?" Mellish asks.

"Nah, their patches are 82nd," Miller dismisses. "So your luck's not that good."

"Yeah, I don't know how fast the rest of you betties are, but I'm thinking we detour this way, quick and quiet. The Krauts will never even know we were here," Reiben proposes. "So captain what I'm trying to say is why don't we just go round the thing?"

"I hear what you're saying, but we can't go round it," Miller answers, and I find myself tentatively agreeing with him. I look at Daniel and he just looks at me, not yet made a decision himself. He knows we should, but doesn't want to risk it either.

Then he seems to come to a conclusion. "I'm with Reiben on this one sir. I mean we left them 88's."

Miller in the mean time has taken off some of his gear. "The Air Force… the Air Force is not going to spend ordinance on one machine gun."

"Uh, Captain," Mellish says hesitantly. "We can still skip it and accomplish our mission. I mean, this isn't our mission sir?"

"Oh that's what you want to do Mellish? You just want to leave it here so they can ambush the next company that comes along?" Miller asks and I think he's being a little unfair.

"No sir, that's not what I'm saying. I'm simply saying, it seems like an unnecessary risk given our objective, sir," Mellish says, trying to pick his words carefully.

"Our objective is to win the war," Miller states.

"Sir, I just… I don't have a good feeling about this one," Reiben says.

Miller takes a second to answer. "And when was the last time you felt good about anything?"

I look down, none he's definitely being unfair, and not like himself. I get that he wants to attack this thing, but does he really have to say things like this?

He puts his helmet on, grabs his gun and runs back toward the bunker, leaving his extra gear. We all follow and take up positions near him. "All right, three-three runners with suppressing fire. Mellish, you hook to the right; I'll go up the middle. Who's going left?"

No one answers.

"Who's going left?" Miller asks, his voice rising.

Again, silence.

"Sir, if I could make a suggestion?" I ask.

"Why not, Dunne told me you were good with the plans," Miller says.

"I'd have Dan- Jackson, take up a position with cover, take out as many Krauts as possible until his position is discovered. Then the others should come out from a place opposite him, making them split their attention in two. One left, middle, and right with suppressing fire," I say. The others stare at me. "What? Is that really a bad idea?"

I don't ask this defensively. I ask as if I'm really worried it was a bad idea and they're all about to laugh at me.

"No, actually, that's… that's pretty good," Reiben says.

"Agreed," Miller says. "Jackson, take up a position, Lilly, Upham, go with him. I'll go middle, Mellish go right, we still need someone going left."

"I'll do it," Reiben sighs.

"I'll join you if they discover our position before we take it out," Daniel says.

I look at him and he just looks back, as if trying to reassure me that it'll all be okay.

"All right," Miller says. "Alright, when we advance, we keep pressure on him until he has to-to change out his barrels. Then we should be able to hit him from grenade range."

"Maybe I should go up the middle sir," Horvath suggests.

"With the way you run, I don't think so," Miller asks.

"Maybe I should go left sir," Horvath tries again.

"Maybe you should shut up," Miller snaps and I look away and toward Daniel. We look at each other thinking the same thing; the Captain is really not acting like himself right now.

"I'll do the base of fire," Miller says as everyone shrugs off their extra gear, to let them run faster. "Mags and clips we can reach him and extra grenades for the base runners. Jackson, Lilly, Upham, go."

Daniel nods and stands. I follow suit and motion at Upham. He scurries over to us and I grab his arm, pulling him after Daniel and me. Daniel finds a nice little place with some plant cover to disguise what little part the Krauts may be able to see. The others take up positions at the other end on the tree line and wait for Daniel to start firing.

A few seconds later he does. I use his other scope to see his shots and his first one is a dead hit to one of the Kraut's chests. He falls and the others look around confused. Daniel picks off another one easily and the Krauts start shouting something, preparing their guns and crouching behind them for some sort of cover as they try to figure out where the shooting is coming from. Daniel fires off another shot and clips a Kraut in the arm. But then the Krauts see us and fire in our direction. The dirt a few yards in front of us is kicked up by bullets and we duck. Daniel pulls back next to us and I hear the gunfire from the rest of the squad's weapons as they run out.

"Let's go," Daniel orders, dragging me, knowing I'll make sure to grab Upham. We run to where the others were and he starts firing again. He gets another kraut in an arm and then the area gets smoky from shells and grenades.

"Can't see anything," he mutters and turns to us. "Stay here."

I nod, albeit reluctantly and he leans forward to kiss my head before running out toward the others. I see him join Wade and Horvath before the smoke obscures him. There are many more shots from both sides and more explosions. I shift restlessly and jump at another explosion. God, I just want to see what's going on.

Then it all goes silent rather abruptly. Then we hear Miller's voice.

"Lilly, get up here we need you! Upham, grab the gear, we need extra water and dressings now!"

I bolt toward the, not waiting for Upham. If they need me than it means someone's hit. Please, please, God don't let it be Daniel.

I run through the smoke and find the squad sitting around someone. I immediately look for Daniel and he's sitting at the head of the group. Oh God, it's Wade. No, no, no, no, no.

I see them rip open Wade's shirt and sulfa packets and I jump into action. "Wait! Don't pour the sulfa yet! The bullets may still be in there and if they are you'll waste it!"

They all stop and look at me for what to do, all of them lost when it comes to this. I see two bullet wounds on Wade's torso.

"Horvath, put his feet up. Miller, Daniel, turn him over, check for exit wounds," I order and they all immediately do as I say as I kneel next to Wade, pushing Mellish out of the way. He scurries to the side and Upham appears from the smoke.

"You all apply pressure. Upham, we need your canteen and the extra dressings. Horvath, give him some morphine," I say and Mellish helps him get the stuff. I take out my supplies and shout, "Miller!"

"Yeah, I have one exit wound," he says as Horvath takes out the morphine and injects one vial into Wade's leg.

"Just one?" I ask.

"Yes," he says.

"Where, how big?" I ask as Mellish hands me a canteen and Upham the dressings, opened.

"About the size of an acorn in the small of his back," he answers and I hand him a dressing.

"Put this there, keep applying pressure and roll him onto his back when you're done, but don't stop with the pressure, keep your hand under him," I say as I take out a pair of tweezers. "Which on has an exit wound?"

Miller points and I order, "Put sulfa in that wound, and that one only, then put a dressing on it and apply pressure."

Daniel and Miller do as I say and I focus on the other wound. It's in his left shoulder, so nothing vital should be hit. "Upham, there's a needle and thread in my bag. Get them both out. Use a lighter to sterilize the needle. Wade, this is going to hurt, I'm sorry. Daniel, Miller, Horvath, Mellish, I need you to hold him down still."

Mellish sits beside me and helps pin him down as I take the tweezers and extract the bullet. Wade screams and tries to move but the others keep a firm grasp on him. Thirty agonizing seconds later I pull out the bullet and tell the others to pour sulfa in the wound, put a dressing on it and put pressure there.

"Upham, needle and thread," I say and Upham hands me the newly sterilized needle, which I quickly thread, practice has made me quick at it, but then I stop.

"What are you waiting for?" Reiben asks.

"She ca-can't stitch i-it until it s-stops bleeding," Wade answers.

"Wade, don't talk," I order and he shut his mouth. A minute later the bandages are completely soaked through and I have them change them out. The bleeding is slowing, the sulfa having helped and I tell Miller to carefully remove the dressing he's holding on the one wound on Wade's stomach. He does and we all feel a bit of relief seeing how the wound is for the most part not bleeding anymore. I quickly stitch it and tell Miller to clean around the wound very gently and to not touch the wound itself for it may make it start to bleed again. He takes a cloth and Upham hands him a canteen to wet it and starts to clean Wade's skin.

I then do the same with the wound Daniel is applying pressure to. I'm done in two minutes and Miller and Daniel clean around that wound the same way. The last wound on Wade's back is going to be the hard part. I stand and go around to Wade's other side. Miller scoots a little to the right to make space for me.

"I need you to lift him just enough for me to get my hands underneath him. We can't move him too much or the bleeding may start again," I say and they do just that. I can't see what I'm doing, but I can feel it. He's still bleeding pretty badly and I curse. I tell Upham to give me another dressing and he does.

"Daniel, pour the sulfa on the bandage, right in the middle," I command. He does, ripping another packet open and hurriedly pouring it onto the bandage. I then put the cloth under Wade and press it into the wound, trying to get the sulfa into it to slow the bleeding. Wade is shaking and I look at his face. I put the back of my hand to his cheek and feel he's cold and clammy, his breathing is fast and I realize he's in shock.

"Daniel, I need you to calm him down, get his breathing to slow down. Horvath, undo his belt, his shoes and Mellish take off your jacket and put it over him; we need to keep him warm," I instruct and again they all jump to obey.

"It's alright doc, you're gonna be fine. Lils is going to have you in top shape soon, alright? We're gonna get you some help, you're fine," Daniel is saying and I check Wade's back for the bleeding a minute later. It's slowed down enough for me to try to stitch it. I can't do much from this angle, but I manage to get a few stitches in there, enough to hold it together until we can get him some real help.

"Lilly," Daniel says and I look up to see Wade's eyes closed. Shit. I lean over, putting my ear to his mouth and feel his breath. I sigh in relief. "He's still breathing, probably just passed out. Someone get the plasma from his bag and give it to him, it might be from blood loss."

Reiben and Horvath do that and set up the needle to his arm. I'm passed another bandage and put it to Wade's back and check the other ones. One is covered in blood and I apply another one over it, not wanting to disturb the wound anymore seeing as how it might just start to bleed even more.

After I do this, there's a moment of calm as everyone just stays still, looking at Wade.

"Woah doc," Mellish says, looking at me and I meet his eyes. The adrenalin starts to fade, leaving me in a mix of worry, relief, and exhaustion.

"Now what?" Reiben asks.

"We shouldn't stay here," Miller says and looks at me.

"No, but we can't just move him," I say firmly. "Carrying him like this would most definitely cause him to start bleeding again. He's already lost too much blood for that."

Miller looks around, trying to come up with a plan.

"What if we made a stretcher?" Upham suggests and everyone looks at him.

I consider it. "Maybe, it's the only option I can think of to carry him safely."

"Do it," Miller says. "Reiben, Horvath, Upham, with me. Jacksons, stay with Wade."

I nod, I wasn't going to move an inch anyway. I watch the others make for the trees to start cutting branches to make a stretcher. I then take the canteen from earlier and take an empty sulfa packet. I wet it and start to wipe the blood from Wade's neck and chest. Daniel copies my movements and after we clean him as best as possible, I hold the canteen over the grass to pour over Daniel's hands, to clean them. He does the same for me and we wipe our hands on our pants. The others come back a few minutes later with a stretcher. They put it next to Wade and I instruct the other on how to lift him.

"We need to do it as quick, but gently as possible. Don't jostle him too much and when he hits the stretcher it needs to be softly or his back could start bleeding again," I direct and they all nod. They do it quickly, yet delicately as possible. Something then catches my eyes.

"Daniel, your arm," I say.

He, and everyone else, looks at it. Daniel pulls at the cloth a sees it's been ripped by a bullet. There is a small patch of blood darkening the fabric around it. "It's just skimming the arm sir."

"Get it patched up," Miller orders, but I was already rushing over to him. He pulls his jacket, unbuttoning the various snaps on it. I pull the on the bottom of it to get it un-tucked enough that he'll be able to get his jacket off. This way he can get his arms out of the sleeves and it hangs around his waist, leaving him in his t-shirt. I can see the graze and a little bit of blood dribbles out of the wound.

The others are surrounding Wade, leaving us mostly alone. Seeing Daniel like this, hurt, bleeding, even if only a little, makes a spike of fear go through me. Just a few inches to the left and the bullet would've gone through his chest. I almost lost him.

My hands shake as I take in a deep breath and try to get out another dressing. Hands suddenly appear over mine, stopping their movement. I watch them as Daniel moves our hands away from my vest and toward himself. He lifts them up and kisses the back of both my hands.

"I'm alright darlin'," he says.

I let out a shaky breath and say, "Barely, you got lucky."

I try to calm myself down, looking everywhere but him, and Wade.

"Lilly, look at me. Darlin'… sweetheart," he says and this gets me to finally look in his direction. "I am fine, just a scratch."

I nod a few times before suddenly hugging him with a strength I rarely use, yet find myself using much more often since I found him again. He hugs me back just as tightly and after a few seconds just taking him the comfort and safety of his warmth, I pull back; I still have to treat his wound.

I quickly clean and wrap up his graze and he just stands there, barely even noticing the pain. When we're done I look at Miller and give him a nod. Daniel fixes his clothing and gets ready to go. Upham got my gear together, Reiben getting Daniel's, and they're all ready to go. Upham helps me get mine on and we join the others.

"Horvath, Reiben, you take the stretcher first," Miller orders, rubbing his hands on his pants, trying to get the last of the blood off. "We're going to make a stop before we continue on to Ramelle. There's a town not far from here- the 29th should reach it first before Ramelle. He'll get help faster there."

No one is happy about soon leaving Wade with a group of strangers, even if they are our allies, but everyone also knows it's his best chance. Reiben and Horvath pick up the stretcher and we follow Miller to the east, where this town soon comes into view.


	11. Chapter 11

Reaching the town takes only a few hours. We reach the town as the sun starts to set and Miller sends Reiben, Daniel, and Upham ahead to make contact with the Americans here. When Upham returns with Reiben, Horvath and Reiben pick up the stretcher again and start moving Wade into the town. We're directed immediately to the building where all the wounded are being put. To my surprise, there is another nurse that came with me on the plane earlier.

"Davies!" I say.

"Jackson!"

She runs over to me, moving around soldiers sitting on the floor, and lunges at me to give me a hug.

"I was worried, I haven't heard anything since you left," she says.

"Well, that typically happens when communication lines are broken," I say smiling.

"I know," she says, "I guess I was just used to working with you, having you there."

"Well, I'm not staying, but someone else will be staying with you," I say, walking over to the others who are gathered around Wade. "This is Wade, the field medic for Captain Miller's squad. He was hit pretty bad. I did all I could, but he needs a real hospital. We have a mission to complete, and your relief will be coming soon, and he'll be able to get real help."

"Don't worry, I'll keep a special eye on him," Davies promises.

I take her hand. "Thank you."

She nods and moves between the squad to get to Wade. She tells them to move him and they follow her orders. They all linger as Davies and I check on Wade one more time before Miller sighs and tells us it's time to go. You can tell he doesn't want to leave as much has the rest of us, but he's the captain, and so has to make us move since no one else will.

The men all walk by Wade, giving him a light pat on the shoulder, quickly whispering a goodbye.

We leave the town swiftly, going up the steep slope away from the buildings, and away from Wade. The mood of the squad is solemn, all of our thoughts with Wade. Miller lets us stay out of formation as we exit the town, for the Allies control it. After we crest the hill however, he orders us into formation. Now, instead of being in the middle with Wade, I'm in the middle alone.

It's only another hour before Miller suddenly shouts, "Half-track cover!"

We all duck down, hiding behind the tall grass for cover. Then, the noise Miller must've heard earlier gets louder. It's a half-track tank. It rolls by just a few yards from us. We all stay still in the grass, not even trying to get a look in case they see us. I look to my right at Reiben, who is looking toward Sarge and the Captain. I then look at Upham, who was walking near me. He's on the ground too, looking very nervous, but stays where he is, looking around, trying to get an idea of where everyone else is. I get his attention and press a finger to my lips, indicating for him to stay close to the ground. He nods and lies flat on the ground still. Then there's a huge blast.

"Who's doing the shooting?" Horvath asks, looking at everyone. "Who's doing the shooting?"

Then there's a deafening explosion and fire erupts from the tank, a huge billow of smoke above it. The tank stops, fire on the front of it and the top hatch opens. Miller straightens up on his knees, shooting at the Krauts that try to exit the tank. Horvath and Mellish join him and they get back down after the Krauts are down.

Miller gets up and runs behind Upham and I, touching Reiben's shoulder as he barks out an order. "Get ready to move on that left flank. Take their left flank!"

"Hold on, make sure they're down," Reiben says. I shuffle over to Upham, pulling him by an arm and staying low. Daniel moves over to us, grabbing me and drags us both behind Horvath and Mellish. We follow them toward the tank as Miller goes around the other side of the tank. I shake Daniel's hand loose and instead grip the back of his jacket so he can use his gun.

Then there are more gunshots, and a column of smoke from the other side of the tank. The shots echo and when it all goes quiet except for the wind.

"101st, we're coming out!" someone shouts and the squad turns their guns on where the voices came from. Three men rise from the grass and Miller waves us around.

"That was a recon element second SS. We've been expecting a probe, that must've been it," one of the men says. We all converge on the tank, most of them leaning against it from the ground, but Daniel and I jump onto the tank, sitting on it.

"Captain Miller, Charlie Company, Second Rangers," our captain introduces himself.

"Corporal Henderson, Easy Company, 501st," the man who spoke earlier introduces himself.

"Ryan, 1st of the 506th," the one with the bazooka says and I look at Daniel, wondering if I heard that right. Ryan?

Daniel nods at me, confirming he heard it as well and we look back to the captain.

"PFC Tommy, 3rd of the 506th," the last soldier says.

"James Francis Ryan?" Miller asks, focusing entirely on the one who introduced himself as Ryan.

"Yes sir, how'd you guess that?"

Miller doesn't answer; he just turns around and looks at us.

We accompany the three men back to Ramelle, walking through the ruined town. Daniel walks next to me, taking my hand in his and walking closer when we come up to a few others.

"Looks like you got hit pretty hard," Miller comments.

"Yes sir," Henderson says. "Small unit action. They came in; beat the hell out of us with 88s."

Henderson looks at us, his eyes drawn to how Daniel and I are holding hands before averting his gaze back to Miller. I look at Daniel, but he didn't see Henderson looking at us. But he somehow seems to feel my gaze on him, because he looks straight at me. He gives me a small smile, letting go of my hand to wrap his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. The rest of the squad behind us don't even blink, but I can see a few of the other men stare for a seconds before looking away. They're probably staring half at the fact I'm a girl as they are that Daniel and I seem to be together.

"Tell you what sir, if you're our relief I'm going to file a complaint," Henderson says as we reach the bridge.

"I wouldn't blame you," Miller comments. "Who's your CO?"

I watch Ryan, keeping an eye on him as we stop at the inside of the bridge. Daniel and I lean backward against the side of it. I can't even feel the cold of the stone through my many layers, yet I can feel for some reason the warmth of Daniel's arm from where it's on my shoulders.

"Would've been Captain Jennings sir, 'fraid the best we can muster up tight now is a corporal," Henderson answers. "So what are you guys all about?"

"We're here for him," Miller says, pointing at Ryan who is taking a drink from his canteen. "Ryan."

"Me sir?" Ryan asks.

Miller just waves him over and he hands his canteen to someone, following Miller further up the bridge past us.

"James Francis Ryan, of Iowa?" Miller asks, not wanting another mistake.

"Yes sir, Payton, Iowa, that's correct," Ryan answers. "What is this about?"

"You're brothers were killed in combat," Miller says, not warning him at all, but that's probably best. Sugar coating isn't going to make it hurt any less.

Ryan looks down, and you can see him trying not to cry. "Which-which ones?"

"All of em'," Miller answers gravely.

Ryan just stands there for a moment, looking at him, trying to comprehend what he's been told. I shift closer to Daniel, trying to push images of Miller telling me that Daniel was the one who was dead. Daniel shifts his grip on me, hugging me tighter into his side. I turn into him, not wanting to see Ryan's grief, putting the side of my face on his chest and closing my eyes.

"Uh, on… on the level?" Ryan asks.

Miller sighs. "Yeah, I'm afraid so. Uh… you want to take some time with this. Is there someplace you want to go?"

There's silence, then one of the soldiers behind us asks, "What's this all about?"

"Ryan lost his brothers."

"Which ones?"

"All of em'."

"You came all the way out here to tell me that?" Ryan asks.

"Well you're, you're going home," Miller tells him. "Our orders are to bring you back."

"Bring me back?"

There's a moment of silence except for boots on the stone cobble. "Corporal Henderson, hate to leave you even more shorthanded, but… orders are orders. Uh, any communication about when you're gonna be relieved up here?"

"Sir there's no way to tell, we have no idea what's happening south of us," Henderson says.

"I have my orders too sir," Ryan speaks up. "And they don't include me abandoning my post."

"I understand that, but this changed things."

"I don't see that it does sir," Ryan protests and I look up from Daniel's chest.

"The Chief of Staff for the United States army says it does," Miller states firmly, starting to get a little annoyed.

"Sir our orders are to hold this bridge at all costs. Now our planes in the 82nd have taken out every bridge except the Merderand with the exception of two; one at Villon, and this one here. If we let the Germans take it we're gonna lose our foothold and have to displace," Henderson informs us.

"Private," Miller says as soon as Henderson is finished, "Your outfit wants to stay, that's one thing. But your party's over here."

"Sir I can't leave until at least reinforcements get here-"

"You've got three minutes to gather your gear," Miller overpowers Ryan's voice.

"Sir, what about them, I mean there's barely enough of-"

"Hey asshole," Reiben cuts him off. "One of our guys already died trying to find you, alright? And another may not make it."

Ryan just looks at us and Daniel and I shuffle forward a little as the rest of the squad takes a step forward after Reiben.

"Sir?" Ryan looks at Miller.

"That's right," Miller confirms.

Ryan walks over to us and asks, "What were their names?"

"Irwin Wade and Adrian Caparzo," Mellish answers.

"Wade and…?" Ryan asks, conflicting emotions on his face, the prominent one being shock.

"Caparzo," Mellish sighs. "Wade is hanging on, for now."

Ryan looks away, walking over to the side behind Miller. "It doesn't make any sense sir. Why-why me, why do I deserve to go? Why not any of these guys? They all fought just as hard as me."

"Is that what they're supposed to tell your mother, when they send her another folded American flag?" Miller asks, laying on the guilt.

"Tell her that when you found me, I was here and I was with the only brothers I had left, and there was no way I was going to desert them. I think she'll understand that. There's no way I'm leaving this bridge," Ryan says and walks around Miller, back to where his outfit is. I close my eyes; we came all this way and he doesn't want to leave.

Ryan sits behind the sand bags and other guys come to him, one kneeling in front of him and another rubbing the top of his head as they try to comfort him.

Miller walks away across the bridge and Horvath runs to catch up. I look at Daniel, who has his own expression of concern and anger. Reiben's is all anger, and he turns to us, fuming, before sitting on the wall. Mellish sits next to him, talking to him quietly as Upham just stays off to the side by himself.

"Come on," Daniel says, taking my hands and turning me toward where Ryan is. We walk past them and to the nearest shelled out house. He picks up an overturned table and sits on it, dragging me toward him so I'm standing between his legs. He then releases my hand and puts his arms around my lower back, pulling me up against him. I put my hands on his chest and fiddle with the top button on his jacket.

"What do you think the captain is going to decide?" I ask.

Daniel looks at the others. "Probably gonna high tail it out of here, with or without Ryan. Or we're staying until their relief shows up. If we leave now though, we'd have to tie Ryan up and carry him."

I actually give a little laugh at that and so does Daniel, just imagining attempting to do that.

"I doubt Ryan's outfit will just stand by and let us do that," I comment and Daniel tilts his head.

"Probably not," he says. "How are you, with all of this?"

"You mean with Wade?" I ask, looking at him knowingly. He nods and I ask, "Shouldn't I be asking you that? You knew him better than I did, were with him longer."

He looks away and says, "He's not the first we've lost."

"You mean…?"

"Not Caparzo either," he says and I nod, of course Caparzo wasn't either, too many of men have died in this war for Daniel not to have known a few of them.

I slide my hands up his chest to his shoulders, shifting my feet forward to press my chest against his. "I'm sorry."

His arms move across my back so they're wrapped tightly around me. He puts his face into my neck, breathing in deeply.

"Wade's gonna be fine," he says, almost as if to convince himself as much as me.

"Yeah, I'm sure he will," I say. I wait a few seconds and then whisper, "And you?"

He leans back to see my face. I divert my eyes down when he looks at me and swallow.

"I'm sorry, I-I shouldn't have…" I say and he pushes a piece of hair that got free from my braid behind my right ear.

"Sweetheart," he whispers. "I am going to do everything I can to make sure we both get home."

I nod and he lifts my chin to make me look at him. "Lilly, this is dangerous, many aren't gonna get home. But I promise I'll try my best, just like I'm sure you will."

I just nod and he pulls me into a hug. "And if we get home…?"

"Then I can finish that back porch, help mom with the farm," he whispers.

"I could get a job as a nurse, or a teacher," I suggest.

"And maybe, one day, we could… try for another baby," he says. I tense a little and he pulls back again.

"What if… what if it happens again?" I ask completely terrified of that possibility.

"Then it happens, and it won't be your fault just like it wasn't before," he says earnestly, knowing I still harbor some guilt.

I take a slow breath, and nod slowly. "I'd… I'd like that."

He smiles and kisses me slowly, lovingly and happily.

"Hey, you two!" Horvath shouts. "Break it up, come on, Captain's decided we're gonna stay until their relief shows up. He's laying out the plan."


	12. Chapter 12

Horvath backs out of the open room and I take a step back as Daniel stands. He grabs one of my hand, and I latch onto that arm with both hands.

"I gotta find a good place up high," Daniel says, turning back to me. He puts a hand on the side of my face, kissing my lips softly and putting another light kiss on my temple before he walks away to my left into the rubble.

I start walking toward the other, stopping between Henderson and Horvath.

"…where all the rubble makes a bit of a bottleneck," Miller is saying as I reach them, stepping in between Horvath and Henderson.

"Disable em',?" Ryan asks.

"If we can, make that tank a sixty ton roadblock. We do that, we have a fighting chance at the flanks," Miller answers.

"Yes sir, that good's, split em' up, don't let em' mass," Henderson comments.

"Hit them hard as we can, one on one, fall back to the bridge," Miller says, facing said bridge as he says this.

"Machine gun on the move down here, number two up high somewhere to piss something bad on their heads," Horvath says.

"That would be the idea," Miller remarks, walking past us toward Daniel.

"Jackson," he says. "If we can, I can get you up in that bell tower."

"Yes sir," Daniel says as Miller stops right next to him.

"Give you a little company if you need it," Miller says and Daniel instantly looks at me, making me smile a little.

Miller sees this and says, "Not her, I have something else for her to do."

I look at Miller, he hasn't told me this, but Daniel just sighs and looks down at the ground before saying, "I'd say uh… a thirty with about a thousand rounds would be okay."

Miller looks at Henderson, who looks at another soldier. "Parker, job opportunity."

"Yeah, well it's not the worst idea ever Captain," Reiben starts as Miller walks back toward the main street. I wait until Daniel reaches me. He grabs for my hand as I go for his and we follow the others as Reiben keeps talking. "…but it's just that everything depends on getting this tank down this main road for us to knock out, right? So how the hell do you plan on doing that?"

"Reiben's right, as our esteemed colleague from the airborne pointed out what we got here are a bunch of spitwads. So how do we stop the tank, if we get it to commit?" Horvath asks. Miller stops and looks around at all the buildings, trying to determine the best positions for his men.

"Get our rabbit a chase," Miller says, pointing at a type of vehicle. "We could hit the tank in the tracks."

"Yeah, but with what?" Ryan asks.

Miller shuffles his feet, and no one says anything, all looking to him for an answer. "Well we could try a sticky bomb."

Daniel looks up from his gun in confusion.

"Sticky bomb sir?" Ryan asks.

"Captain, those things are highly unstable," I say.

"Well, desperate times…" Miller trails off.

"Desperate measures, yes, but we'd be more likely to blow ourselves up than the tank tracks," I say.

"So we do it carefully, and quickly," Miller says.

"Yeah, and make the fuses extra long, don't light it up until you're practically right there," I say.

"Sir, ma'am, are you two making that up?" Henderson asks skeptical.

"No, it's in the field manual. You can take a look if you want to," Miller says defensively.

"Well, sir, we seem to be out of field manuals," Ryan says. "Perhaps you can enlighten us."

I see Daniel trying to stifle a smile and knock his shoulder with mine. He looks at me, both of us smiling now, and Miller interrupts our silent conversation.

"Alright, you have some demolition don't you? Some TNT or composition B?" Miller asks.

Henderson points behind Miller and we look at another soldier. "That sir is the one thing we got plenty of. I got that bridge wired with enough composition B to blow it twice."

"Alright," Miller says, brushing by me as he walks toward the bridge. "You can spare some then. You take a standard issue GI sock, cramp it with as much comp B as it can hold, rig up a simple fuse, then you coat the whole thing with axel grease. That way when you throw it, it should stick. It's a bomb that sticks, it's a sticky bomb. Come up with a better way to knock off the tracks of a tank I'm all ears."

"This is good, now we got to surrender our socks," Reiben snarks.

Some of Henderson's men get into a rowboat and take some of the comp B off of the bridge, and Reiben pulls it up. He hands it to Horvath who stuffs it in the socks, then hands it to the guys who coat it with axel grease, and then who put the fuse in it.

"Lilly," Miller says, waving me over. Ryan and another paratrooper are with him and we walk back onto the bridge. "For being the best we can do, that forwarding machine gun is not in a terrible firing position. And this position right here, this is the Alamo."

Miller waves toward a ruined building. "They push us back this far, last man alive blows the bridge."

"Yeah, we only got a thirty second delay on that fuse, so let everyone know that if you are that last man, you better hurry your ass off or you're not gonna be alive long."

"And Lilly, this is where you come in," Miller says, turning to look at me. "We're going to be displacing and running all over this place. That means, we won't be able to carry a lot of ammo. So you and Upham are going to have to get us that ammo as we need it."

"And that ammo is going to be at the Alamo," I conclude.

"Yeah, you have two thirty cals, one in the bell tower with Jackson, and the other with Mellish," Miller tells me. "They'll shout if you need more ammo."

"Captain?" Ryan says. "Where am I during all of this?"

"No more than two feet away from me," Miller says, walking past Ryan as he unbuttons his jacket. "And that's not negotiable."

"Lilly, go to Mellish, he's with Upham. Get some ammo and get ready," Miller says and stops, putting a hand in front of me to stop me too. The others keep walking when Miller stares at them and then he looks back at me. "Lilly, get some ammo, then while we wait… you can, um, go wherever you want."

I nod slowly, understanding what he's trying to get at. "Thank you sir."

He just sighs, looks down, and nods. "Go."

"Yes sir," I say, walking around him and down the bridge. I find Mellish and Upham walking carefully through the rubble.

When I approach them, Mellish nods toward me and keeps talking to Upham. "Hey Upham."

"Yes?"

"Listen to me, alright?"

"Yeah," Upham says, taking a quick drag at his cigarette.

"You listening?" Mellish asks just to make sure and I smile in amusement.

"Yes," Upham says, more strongly this time.

"Alright, we're gonna be displacing and falling back like crazy sons of bitches," Mellish says, reaching up and taking his cigarette from between his lips. "So you have to be Jonny on the spot with the ammo, or we're dead."

I raise an eyebrow as how he isn't speaking to me too but Mellish just looks at me and whispers, "You'll be fine."

I smirk and Mellish says, "You understand that?"

"Jonny on the spot," Upham repeats.

"Yeah, you alright?" Mellish asks, knowing Upham is nervous- it is rather obvious.

Upham blows out smoke and says, "Yeah, yeah."

Mellish removes Upham's helmet, and I take off mine. Mellish makes Upham hold his and Upham starts to tell us a story. "You know when we were shipping out of England, suppliers starting handing out cartons of cigarettes; and I said, 'No thank you, I don't smoke'."

Mellish puts a few things in Upham's helmet and I follow suit, putting a few grenades and clips in it. Upham shakes the cigarette in his fingers and whispers, "I don't smoke."

Mellish pulls out a huge roll of 30 cal ammo. "Quite a situation, huh?"

He places the ammo around Upham's neck, and I pull another necklace of 30 cal out of the box, wrapping it around my own neck.

"Yeah, fucked up, beyond all… recognition," Mellish emphasizes, trying to hint to Upham about FUBAR. Daniel told me about how Upham didn't know what that was. How does he not know? Even I know, and I was just a nurse.

Mellish looks at him, waiting for it to click and it does just a few seconds later. "FUBAR."

We smile and Mellish slaps a hand between his neck and shoulder.

"Yeah, well, it's gonna be a real show, huh?" Mellish comments. "Yeah, okay."

Mellish walks away and Upham follows him, dropping something out of his helmet.

"Take it easy," Mellish says, waiting for Upham to catch up. "You, Lilly, go to your husband, would you? We all know you want to."

I mock glare at him and turn away, walking carefully through the stone and wood rubble to the bell tower. I see Daniel and Parker looking out from the side of it. Daniel is sitting on the side of the tower's top wall, one leg hanging off as he smokes a cigarette.

I run past Horvath and Reiben, who is grinning at me as he sees me reach the entrance of the bell tower. I run up the steps, and it's a good thing I've been walking so much lately, otherwise I'd be more out of breath when I reach the top of the tower.

Daniel and Parker are watching the trapdoor when I open it, so they must've heard the ammo necklace around my neck. Daniel walks the few steps over to me and reaches for my hand, pulling me up.

Parker picks up a pair of binoculars and scans the horizon, giving us some semblance of privacy. Daniel doesn't let go of my hand, just switches the hand he's holding it with. We walk over to where he was sitting and he pushes himself back up to sit on the wall. He leans against the pillar and reaches for me. I give him my hands and he turns me around before grabbing my waist and lifting me onto the wall. I scoot back toward him and he moves his right leg over the wall, letting it hang. He puts his arms around my front, hugging me to his chest. I rest my head back against his shoulder and I close my eyes as he gives me a kiss to my head.

"Everything is gonna be fine darlin'," he whispers.

I don't say anything; knowing he's just saying this to try to make me relax, not convince me that it's really going to be alright. He and I both know that he can't promise anything, and he's not trying to. He's just trying to reassure me that no matter what happens, it will be all right in the end… even if it takes a while.

"Just… just be careful, please?" I beg.

"Of course, you be careful too," he says. "I'll be watching you."

He places another kiss to the crown of my head, and I smile, feeling a little better knowing I'll have Daniel watching me from the tower.

"I'll try," I say. "Although, running though the middle of a battle sort of implies getting shot."

He pulls me tighter against him. "Run fast."

His voice is hard and I turn my face into his neck. He moves his right arm up to rub my neck with his hand. He breathes out long and hard and I grasp the arm across my chest to my neck. "I will, I'll run as fast as I can, and you'll see me from here. And you'll need some 30 cal, which Upham and I will be coming to give to you."

The tension leaves his body bit by bit, but not entirely. We spend a few minutes in silence before I say, "Do you know what I felt, and thought, we I found out I was pregnant?"

I can feel him look at me.

"At first there was shock, I just-just couldn't believe it. Then, a minute later, when it settled in, I felt happiness, so much joy. I went to tell you, and then remembered you weren't there anymore. The happiness was covered with sadness, then worry. I knew you wouldn't be… upset, or angry at hearing we were going to have a baby. I was worried because I knew… because I knew- with all the men dying in this war- that there was a very real chance you would never get to meet your son or daughter. I could send you pictures, tell you about him or her, but… what if you-you died before you could come home and meet them in person, hold them, play with them, watch them grow up."

Daniel doesn't say anything. My voice is a little thick but tears aren't threatening to fall. He trails his hand across my throat to my jaw, gently pushing a little at it until I turn my head. He's looking at me with concern and warmth. He strokes my cheek with his thumb and says, "It's alright darlin'. It's gonna be alright."

"Dear God, I hope you're right," I say. "Please be right."

"I will be, everything's gonna be fine," he says before his eyes flick to my lips and I lean up and capture his in an almost desperate kiss. When I relax, lying back against him, our kiss breaks. He moves his hand a little to wipe away a single tear that managed to escape. I take a deep breath and he holds me tight as I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to calm myself down. God, why am I like this so much lately?

"Sorry," I mutter. He leans down, placing his chin on my shoulder, his nose pressing against my jaw.

"It's alright," he says sincerely. "You know I don't mind."

"Not when it happens every now and again," I say and he chuckles.

"I don't mind ever."

I take another deep breath and Parker suddenly clears his throat.

"Sorry lovebirds, but we got incoming," he says. I sit up and Daniel nudges me so I jump down. He follows and goes over to Parker, taking the binoculars from him. He takes a look himself and curses under his breath. I then feel a slight shaking in the tower- tanks.

"Lilly," Daniel says, lowering the binoculars. "You need to get down there."

He turns his head to look at me and can see how he doesn't want me to leave. But we both know I have too; the others will need to ammo I am responsible for getting it to them.

I step up to him. "You'll see me soon."

I give him a quick peck on the lips and start for the trap door, but he grabs my hand and pulls me back to him. This surprises me and I fall into him, but he catches me, snaking a hand around my waist and pulls me upward. His mouth is suddenly on mine, and this kiss is not so simple. It makes me lightheaded, the heat from his body spreading into mine. I hardly have time to react before he's pulling away. I'm still slightly out of it, and when I open my eyes, I see how he's smirking just a little.

My eyes find Parker, who is openly gaping at us, and I blush a little, looking at the ground.

Daniel pulls me back to him and whispers, "I love you."

"I love you too," I say and he kisses me again, not as deeply as before, but not chastely either. When he backs away, a feeling of sadness washes over me, and… foreboding.

This isn't going to be the last time I see him, it isn't. Right?


	13. Chapter 13

I run down the stairs of the bell tower, being careful on a few of the more unstable and broken steps. I actually have a rifle now; one of the ones that belonged to a soldier that was killed here when the paratroopers first took the town.

I run to the Captain as he looks up at Daniel in the tower, looking at his hand signals about what's coming.

"Disperse, you know what to do!" Miller shouts. I reach them and hear the captain then tell Reiben to get on the rabbit, which Reiben does immediately. "Mellish and Henderson lock and load! Everybody check your ammo!"

I run over to Mellish and Henderson, checking if they need any ammo, but they tell me they're good for right now. I join Upham at the Alamo, one of the soldiers telling us to hustle up. We grab some more ammo, as much as we can carry in our pockets and around our necks, and go back to the front line.

"Corporal Upham, Lieutenant Jackson, we don't have a 30 cal machine gun at this position. Either Mr. Mellish, or Mr. Jackson in the bell tower need that," Captain Miller says. Upham goes to get up but I pull him back down.

"Daniel is fine, he's got enough, and I already checked with Mellish and he has enough too," I say. "Upham, listen to me. I want you to stick with Mellish, do what he says, I'll cover Daniel with the ammo."

Upham nods rapidly and I look closer at him. His breathing is unsteady and he's shaking slightly. "Upham, calm down. Relax, slow your breathing. Stick with Mellish as much as you can, follow his orders… you'll be fine. Just run fast, shoot if you have to."

He nods again, taking a deep breath before getting up and running over to Mellish and Henderson. I look at the captain and Ryan as Reiben returns, jumping off the rabbit and running to our position.

"They're turning the infantry cap'n, I don't know if they took the bait though," Reiben reports.

We all turn and look over the little hill we're taking cover behind. They all raise their guns and we just wait; hearing the tanks moving and coming closer. Eventually we hear shouting, and then men followed by a tank.

"Panzers didn't take the bait," Miller mutters and looks up at the bell tower. Daniel signs a few more things, I don't understand but the others do. "Infantry's moving to the left."

"Half-track just went by with about twenty troops," Ryan reports.

"Lilly, get to the bell tower, stay at the bottom unless someone calls for you," Miller orders and I run for the tower.

I stay at the base of it, running into it through a wall that was half blown up, leaving a decent sized hole in it.

The tanks get louder and the shaking starts to move the lighter pieces of rubble. Then there's a huge explosion, a smoke cloud coming from the main street. Then the shooting starts, both from above me and from the others across the street. I can hear Miller's voice above the gunfire but just barely; the noise is almost deafening. Then there's another explosion and I see Mellish and Henderson running down the street, with another cloud of smoke spreading. Mellish calls for Upham, who follows them until they disappear around a building.

I stay where I am like Miller ordered and a minute later another machine gun starts firing again closer by to me than before.

"Get down! Get down!" Miller shouts and I instinctively crouch down and cover my head. I'm nowhere near the explosion, but I can hear it, and feel it under my feet.

"Lilly! Lilly! Ammo!" Mellish shouts and I stand up straight. I grip my gun and peer out of the building. There are a few guys but it looks like Parker is taking care of them. I run out and toward Miller and the others. Miller, Reiben, and some of the paratroopers are going to a tank they just knocked the tracks off of. Miller pushes Ryan down and when I reach a few feet behind him, I freeze. The tank is now pointing toward us and Reiben yells our names. I reach down and grab Ryan as Reiben runs for us. Reiben takes Ryan's other arm and we run to the left. The tank fires a shot, the corner of a building imploding as its hit. The dust and smoke in the air makes me cough a little and I see Reiben push Ryan down and sit on his back.

Miller runs over, yelling Ryan's name as Reiben tries to calm Ryan down, who is shouting for Reiben to get off of him.

"Are you alright?" Miller asks.

"Yeah, we're fine too captain, thanks," Reiben says sarcastically.

I then remember that Mellish was calling me, that's why I ran this way, and get to my feet. I run around the corner and see a group of Germans pushing some sort of machine gun.

"Captain! Reiben!" I shout. Reiben comes up behind me and curses when he sees what I see.

"Captain, 40 mil!" Reiben shouts. "Get those men off the tank!"

Miller follows his advice and yells at the paratroopers to get down. Most of the men manage to get off the tank before they're fired upon, but some aren't so lucky.

The 40 mil then turns on us and we displace, Reiben grabbing me and dragging me along, but I shake free of him and head for the bell tower, hearing the 30 cal on the top has stopped firing and has been taken off the wall. They must've run out of ammo. I'm closer to them than I am Mellish. I hope Upham will reach them in time. I run toward the tower but a few troops come up and I run to the right, taking cover behind a broken wall. It leads to a building and I run through it to the other side. There are a few men and a tank right around the corner and I notice the men being picked off. Daniel.

But then the tank's barrel rises, pointing at the top of the tower. My heart stops and I don't even think, I just run for the tank. I have a grenade and I take the pin off, tossing into the gap the gunners use to see their targets. It explodes inside, but the force of the explosion makes me lose my balance and I trip. I fall to the ground and hit my head on a sharp piece of stone. I scramble to my feet and reach the building to the left and a hand pulls me into the window. A few glass shards fall out of the window as I fall through it. I hit the floor and I'm pulled to my feet. I realize its Reiben and then a huge explosion resounds through the town.

I look out the window and I can't breathe when I see the top of the tower has collapses, smoke rising from it. Tears come to my eyes and Reiben shakes me.

"Lilly, he's gone! I'm sorry, but we're not done yet!" he shouts. I wipe my eyes with the back on my hand and nods. He's right; the others still need my help. Mellish, and Henderson- they'll be overrun without more ammo. They could die too.

I pick up my rifle and run to the door, looking outside before making a dash to where I see Upham is. He's slowly making his way up some steps, looking utterly terrified. As I get inside the first floor of the building, I hear crashes and screaming from upstairs. It's Mellish, and he's calling Upham's name, my name, and even Reiben's.

I push past Upham and run up the stairs. There's a body lying before the doorway and I look around the corner to see Mellish on the ground, trying to keep a Kraut from putting a knife in his chest. I don't hesitate; I take up my gun and fire at the German's back. He flails a little and Mellish pushes him off him. I lower my gun, breathing heavily, and Mellish collapses on his back in relief.

"Thanks Lils," he says and gets up.

I nod and swallow. "Need more 30 cal?"

"Yeah," he says and goes to the machine gun, holding out his hand for it. "We need to displace, this flank is about to fall."

I nod and he brushes past me down the stairs, carrying the huge gun. I follow close behind him and grab Upham by his jacket, roughly pulling him after us.

We run to where Miller is dug in and Mellish sets up the 30 cal. Miller threads the ammo as Ryan uses some sort of ammunition and turns them into grenades.

"What ammo you need?" I yell over the gunfire.

"Bangeler," he shouts back.

I open one of my jacket pocket's and take out three clips. "That's all I got."

He takes it, quickly loading his gun and starting to fire again. I stuff the ammo he was using earlier as grenades in my now empty pocket; we may need it later.

"Panzer shrat!" Ryan yells and takes one of the ammo-grenades and uses it to blow up two more Germans.

A noise then comes from above us and we all look to see the front end of a tank. We scramble out of the hole and run for it before the tank crushes us. We run through the rubble, with bullets flying around us, and hitting the ground near our feet. We reach the sandbags and barbwire at the entrance to the bridge and I run with Ryan across it. We fire behind sandbags for cover, managing to hit a few that fall into the water. We're at the Alamo, so we just have to reach over to get ammo now. Miller and Mellish join us and the captain reaches for the detonator for the bridge. I see some blood on his hand and the medic part of me wants to find out where he was hit, but I know he won't let me.

"We're blowing the bridge, get out!" Miller shouts.

"Displace, come on!"

"Hurry up Sarge! Come on Brooklyn!"

"Reiben, Horvath, come on!" I scream.

Ryan, Mellish and I continue to fire, trying to give Horvath and Reiben some sort of covering fire. They reach us and Reiben is helping Horvath run. He puts him down and Miller yells, "Sarge! Mike, are you alright?!"

"I just got the wind knocked out of me," Horvath responds but I see a large amount of blood on his chest. I crawl over to him, keeping my head down and see he's been shot multiple times in the chest and stomach. I take out some bandages and give him a dose of morphine.

"Get them out of here, we're gonna blow the bridge!" Miller yells and Ryan runs to us, with Mellish providing covering fire. We help Horvath to his feet and practically carry him away from the bridge. But we're then knocked off our feet. I can feel bits of stone and concrete hit my back and helmet, as my ears are overloaded by the sound of an enormous explosion.

The cut I got earlier in Neuville has opened again, and blood is trailing down my face. I get up on my hands and knees, my ears screaming. I lean on the sandbags to get up and Mellish comes to my right, pulling me with him behind more sandbags.

Reiben is firing his BAR, shouting at the captain from my other side and I crawl back to the Sarge. I turn his face and see he's dead. Reiben dashes over to Miller and pulls him down before starting to fire again with Mellish on the Germans pushing onto the bridge.

I run over to Ryan, pushing him over so he's behind a short wall instead of out in the open like he was. I see the captain stand, then fall to his knees as he gets shot. Oh my god, Miller just got shot. Reiben moves to grab him, but I catch him and pull him down, not wanting him to get shot too.

I look at him and he just looks back. Mellish kneels behind the wall and shares our look. This is it, its over- at least I'll be with Daniel. Reiben takes my hand, holding on tightly as we basically wait for the Germans to come over the bridge to our position. We can hear the Tiger tank moving and we all harden our resolve. We're not just going to sit here and die- if we're going to die, we're not going to make it easy for them. We prepare our guns and then I hear something. It's not the loud noise of the tank. It's…coming from behind us. I turn my head around and then I see it in the sky.

I hit Reiben's arm a few times until he turns around. He follows my gaze toward the clouds and sees an airplane. It flies over us and the Tiger tank explodes. It's American, and more planes join it, bombing the Germans. We duck and cover our heads as a myriad of explosions go off on the other side of the bridge. Jeeps full of men drive into town, unloading soldiers that swarm the place. They rush over the bridge, some shouting and quickly take out the remaining Germans. Reiben, Mellish and I stand and we look around. I see Ryan doing the same, a lost look on his face with tears on his face. Reiben brushes past me, running like a man possessed toward the bridge. He skids next to Captain Miller and I follow, kneeling on Miller's other side. Mellish stands over us as Reiben puts his hand under Miller's jacket where the bullet hole is. His hand comes back bloody, and his hand is shaking. He takes out a bandage and I steal it from him, putting it on the wound.

"Go get another medic, I don't have supplies for this!" I yell and Reiben runs off. Mellish takes his place and puts his hands on mine, trying to help me apply pressure.

"Medic! Medic!" Reiben is shouting. Ryan comes up behind us and kneel downs next to us. He sees Miller looking at the sky, at the planes, and Ryan tells him what they are.

"They're tank busters sir, P-51s."

"The angels on our shoulders," Miller says, struggling to speak loud enough for us to hear.

He says something else and Ryan leans forward. "What sir?"

Miller raises his right hand, over my arms to grab at Ryan's. He whispers in his ear something and when he pulls back he says, "Earn it."

He then stills and I just stare at him. I remove my shaking hands from his chest and sit back. I put a hand to my face, smearing Miller's blood on it as tears pour out of my eyes. Mellish seems to be in shock, and Reiben returns with a medic. He falls to his knees next to Mellish and touches Miller's shoulders. He starts to cry and takes out a piece of paper from Miller's jacket, slowly backing away, trying to breathe and stop his tears as he folds it into his own jacket. The medic tries to work on Miller, but he's gone, and there's nothing anyone can do now.

I put my head in my hands, sobbing. Please, no. First Carpy, then Horvath, Daniel, and now Miller. When is it ever going to stop? This isn't right, it's not fair.

I flinch when someone touches my shoulder and I put my hands down to see who it is. It's Reiben and he sits next to me, pulling me into a hug as we both cry. I hold onto the back of his jacket so tightly my knuckles turn white, not that you can see it through the blood I have on them. I squeeze my eyes shut, shaking with the force of my sobs. A minute later I've calmed down and open my eyes, the first thing I see is the bell tower in the distance. I let go of Reiben, rubbing at my eyes and getting up on shaky feet. I take off at a run across the bridge.

"Lilly!" Reiben shouts before cursing. "Lilly! Lils!"

But I don't stop. I have to know- I have to see it for myself. I have to know for sure if he's really dead.


	14. Chapter 14 Version 1

When I reach the tower, I stop, putting a hand on the wall to steady myself. He's could be dead, his body could be in here. I don't really want to see that, but I have to know.

I can feel someone behind me and look to see Reiben, Mellish, Upham, and even Ryan trying to catch up to me. I wait for them to, not sure if I can go inside without them. Reiben steps up to my side, looking at me and seeing how determined I am to find Daniel.

He nods and clasps my shoulder. He moves into the ruined tower first and I follow. The others come after and Reiben starts calling Jackson's name, even throwing in a few Daniels. Ryan is looking for Parker and Upham joins him while Mellish and Reiben help me.

We spread out, shifting through the rubble, shouting their names until Ryan yells, "Hey, I found one of em'!"

I spin in his direction before running toward him and Upham. I stumble a few times, but Reiben and Mellish are there to catch me. When we get there Ryan and Upham have moved the wreckage off the body and Ryan says, "Its Parker, he's gone."

I let out a sigh of relief, and then feel a spike of guilt for it since a man is still dead.

"Jackson has to be close by," Upham says softly and we all start looking again while Ryan closes Parker's eyes and takes his dog tags.

"Found him!" Mellish shouts.

I rush over to him and the others who are gathered around the body. Reiben turns to face me, a grave look on his face and puts his hands out, trying to block me from getting through.

"Lilly…" he says in a pained voice.

"No," I say, tears gathering in my eyes again. "No, no, no, no, no, don't you dare, please don't, he isn't, he can't be- please no…"

I try to push through to see Daniel but Reiben catches me around the waist and pushes me back. "Lilly, you don't… you don't want to see this."

"Reiben get out of my way. He isn't dead, he can't be, he isn't- please God don't let him be dead, please!" I practically shout.

Reiben pulls me closer as I lash out at him, trying to break free from him. This just makes him hold me tighter and eventually, through the tears and cries, I give up. My knees start to give way and Reiben holds me up, slowly lowering me to the floor. I cry onto his shirt, grabbing his collar with both hands.

"Please Reiben, tell me he isn't- please, please," I beg between sobs.

"I'm so sorry Lilly," he says as the others watch us sadly. "I'm so sorry."

The rest of the day is a blur. We're put on jeeps and taken to some Allied base. The only reason I move at all to get there is because Reiben and Mellish are there to push me forward. All I know is that Daniel is dead, he's gone, and I'm alone again. The only person that has ever loved me, and that I loved since I could remember, is gone. I'm alone.

"Lilly," someone says. "Lils."

There's a sigh and the person says, "It's like she's not even there."

I blink, recognizing the voice.

"Lilly," someone else says more forcefully. They shake my shoulders and yell, "Lilly!"

I look up and see Reiben's face. He smiles and says, "There she is."

I look around, "Where are we?"

"Safe, relief showed up, you remember?" he asks.

I nod, finding it hard to think about anything except Daniel.

"Lilly, we talked to the General who sent our relief. Because of how you fought in combat, they're sending you home," he says.

I was supposed to go home with Daniel. Why do I get to go home and not him?

"No," I whisper.

"What?" he asks, not hearing me.

"No," I repeat louder this time. "No, no, no, I don't want to- I can't go home, not-not without- not when he can't."

Reiben looks at another man behind him; Mellish.

"Lils, what about Ruth, and Alice?" Reiben asks, Daniel probably having told them about them.

I sigh, putting my head in my hands. Ruth, and Alice, oh God, why, why did you do this? Why him?

"Lils, listen, we asked about Wade," Mellish says and this gets me to look up at them. "He got sent back state side. The plane you'll be on will take you into the same city he's in."

I look at Reiben and he nods. "Is he… is he okay?"

"He will be, but I bet he'd be happy to see you," Reiben says with a small smile.

I nod and my eyes drift off, looking at the floor. There's another sigh and the sound of two boots on the floor as Mellish leaves the room.

Reiben, Mellish, and Upham stay with me until a private comes to get me to take me to a field hospital, where I'll be transported back home with some wounded.

They all give me hugs before the private leads me away. I see Reiben telling the private something out of the corner of my eye.

On the plane, Ryan is there as well, and he sits with me. He doesn't speak, but the sounds of the wounded break through to my mind and I look around. There are soldiers bleeding, and crying, some missing limbs, some with burns, some with bullet holes.

I stand slowly and make my way over to one of them, half on autopilot. Ryan follows me and I whisper instructs to him as we make our way through the patients, helping the one nurse on the plane.

We get to the hospital and Ryan disappears. I stand off to the side watching the wounded being unloaded, and then remember what Reiben and Mellish told me about Wade. I go into the hospital and to the front desk. There's a nurse there, flipping through a chart.

"Excuse me," I say softly and have to repeat myself to get her attention. "Excuse me. Do you know where a man is by the name Irvin Wade?"

"Um, hold on hun," she says, looking through a bunch of charts and clipboards. "Ah, here we are, Irwin Wade, field medic, two gunshots wounds to the shoulder and stomach. He's on the fourth floor honey, room 411."

I nod in thanks, still out of it, and walk to the room. I search the many beds crammed into the small room until I see Wade. I walk a little faster over to him. He's reading a newspaper, sitting up a little, but is shocked when he sees me. But then he grows concerned. "Lilly, what happened?"

And then I break down again.

I go back to Tennessee a few weeks later, and I don't go alone. Wade had to wait a little to get discharged, and I didn't want to go home alone, so as soon as he could leave, he came home with me. He didn't have anywhere else to go, no family left, at least no close family.

When we got to the Jackson home, Ruth and Alice were on the porch ready to greet us. I can see on their faces that they are expecting the news I'm about to give them.

I help Wade out of the car and they're confused as to whom this is; they were probably thinking it was Daniel. I look at Ruth and Alice, and they can tell just by my face that Daniel is gone. They hug each other, crying and I help Wade into the house.

Two weeks later Wade and I have moved into the house next door, the house Daniel and I lived in for the few years we were married. Coming back here I was terrified, but Wade helped me. He walked me through the entire house as memories bombarded me, and the thoughts of how Daniel would never walk through this place again hit me. He held me as I cried again and told me that things were going to be okay. I still don't believe him.

But today, after being back in America for two months, I realize maybe things will be alright. I still think about Daniel every day, every hour, and it still hurts just to breathe, and see Ruth, and Alice, and remember everything we talked about that we were going to do. But as I hang up the phone after the local doctor called me back, I realize that life moves forward. I just wish Daniel was here to see it.

By the time I am taken to the hospital to give birth to twins, Wade is mostly healed. I'm crying- because of the pain, the joy and fear of becoming a mother, and sadness over how Daniel will never get to meet his children. He never knew, but that night in Neuville, the day we found each other in the middle of the war, he left me pregnant with a girl and a boy.

I refused to let the doctors and nurses make Wade leave. Seeing them push him out of the room made me almost hysterical. Daniel couldn't be here, but Wade has become my best friend, my brother, closer to me than Ruth and even Alice, and I was not going to go through this alone. They reluctantly let him stay seeing how panicked I was getting. He held one of my hands, as my other hands clutch Daniel's dog tags.

The first child is a boy. "Jack Michel Elijah Jackson."

Jack for Daniel's father, who was more of a father to me than my own, Michel for Sergeant Horvath , and Elijah for my former captain, Elijah Dunne, who I learned was recently killed in combat.

A few minutes later comes a girl. "Danielle John Charles Jackson."

Danielle for her father, John for Captain John Miller, and Charles for Private Long, who died with Captain Dunne.

A few months later, after the official end to the war, we get a surprise when a car comes up the driveway and out steps Reiben.

I'm at the window and when I see him a huge smile spreads across my face, a smile that is rarely seen anymore. I rush to the door and throw it open; Wade is looking at me like I've gone crazy.

"Reiben!" I yell and he turns around.

"Lils!" he calls and I run to him, practically jumping on him. He catches me, having to take a step back with the force I come at him with, and laughs. He picks me up and spins me around before putting me down.

"Reiben," Wade says and I move to let them shake hands. But Wade surprises him by pulling on his hand to bring him into a hug. Reiben sighs but then smiles and hugs Wade back.

"Nice to see you on your feet doc," Reiben comments and looks at me. "So, do I get to meet the terror twins?"

I glare at him for the nickname he's given my kids, but he just keeps smiling. I nod and wave him in. All three of us have been writing, and we've written a few letters to Mellish and Upham too, but mostly Reiben. He was the one who mostly took care of me after I was so distraught after Daniel's death.

Later that night we all get ready for bed and as I lay there trying to fall asleep, I hear a familiar noise. After another minute of listening, I realize it is what I thought and jump out of the bed. The twins are still asleep in their cribs and I want them to stay that way, also I don't want Wade to be stuck in whatever nightmare he's dreaming up now.

I open Wade's door and walk in, seeing his tossing and turning in his bed. He lets out a small scream and I cross the room, sitting on the bed next to him. I take his hand and say quietly, "Irvin, it's Lilly, its okay, you're safe now. It's alright, the war's over, you're home."

Reiben appears in the doorway, probably woken up by Wade's scream. Every little thing wakes up a soldier.

I wave him in and he cautiously steps up to the other side of the bed. Wade has calmed down a little and Reiben puts a hand on Wade's shoulder. "Wade, you're not there anymore. You're safe Irwin."

I watch as he calms Wade down in a way I could never before.

"Can you stay here? I want to check on Danielle and Jack," I ask.

He nods and I quietly leave. The twins are still sound asleep and so I return to Wade and Reiben. Reiben is asleep too, sitting up and leaning against the bed. I chuckle and sit down with my back against the bed and take Wade's hand again.

The next morning Wade wakes us both up, and when he asks if we stayed here all night, Reiben and I just look at each other and he says maybe. Wade smiles, laughs, and chases us out of the room. Before he closes the door however, he looks at us completely serious and says, "Thanks."

Three weeks later I'm getting a little frustrated. Every night we're woken up by at least one person, Reiben, Wade, or myself, having a nightmare. Mine are either about my father, the war, or Daniel's death. Wade has told us about some of his, and Reiben has told us very little- it's like pulling teeth trying to get him to talk about the war. This isn't the only part that's frustrating me though.

Having to wake up, or get waken up every night has taken its toll not just on me, but the others, just from the lack of sleep. This war is over, there's no reason for us to be sleep deprived anymore. Also, some nights, we wake up the twins because we can't wake each other up fast enough. If it's Wade or Reiben that wakes them up, their apologizing grates on my nerves- one, just because of how many times they say it, and two, because it's not their fault, they can't help they have nightmares about the hell we were all in.

I suggested that they both just sleep in the same room, that way they'll be able to wake or calm down the other if they start having a dream. Of course, that's when mine start. With being waken up so often from their nightmares, I often wake up before mine can start. Now that they've taken to waking each other up, I keep sleeping, and so am able to get to the point where I dream.

I usually wake up the twins and Reiben and Wade have to help me put them back to bed. Afterward they'll stay with me, sitting on the floor against my bed, or in the chair against the wall. One night, after having seen the effects of what sleeping upright and on hard surfaces has on them, I just tell them to get in the bed with me. The next morning we were wrapped around each other. It was different from what Daniel and I would be like, but it still felt… normal, and good.

Of course, Reiben and Wade freaked out. They kept apologizing, not letting me get a word in. I think they felt guilty, something about how they were taking advantage of me. I am technically single, so sleeping in a bed with a man, or men in this case, would be considered inappropriate. Of course, sleeping in the same bed with your brothers isn't, which is exactly what I consider them to be, but they're still leery about it.

Also, I think there was some awkwardness about how they were snuggling with their former friend's wife. For days this period of awkwardness and even shame influences every interaction we have.

On the fourth day of this ridiculousness, I put my foot down.

Reiben and Wade both just walked into the same room I was in and looked at each other, me, and then both tried to leave.

"Okay, that's it!" I shout and Wade jumps, literally jumps at my shouting. Reiben flinches a little but not as much as Wade. "Irwin, Richard, this has to stop!"

They both turn back to me and I cut off whatever Reiben was about to say. "No, you both have made it perfectly clear how you feel, it's my turn."

He shuts his mouth and they wait for me to continue. "Listen, I don't know what exactly you two have been thinking ever since you started avoiding me, but I can guess. But all I know is that I sleep better with my two brothers with me. And that's what you two are to me, brothers, and I just want my brothers back."

I take a breath as Danielle starts to cry in the next room over. "But if you two can't do that, if you don't consider me family like I do you, or you can't anymore, then you need to leave. Okay, just go!"

I walk past Reiben, hitting his shoulder rather roughly with mine on the way past. They call my name but I just keep walking. I pick up Danielle and start rocking her, my tears mixing with hers.

That night, I put the twins down for sleep with Wade and Reiben lingering down stairs. I get changed for bed and there's a knock on my door.

I pause and take a deep breath before telling them to enter. Both Reiben and Wade step through and close the door behind them. I lean against my dresser as they stand there for a minute before Wade speaks. "Lils, we didn't… we didn't mean to upset you, we just didn't know if…if…"

He looks at Reiben for help. "We didn't want to replace Jackson."

I look down at my feet and push a piece of hair behind my ear. "No one can ever replace Daniel. And I don't consider you… you like my boyfriends or anything."

I blush heavily even thinking about it.

"Well, we know that now," Reiben says with his trademark smirk.

I roll my eyes and Wade comes to me, giving me a hug. "I'm sorry for the way we've been acting."

Reiben steps up behind us. "Me too."

Wade and I exchange a look and one hand from each of us reach out, grab a handful of Reiben's shirt, and pull him toward us. He's caught off guard and stumbles into us. We laugh as we hug each other. When we pull apart, we're all still smiling.

"So, time for bed," I say, hesitantly, still not sure about the sleeping arrangement.

But then they each grab one of my hands and drag me to the bed. Wade pushes me gently into it and Reiben goes round to the other side and climbs in. I lay in the middle and Wade and Reiben lie next to me and we pull up the covers.

I lie on my left side facing Reiben and can feel Wade's arm pressing against my back, and his legs against mine. Reiben takes my hand and squeezes it and Wade says, "We're not going anywhere sis."

"Damn straight, can't get rid of us now," Reiben adds.

I smile. "Good."


	15. Chapter 14 Version 2

When I reach the tower, I stop, putting a hand on the wall to steady myself. He's could be dead, his body could be in here. I don't really want to see that, but I have to know.

I can feel someone behind me and look to see Reiben, Mellish, Upham, and even Ryan trying to catch up to me. I wait for them to, not sure if I can go inside without them. Reiben steps up to my side, looking at me and seeing how determined I am to find Daniel.

He nods and clasps my shoulder. He moves into the ruined tower first and I follow. The others come after and Reiben starts calling Jackson's name, even throwing in a few Daniels. Ryan is looking for Parker and Upham joins him while Mellish and Reiben help me.

We spread out, shifting through the rubble, shouting their names until Ryan yells, "Hey, I found one of em'!"

I spin in his direction before running toward him and Upham. I stumble a few times, but Reiben and Mellish are there to catch me. When we get there Ryan and Upham have moved the wreckage off the body and Ryan says, "Its Parker, he's gone."

I let out a sigh of relief, and then feel a spike of guilt for it since a man is still dead.

"Jackson has to be close by," Upham says softly and we all start looking again while Ryan closes Parker's eyes and takes his dog tags.

"Found him!" Mellish shouts.

I rush over to him and the others who are gathered around the body. Reiben turns to face me, a grave look on his face and puts his hands out, trying to block me from getting through.

"Lilly…" he says in a pained voice.

"No," I say, tears gathering in my eyes again. "No, no, no, no, no, don't you dare, please don't, he isn't, he can't be- please no…"

I try to push through to see Daniel but Reiben catches me around the waist and pushes me back. "Lilly, you don't… you don't want to see this."

"Reiben get out of my way. He isn't dead, he can't be, he isn't- please God don't let him be dead, please!" I practically shout.

Reiben pulls me closer as I lash out at him, trying to break free from him. This just makes him hold me tighter and eventually, through the tears and cries, I give up. My knees start to give way and Reiben holds me up, slowly lowering me to the floor. I cry onto his shirt, grabbing his collar with both hands.

"Please Reiben, tell me he isn't- please, please," I beg between sobs.

"I'm so sorry Lilly," he says as the others watch us sadly. "I'm so sorry."

"Um, guys, he's still breathing," Ryan says and my eyes snap open. I push Reiben out of the way and crawl to Daniel's side. My hands shake as I reach out to put my hand over his mouth. I try not to look at the right side of his face, which is covered in blood from a multitude of gashes and cuts on his forehead and cheek, or the awkward angle his right leg is at.

I feel the faint flutter of breath against my hand and look up at Ryan, who is kneeling on his other side looking at me expectantly.

I let out a shaky breath and wipe the tears from my eyes. "He-He's still alive."

I push down any feelings of grief or panic and force myself to focus, to be a nurse. "Upham, Mellish, run and get a medic, tell them they need equipment to treat abrasions and a broken leg; and we need to move him as soon as possible."

I don't see them leave, but I can hear them run through the rubble.

Reiben crouches down next to me, dropping his BAR on the ground. "What can we do?"

"His leg is broken, take his boot off," I say and he immediately sets about doing that.

"Ryan, get out all the bandages you have," I instruct and he jumps to obey.

I take out all the bandages I have on me, and then unceremoniously raid Reiben's pockets as well. Anywhere else this would be seen as monumentally inappropriate. Ryan adds his own to the pile.

"Ryan, apply sulfa powder to the cuts on his face. Cover his eyes, we don't want the powder to get in them, then bandage them," I say and he nods before taking one of the sulfa packets and ripping it open.

Reiben has just finished taking off Daniel's boot and sock and I bend down to look for a pulse at the artery near his ankle. I let out a quick sigh of relief when I find one.

"Alright, Reiben hold his leg in place, as straight as you can," I say as we hear the turning over of stone blocks and footsteps. Mellish and Upham must be returning with the medic.

They appear around the corner and carefully, but quickly make their way over to us. I see the medic has a splint kit with him and thank the lord.

I politely ask Ryan and Reiben to move back out of the way and help the other medic apply the splint to his leg as Mellish and Upham wait nearby with a stretcher. As the medic finishes up the splint, I finish the bandages on his face.

Reiben and Mellish then help us put him on the stretcher and carry him to n awaiting med-evac jeep. The medics, and other soldiers there, usher us all into the vehicle. I then realize I don't know if any of the others have been hurt.

"Are the rest of you okay?" I ask, looking critically at them all.

"Just a few bumps and bruises, nothing to worry 'bout," Reiben says.

I raise an eyebrow but don't see any pressing injuries on them, but know they'll go through a full medical evaluation soon. I focus back on Daniel, who is still out cold, and pray that he will be out until we can get him to a hospital.

The next two days are a blur. By the time we reached the field hospital it was night. We were quickly ushered inside where Daniel was taken to the critical unit, while the others were put on beds to get checked over, including myself to my dismay.

By the time that was over, myself and the others, including Ryan, went to find Daniel. He was stable for now, but the doctors also discovered some broken ribs, and a possible fractured right arm. He woke up briefly to tell them what hurt the most before the morphine they gave him took effect and he was lulled back to sleep.

We all wait outside the hospital; it was crowded enough in there. I am so tired I know I wouldn't be of any help. Reiben managed to wrangle me to get something to eat, and by the time we got back, there was a bed made beside Daniel's made of field blankets and a pillow. I just give Reiben and the others a smile, knowing it was their doing, and they say goodnight before leaving.

The next morning, we all say our goodbyes as Daniel, Ryan, and I are put on a plane back to the states. Ryan for obvious reasons, as well as Daniel, and myself because of how I valiantly fought in combat even though it wasn't my job too. I think they may be afraid of the public outrage if they don't let me go back home after what I did- something like, "She fought a war no woman should had been made to fight in, and you're making her stay?!"

If Daniel wasn't injured and going stateside, I would have argued to stay, but right now all I want to do is go back to the U.S. if it means staying by his side.

Nevertheless, it was sad saying goodbye to Reiben, Mellish, and Upham. But I knew we could still write, and there is a chance, no matter how small, that we'd see each other again.

We arrive at the airfield were the injured are quickly-I mean quickly- unloaded and taken directly to the hospital. Ryan gets off and is swept away by a soldier waiting specifically for him. Before he leaves I make sure to give him a hug and whisper, "It wasn't your fault, you didn't ask for a squad to be sent to find you."

He doesn't say anything, and I run to catch up to Daniel as he carried away.

When we reach the hospital I'm made to wait outside where Daniel is being treated and remember that this hospital is one of the biggest in the country for injured soldiers.

I go up to the front desk and approach the nurse there, who is flipping through a chart.

"Excuse me," I say softly and have to repeat myself to get her attention. "Excuse me. Do you know where a man is by the name Irvin Wade?"

"Um, hold on hun," she says, looking through a bunch of charts and clipboards. "Ah, here we are, Irwin Wade, field medic, two gunshots wounds to the shoulder and stomach. He's on the fourth floor honey, room 411."

I nod in thanks, still out of it, and walk to the room. I search the many beds crammed into the small room until I see Wade. I walk a little faster over to him. He's reading a newspaper, sitting up a little, but is shocked when he sees me. But then he grows concerned. "Lilly, what happened?"

And then I break down as all that has happened in the last few days finally overwhelms me.

Its a few weeks later that Wade is allowed out of bed. I was able to remain at the hospital after volunteering to work for free in exchange for a bed and three warm meals a day. I think the nurse in charge was sympathetic when I told her my husband was here seriously injured.

Of course, when Wade gets out of bed, it's just a few days later that he reveals to me he has nowhere to go. Daniel has been quite awake and active-well as much as I and the other nurses allow him to be with broken ribs and a broken leg- and when I tell him this, we both come the simultaneous conclusion that he can move in with us, at least until he finds something better. And if he doesn't want to live with us, I'm sure we can find him something cheap in Tennessee- that is, if he wants to live there at all.

Getting home is a long, exhausting trip with two wounded men to help. Luckily, the other passengers on the train we had to take were very kind and helped us whenever I asked for it.

When we stepped out of the car in front of the Jackson main house, Ruth and Alice came running out, crying with joy. I had written them telling them Daniel and I were fine and were returning home as soon as Daniel was healed enough to make the trip, and that we were bringing a friend too of course. Ruth actually invited Wade to stay with her and Alice, saying they needed a man in the house since Daniel has his own. She also mentioned something about how Daniel and I were still a young married couple and so it may be better for Wade to live with them instead. This I didn't mention to Daniel or Wade.

One month later Wade and Daniel are mostly healed, and I start to begin to suspect something. Not sharing my thoughts at first, Daniel was highly curious and concerned until I finally broke down and told him I think I may be pregnant. He was in a few moments of shock before his senses came back and we called the doctor to set up an appointment. Seven months later, we're at the hospital as I give birth to a boy and a girl. The boy comes first and Daniel and I- who I insisted be in the room for this- name him Jack Michel Elijah Jackson. Jack for Daniel's father, who was more of a father to me than my own, Michel for Sergeant Horvath , and Elijah for my former captain, Elijah Dunne, who I learned was recently killed in combat.

A few minutes later comes our little girl; Allison John Charles Jackson. Allison for a good friend of mine who was a nurse in the war who was killed, John for Captain John Miller, and Charles for Private Long, who died with Captain Dunne.

A few months later, after the official end to the war, we get a surprise when a car comes up the driveway and out steps Reiben.

I'm at the window and when I see him a huge smile spreads across my face, a smile that is rarely seen anymore. I rush to the door and throw it open; Wade is looking at me like I've gone crazy, and Daniel is just shaking his head.

"Reiben!" I yell and he turns around.

"Lils!" he calls and I run to him, practically jumping on him. He catches me, having to take a step back with the force I come at him with, and laughs. He picks me up and spins me around before putting me down.

"Reiben," Daniel says as he and Wade exit the house. I move to let them all shake hands. But Wade surprises him by pulling on his hand to bring him into a hug. Reiben sighs but then smiles and hugs Wade back.

"Nice to see you on your feet doc," Reiben comments and looks at Daniel.

"So I guess I can't call you limpy anymore, huh?" he says and Daniel just goes right in for the hug. They both laugh at the nickname Reiben made up while Daniel was still using his crutches before Reiben looks back at me. "So, do I get to meet the terror twins?"


	16. Chapter 15

**This takes place before the movie and the war. Daniel's father I don't mention in the story, but he died shortly before the war. He's still alive when this takes place. This just gives you a little more insight into Daniel and Lilly's lives before the war at home, just in case you were curious or wanted more to read about them. The next chapter is a continuation of this.**

Daniel and his father drop me off at my father's house- not my home, this isn't home, the Jackson house is home. I say a quick goodbye to Daniel and Jack; they promise to come back early tomorrow to help me pack up the rest of my things. I turn 18 tomorrow and the first thing I'm doing with this new freedom is move out of my father's.

My father has been hitting me for years. My mother died when I was young, when we were living in New York. After we moved here, without my mother to protect me and take most of the beatings, my father turned his attention fully on me. I met Daniel a few days later and we instantly became best friends. Now we're dating, and half of my nights are spent at the Jackson house. Daniel found out about the abuse a while ago, and he finally convinced me years later to tell his parents a few weeks ago. That's when they asked me to move in with them- to get me away from my father. They hated knowing I was there just like Daniel; they didn't want me to get hurt anymore.

A few days ago I told my dad about my plan to change residences, and he took it surprisingly well. He didn't yell, or scream at me, or…anything.

Daniel kisses my cheek and I hop out of the car. There's a light rain and I run into the house. I unlock the door and shut the door as quietly as possible. My curfew is seven, and it's still light out, but it's entirely possible that my father's asleep and I don't want to wake him up. But when I turn around I find the tiptoeing was in vain. My father is sitting on the couch awake, a bottle of beer- mostly empty- in his hand. Just seeing the expression on his face I instinctively take a step back.

"You were with him again, weren't you?" he asks angry.

I nod and he looks at me livid. "Why would anyone want to be with a worthless slut like you?"

I flinch and close my eyes, remembering to do what Daniel said; he said that whenever my father says something like this, remember this, remember how he told me I was beautiful, and loved, and precious beyond measure to him.

I open my eyes and see my father getting to his feet drunkenly. "First you're late, now you're not even listening! God, why are you so stupid?"

I flinch again, shuffling back as he walks toward me.

"Why did I have to have such an ungrateful, filthy whore for a daughter?"

I shudder as he reaches me, pressing myself against the door as much as possible. I flick my eyes up to his, freezing when I see the pure and unadulterated rage and hate in them.

I turn and yank the door open, but his hand slams down on it, closing it with a loud bang. He grabs my arm and throws me to the floor. I hear the familiar clicks of the locks and scramble to my feet as he stalks toward me. His hand grips my throat, pushing me back into the wall. My hands try to pry his hand away, but it's no use, he's three times stronger than me.

"Did you really think you were just going to be able to leave?" he spits. "You're not going anywhere unless I say so!"

I realize he's talking about me moving out tomorrow and he squeezes my neck. He drags me down the hall and I try to get him to let me go, but I then remember what Daniel and Jack taught me about how to defend yourself. Firstly, don't panic, you have to think.

And so thinking, I instead try to get closer to him rather than pull away. I lean my head forward to bite his wrist. He yells out in pain and his grip loosens on my neck loosens enough for me to get free. I run back the hall trying to get to the back door there, but he runs after me, catching me by my shirt. It pulls me to a halt rather roughly and I use the wall to stop myself from falling to the ground. I turn around in time to see him right in front of me. He pushes me by the shoulders into the wall and I hit my head hard on it. My vision goes fuzzy, black spots appearing in my vision, and I can't move as pain spikes through my head. I feel my father haul me down the hallway and I stumble along. The pain in my head makes it hard to think.

As we reach the bathroom I fall to the floor, my stomach flipping. A kick to the stomach makes me up end up curled on my side, my back colliding on the corner of the bathroom doorframe. I clutch my stomach, pain erupting through it. I gasp for breath and he kicks me again, this time making me cry out. He pulls me into the bathroom and I try to get up, get away from him, but he slaps my face. The force of it sends me to the ground again, seeing stars. My ears are ringing and he pushes me onto my back. I feel him start unbuttoning the bottom of my dress and I realize this isn't just going to be a simple beating. He's going to cross a line he's never tried to before.

This renews the fight in me. I lash out at him, shoving his hands away, kicking and screaming at him to let me go and get off of me. He growls, trying to pin my arms down and I send a punch toward his face. It's perfect, just like how Daniel and Jack taught me to hit.

My father falls off me onto the tile floor, I think more stunned than anything. I crawl away from him and use the sink to pull myself up. I make it a step or two before something pulls on the bottom of my dress. He managed to grab it and this time when he pulls me down, he drags me across the floor and sits on my legs. He grabs my wrists and holds them with one hand against my chest. With the other hand he rips open the bottom of my dress, sending a few buttons flying. I struggle as best I can but I can't stop him when he shoves his hand down my underwear. Tears fall from my eyes as his fingers roughly push their way into me. The pain is unimaginable and I scream. He forcibly moves his fingers deep inside me; this is nothing like the loving care Daniel showed when we've done things like this together.

"You're so warm, and tight," he says, his breath smelling like alcohol. "I bet you like this. You let that boy of yours touch you like this, you slut?"

I don't answer and he brutally crams another finger into me, making me sob louder as pain flares through my lower half. I swear I can feel something tear.

"You belong to me," he says furious. "You're not going anywhere, especially not with that boy. You're mine, you ungrateful bitch. I own you."

I jolt when he roughly pulls his fingers out of me. I start to panic again when I see him try to undo his belt. But I force myself still so he believes I've given up on fighting.

He grumbles in annoyance, not able to get his belt off with one hand. I'm not fighting anymore, so he thinks it's safe to let go of my wrists. I reach up behind me, spotting a metal curtain rod, and swing it, hitting him right in the head. It hits him with a loud crack and he collapses, dropping to the floor. I skitter backward and force my body to get up.

He's slowly getting up and says, "You bitch."

Blood is pouring from his wound, and combined with the alcohol, he can't stand.

"I'm not the bitch, you are," I shoot back. "And I don't belong to you, not anymore. If I belong to anyone, it's him."

And with that, I bring the bar down on his head again, knocking him out cold.

I drop the metal bar and lean against the doorframe. So much pain riddles my body but all I want to do is get out of here, I just want to go home- to Ruth, Jack, Alice, and to Daniel.

I stagger down the hall and out the door. It's pouring down rain but it's still a little light out. The sun is setting and I start walking toward the Jackson house, having walked this path many times before. I push through the pain as I half walk, half run through the cornfield, taking the shortest trail there.

The rain soaks through my clothes; I didn't grab a jacket before I left, and luckily my shoes weren't taken off in the struggle.

As the house comes into view, I collapse to my knees, hugging my abdomen. The pain from my lower region is horrible, and walking makes it twice as worse. I realize the bottom of my dress is still for the most part unbuttoned and I try to put it back together as best I can, but a few buttons are missing.

A minute later I get back onto my feet and stagger the rest of the way to the house. It's not that late and I go to the front door, knocking rapidly.

A few seconds later the curtain is pulled to the side and Jack is there. When he sees me his face drops and he rips the door open.

"Lilly, oh my God," he says and I break down. I fling myself at him and he catches me. I squeeze him, just needing something-or someone- to hold onto. Tears pour out of my eyes and Jack calls for Ruth, then Daniel.

I open my eyes when I hear their footsteps. When I see Daniel I let go of Jack, almost pushing him away in my rush to get to Daniel. He steps toward me and I throw my arms around his neck. He holds me, running his fingers through my hair and shushing me as I sob.

"Ruth, take Alice upstairs," Jack orders and Ruth nods, ushering Alice toward the steps.

Jack comes to Daniel and me and suggests we go to the living room.

"Lilly, darlin'," Daniel says, "Come on."

I nod and he puts an arm around my waist, helping me walk when it appears I'm having trouble. The pain is terrible, and images of what happened flash through my head. The alcohol smell, the hard tile under my back, my father over me, and his-his fingers-

We reach the couch and sit down. Ruth walks in and puts a few items on the table. I see peroxide, and bandages with tape. Daniel strokes my cheek and I pull away when he rubs against something that stings. I put my hand to it and realize I have a cut there. It must've happened when he slapped me.

Ruth sits on my other side and I choke on a sob when she takes a look at the back of my head. I know it's probably bad from how hard it collided with the wall.

"Lilly, what happened?" Daniel asks.

I cringe just thinking about it, wrapping my arms around myself. "H-He was…upset about h-how I was-s moving o-out. He h-hit me, and-and…"

Flashes of the bathroom come back to me and I start to shake. "H-He crossed a l-line."

"Lils, what did he do?" Daniel asks.

My hands lower to my lower abdomen and I start to cry again. Daniel moves his arm up my back and I lean into him. "I-I want to c-call the police."

There's a moment of silence, and I know they're shocked. Every time after my father attacked me, I would always forbid Daniel to call the police, something he told his parents.

"Jack, can you call?" Ruth asks.

"Yeah," Jacks answers and goes into the kitchen.

"Daniel, can you check on your sister?" Ruth says more than asks.

Daniel looks at her confused and I latch onto him, not wanting him to leave. Ruth touches my hand gently. "He'll be right back."

I take a deep breath and let go of him, every part of me screaming not to. Daniel reluctantly gets up, not wanting to go as much as I don't want him to.

After he's gone, Ruth looks at me and whispers, "Did he rape you?"

I look at her shocked and she looks down. She fingers the fabric of my dress where the buttons are missing and I see a small spot of blood on them. That wasn't there before. I stand and look at it closer and Ruth draws my attention to a small puddle of blood on the couch. I pull up my dress and my underwear is soaked with blood.

"Oh God," I choke out.

Ruth stands and takes my hands. "Daniel!"

We hear his footsteps on the stairs a second later and he enters the room at a run.

"Stay with her," Ruth orders and goes into the kitchen. Daniel comes to me and hugs me, running his hands up and down my back. I clutch onto him and bury my face in his chest.

A minute later Ruth and Jack come back in and tell us that the police are on the way to my father's house to pick us up, and we'll meet them at the hospital.

"Lilly, come with me," Ruth says. Daniel comes with us, waiting outside the door when his mother tells him to. She gives me a new pair of underwear from my drawer of clothing I had in the guest room and a sanitary pad and belt. I put it on, my hands shaking in shock and pain.

Ruth tells me I can change my clothes if I want to. Someone knocks and Ruth tells them to enter. Daniel pokes his head in and says his father wants Ruth. She leaves and Daniel lingers in the doorway.

"You want me to stay?" he asks concerned.

I just nod my emotions all over the place as I sniffle. He walks slowly to me and takes my hand.

"You never wanted to call the police before…what did he do?" Daniel asks warily.

I squeeze my eyes shut, not wanting to back there, but I have to tell him- at least him. But what if he…what if he finds me like my father always said I was. Disgusting? Worthless?

"Lils, did he… did he touch you?" he asks and by his tone I know he's asking if my father touched me sexually.

I raise my other hand to my mouth, and let out another sob, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. Daniel pulls me toward him and holds me carefully because of all the bruises.

"Lils," he whispers, his voice pained.

"H-He held me d-down, and-and ripped my dress. He p-put his-his hand down my- and I-I couldn't stop him. It hurt s-so much," I cry into his shirt.

He rubs my back. "Shh, shh, it's okay. God, I'm so sorry Lilly. I'm so sorry I wasn't there."

He puts his hands on either side of my head and puts his forehead to mine. "I never should've let you go in there, I'm so sorry."

I realize he's crying too, and this just makes me cry more.

"Its n-not your f-fault," I say. "Y-You couldn't h-have known."

"No but I guessed something might happen, but I didn't think he'd go this far," Daniel says upset with himself.

"He n-never has before," I say.

I feel something shift in him and he says, "I'm gonna kill him."

My entire body just stops.

"I'm gonna kill him," Daniel repeats and lets me go, walking toward the door. This snaps me out of my stupor.

"Daniel no!" I shout and run toward him, almost knocking him down with how hard I run into him. "Please, please don't."

I hold onto Daniel as tightly as I can, trying to physically keep him here, not that I could if he really wanted to go, but he just holds me too.

"If you do, they'll have to arrest you, and I-I- you can't go, I need you. Please Daniel, please don't leave."

I'm flat out pleading and I feel the tension and anger in his body relax.

"Okay, okay," he whispers. "I'm right here, and I promise I'm not going anywhere."

I just hold onto him and he kisses my head. "I'm not gonna leave you sweetheart."

A minute later after standing here there's a knock on the door and Ruth says through it, "Your dad has the car ready."

Daniel looks at me before saying, "Can you give us a few more minutes?"

"Three," she says, "The police wanted us to bring the clothes you were wearing during the attack."

She opens the door a crack just enough to put her hand through which is holding a bag. Daniel takes it and she shuts the door. We can hear her footsteps as she leaves.

"Come on, let's get you changed," Daniel says. "Unless you want me to wait outside."

I shake my head and hold his hand tighter.

"Okay," he says, running his hand through my hair to get it out of my eyes. He pulls me over to the dresser and takes out a shirt and a pair of pants. I don't wear them often, but I do have them.

He guides me to the bed and I sit. He puts the clothes beside me and kneels in front of me. He raises his hands to the top button on my dress and stills, looking at me.

I nod. "It's okay, go ahead."

He can tell I'm being sincere and unbuttons the dress. I take it off and he helps me put the shirt on. I have a few bruises and it hurts to move, so he actually does most of the work. The pants are even harder. I blush a little at him seeing me in just my underwear, like I always do, but he just holds the pants up for me to slip into. It hurts to pull them up so he does it quickly. I rest a hand on my abdomen and he covers it with his own.

"I'm so sorry," he says. He kisses my forehead and I melt a little.

"Come on, they're waiting," he says and helps me to my feet. He puts his arm around my waist and I wrap one around his shoulders. It hurts the most to walk, and when we reach the stairs, he doesn't even have me try. He just picks me up and carries me down them. But he doesn't put me down when we reach the bottom. He just carries me through the rest of the house, and out to the car. The rain has slowed down and Jack opens the back seat door. Daniel puts me inside, and slides in after me. He sits me half in his lap and holds me tight, as if trying to ensure me- and himself- that nothing is going to separate us.

At the hospital, a nurse takes me to a room, making Jack and Daniel wait outside- Ruth had to stay home with Alice. I nervously let go of Daniel and change into the dress the nurse gives me. I sit on the bed as the nurse asks me questions. After the standard, basic ones, she starts to ask more about my injuries. She doesn't ask how I got them, just asks what they were and how exactly they got there. Like the cut on my cheek; I tell her that someone slapped me. She doesn't ask who, she just treats it and moves on. Then comes to hardest part; the…internal damage.

I almost cry when she looks at that injury. She has me take off my underwear and lay back on the bed. She puts on a glove, bends my knees and takes a look before telling me that she has to see how bad it is inside. She lays her hand on my stomach and I feel her hand touch my entrance and I panic. I scramble backward, trying to get as far from her as possible and scream at her to get away from me. I can't go through that again, please, God, no.

The door slams open and Daniel and Jack rush in. Daniel comes straight for me and I hold onto any part of him I can, knowing with him I'm safe. With him no one can hurt me.

"What the hell is going on in here?" a man shouts. I look and see it's a Sheriff Rogers, and he's looking around furious.

I just hide in Daniel's neck, trying to calm myself down. I blush, embarrassed at how I reacted; she was just a nurse and was trying to help me.

"It was my fault," the nurse says. "I…moved too fast."

The sheriff nods. "Alright, finish up then, quick as possible."

I know Sheriff Rogers; he's been responding to calls from our neighbors about screaming and yelling for years, and wants to put my father in jail almost as much as I do.

The nurse nods and Jack leaves with the sheriff, but Daniel doesn't move, he just increases his grip on me. I don't mind, I don't want him to go either.

"Sir, I have to ask you to wait with the others," the nurse says and Daniel sighs, but I pull him back to my side when he tries to leave.

"He's staying," I say firmly.

The nurse looks at us strangely, but brushes it off. Daniel puts an arm around my shoulders as I lie back down nervously.

"It's alright darlin', relax, just relax," he whispers in my ear and I slowly start to.

The nurse stands by my other side and patiently waits for us to turn our attention to her. "Based on what you've told me about the bleeding, it's very possible there are cuts on the inside. But I have to make sure to determine the best way to treat them based on their size and the level of pain and bleeding. There's also the possibility of infection, especially is they're large cuts."

She walks back between my legs and I take Daniel's hand.

"I'll go slow; tell me if it becomes too much," she says. She waits until I nod and places her hand on my abdomen, then the other one between my folds. I tense and Daniel whispers to me to relax, that he's right here with me.

My father isn't here, this isn't him. I'm with Daniel, I'm safe.

The nurse slowly pushes her finger in and my hand tightens on Daniel's in a death grip. The pain returns as she slides her finger in the rest of the way. She stops and the pain lessens, but then returns in full force when she adds a second finger.

I have trouble remembering where I am, that I'm in a hospital and it's not my father doing this to me. If it weren't for Daniel's arm around me and whispering to me, I think I might have panicked again. My knuckles turn white and I gasp, trying to relax as Daniel murmurs comforting things to me. "I'm sorry sweetheart, but it'll be over soon, I promise. You're doing good, just relax, it'll be over soon…"

The nurse slides her fingers in the rest of the way and feels around. I manage to keep the tears in and try to breathe through it.

Before I know it, she's taken her hand away and all that's left is a dull sting and ache after a few seconds.

"There are multiple cuts, some fairly large. I'm going to give you a cream to prevent infection and one to help with the healing. They should heal of their own in a week or two. If you still have a lot of pain or are still bleeding after that, come back and I'll take another look. I'm also going to give you something that will help with the pain, but it'll probably put you to sleep pretty fast, so only take it at night."

She leaves the room and Jack and the Sheriff enter. Daniel spreads a blanket over me and then takes my hand again.

"Hey there Lilly, how you doing?" the Sheriff asks.

"I just want to go home," I say, sighing in pain in exhaustion.

"Soon, just a few questions," the Sheriff says apologetically.

I nod and he looks at Daniel and Jack, "Some are going to be kinda personal…"

"I'll wait outside," Jack says, giving my arm a squeeze before leaving, closing the door behind him.

The Sheriff seems to have already known that Daniel wasn't going to leave, and jumps right in. "So, Jack and Daniel dropped you off at home, around… seven at night?"

I nod. "I went inside and my…father was drinking. He was angry because I was moving out tomorrow, I turn 18."

"Congratulations," the Sheriff says with an encouraging smile and I find it impossible not to smile back, at least a little.

"He threw me to the ground, and dragged me down the hall. I fell, and he kicked me. We were in the bathroom, and-and he…"

I take some breaths, trying to keep from crying. I'm sick of crying.

"Take your time," the Sheriff says kindly.

I fiddle with the hospital gown and clutch Daniel's hand as he rubs circles on my other with his other hand.

"H-He, tried to get my dress up, but I hit him. I…I tried to run, but he grabbed me, and got on me. He ripped my dress, and-and shoved h-his h-hand into m-my underwear. I yelled at him to stop, but he wouldn't, and it hurt so much I just screamed. H-He tried to get his belt off, and while he was distracted I grabbed a metal rod and hit him over the head, then again when he tried to get up. Then I just ran to Daniel's."

There's silence and the Sheriff clears him throat. "I'm sorry Lilly, that you had to go through that. I think that'll be enough. I'll contact you if we need anything else, but I doubt we will. I'll keep you informed."

He shuffles out the door and Daniel kisses my head again as I ask, "Can we go home now?"

The next morning, I wake up in Daniel's bed. His parents let me sleep with him in his bed, and when I wake up he's gone. No wonder, it's almost noon.

I walk downstairs, having to go slowly because of the pain, although it's definitely less than yesterday. Ruth is in the kitchen with Alice doing the dishes and when she sees me, she directs me to a chair, putting a plate in front of me. I find I'm starving and eat two plates, more than I normally eat.

Afterward, she puts my medicine down in front of me and tells me to go rest. I walk back upstairs and take what the hospital gave me for the pain. I lie back in Daniel's bed and go to sleep.

That afternoon when I wake up, I have to go to the bathroom. It burns, bad, and when I'm done I walk back to Daniel's room, jumping when I find him walking out of it, almost colliding with him.

"Sorry," he says with a small laugh.

I roll my eyes, "I can see you are."

He schools his expression, leans against the doorframe and says, "Dad sent me away, said we were done for the day."

I'm a little surprised. The farm takes a lot of work, and they usually work the entire day.

"Also, ma told me to come check on you, make sure you took your medicine," he says.

I look at the ground and he says softly, but firmly, "Lilly."

I shift and say, "I may not have used it yet."

"Lilly, you heard what the nurse said."

"I know, I just…"

"Just what?" he asks gently.

"I'm a little…afraid to do it," I say and he hugs me.

"I know, but it could get worse if you don't," he says understandingly.

I sigh, and wonder if maybe he… I blush, no, he wouldn't. I mean we have before, but now _he's_ touched me. Would Daniel even want to anymore?

"What is it?" Daniel asks; he must've seen my blush.

"Nothing," I answer quickly, too quickly.

"Lilly, don't lie, it's not like I'm going to laugh," he says smiling.

I look at him skeptically, then sigh and say, "I was just wondering, maybe… but it's stupid, you wouldn't want to…"

"And how do you know that?" he asks. "Come on, it can't hurt to ask, can it?"

I guess not. "I…I was wondering, if-maybe-only if you wanted to, if you…could."

He looks confused. "Could what?"

I blush heavily. "Could…help me with…the medicine part."

His eyebrows rise when he gets what I'm talking about, then there's surprise. "I-I didn't think you would want me to…touch you like that after…what happened."

"I wouldn't blame you if you wouldn't want to touch me after…what happened," I say, cringing just thinking about it, and about him being too disgusted by me to touch me ever again.

He shakes his head confused again. "Why would I not want to touch you?"

I look down at my feet, embarrassment and shame filling me. "Because…because I couldn't stop him, and he…he touched me."

I shiver and his hands rub up and down my arms. "Lilly, it wasn't your fault."

I shrug and say, "But he still managed to…I'm…dirty, disgusting…just like he always said."

He tenses and so do I, shrinking back when his grip tightens on my arms. "Lilly, you listen to me now darlin', you are not, and have never been, dirty, or disgusting, or whatever sick thing he called you. Not now, not ever. You are beautiful, and I love you. I don't care that he touched you; I care that he forced it on you, but it doesn't change anything, especially not in how I want to touch you, or how much I love you."

I'm crying now, and he wraps his arms around me.

"I love you sweetheart, and nothing is ever gonna change that, and nothing is going to change how I want you," he says earnestly.

"Really?" I ask in a small voice.

"Yes," he says fiercely. He waits a beat and asks, "Do you really want me to…you know, with the medicine?"

I blush again but nod. "I trust you."

He picks me up and puts me on the bed. He crosses the room and shuts the door, locking it. He walks over to the bag the nurse gave me and takes out the two different tubes of cream. There's a piece of paper with instructions that the nurse wrote instructions on and Daniel reads it.

"I'll be right back, I have to wash my hands. Take off your pants, get comfortable," he says.

I nod and he gives me a smile as he leaves the room.

I get up and take off my pants, then underwear. I pull the covers back and lie underneath them, waiting for Daniel to return. Nervousness starts to overtake me the longer I wait, but then he comes back in with a towel. He shuts the door and locks it again, but this doesn't me uncomfortable, or afraid. I know he won't do anything I don't give him permission to.

He picks up the two tubes of medicine and towel and lies down next to me. "You have to tell me if I do anything that scares you, or hurts you."

"I think it's going to hurt anyway," I say.

He sighs and says, "Hurts any more than it has to. Tell me how you'd be most comfortable, over you, behind you…?"

The memory of my father on top of me, holding my wrists flashes to mind and I shudder as fear spikes through me. "Not over me, that's how… that's how he…um, behind me."

I turn on my right side and he slides across the bed, pressing his front against my back. He puts his right arm under my neck, so I'm using his upper arm like a pillow. I grip his forearm with both hands, starting to get nervous, and he puts the two tubes in front of me. I breathe in deeply and try to shake these feelings of anxiety; it's just Daniel, he isn't trying to hurt me like _he_ did.

Daniel starts to slowly move up the blanket, until my lower half is revealed to him. I blush a little, like I always do, and he rubs my lower stomach.

"Relax darlin'," he says.

He rubs circles on my skin, his touch light and comforting. I close my eyes, calming myself down, relaxing into the sheets and his body behind me. He lifts my left leg, bending it back so it's lying over his, giving him access to the place he needs.

He opens both tubes, placing the caps next to them on the comforter, before squeezing out a small amount of the white gel onto his finger. He puts his hand down back on my stomach, this time using the back of it to rub circles there.

"Lilly," he says and I look at him. He looks at my lips, then back at my eyes, leaning in a little before stopping. My heart starts to beat a little faster as he comes a little closer, but my anticipation grows into annoyance when he instead kisses the tip of my nose at the last second.

The arm under my head moves and his hand touches the side of my face, his knuckles stroking the underside of my jaw and he captures my lips in a chaste but passionate kiss.

I feel his other hand moving from my stomach down my skin until the back of his hand is resting on the outside of my opening. He breaks our kiss and just looks into my eyes.

Memories of my father start to come back when one of his fingers part my folds and softly rub at the sore area there, but he never once looks away from my eyes as he slowly pushes his finger into me. I flinch a little at the sting and he stops, pulling back a little before dipping back in. He kisses the bottom of my jaw to the top as he pushes his finger in deeper, and deeper. I'm still really tender and it burns, but he moves slow and carefully enough for it to be manageable.

He puts a single kiss on my pulse point, keeping his lips there as he pulls out his finger. He then whispers in my ear, "I love you, and no matter what he did, I will always want you, especially like this."

His voice is husky and I sigh at his tone and the reassurance.

He kisses my neck, moving his hand on my jaw to the left side of my neck, pressing down until I lay back fully on my side. He puts the tip of one finger back into me, than another joins it. I can tell by how cold it is and wet that the first finger was just to prepare me, get me used to the burn, this is the one with the medicine.

He plants kisses on my neck as he pushes both in and as he gets about half way in, a sudden surge of pain makes me hiss and pull away from him. His arm that's under me is around my waist in a flash, holding me still.

"Sorry darlin'," he whisper and places a kiss on my temple, real pain in his voice. "But you gotta stay still."

Memories of my father holding me down flash through my mind. My eyes squeeze shut and my breathing starts to quicken. "P-Please d-don't, please dad, please just-just let me g-go…"

My voice breaks and the hold around my waist loosens and I hear someone whisper, "Lilly, it's me, it's Daniel. He isn't here, it's just you and me, come back to me sweetheart, come back to me…"

His voice breaks through to me and I remember who it is with me, that it isn't _him_ , but Daniel. It takes me a few seconds, and Daniel whispering things to me and stroking my cheek for my breathing to stop climbing and my heart to return to normal. My eyes stay closed, not in fear, but in relief and embarrassment. "Sorry."

"You got nothing to be sorry about Lils, not your fault," he whispers back instantly and kisses my head again. "Do you want me to stop?"

I take a shaky breath and shake my head, "No, I'm alright, keep going."

"Sure?" he asks with pure concern.

I nod and force myself to relax, letting out a slow, deep breath. "I'm good, promise."

Well that may be a slight exaggeration, but this has to get done and there's no one I trust more than him to do it, not even myself. I just wish the memories would stop and these irrational feelings of fear. Daniel shouldn't make me feel afraid; he represents everything safe to me. Why am I so nervous and scared when I know it's him right now?

I move my hands to his arm and clutch it for support as he starts pushing deeper into me, until he's in as far as he can reach.

"You're doing good darlin'," he says and moves his fingers around, trying to rub the medicine into the cuts. I whimper as he touches a particular painful one and squeeze his arm. My body instinctively tries to move away, but his arm is wrapped around my neck and above my shoulder. He tenses his arm, holding me slightly tighter, and he's easily able to hold me in place. I'm actually grateful this time, if I move I could hurt myself even more.

He waits until I relax again, whispering soothing things in my ear, before continuing, rubbing and moving his fingers until he's satisfied. He gently takes out his fingers and I almost collapse in relief before I remember that was only half of the medicine as he squeezes out another paste onto his fingers.

He moves his hand back down but stops.

"Sweetheart," he says caringly but firmly, "I need you to stay still. This one is to prevent infection, but it said it's going to burn, but you need to stay still."

Fear races through me for a few seconds before I manage to control myself. It isn't going to last too long, it'll be over before I know it.

I nod and say, "Okay, but just in case, can you…"

He once again tightens his grip on me to lock me in place. He leans over me and kisses me again as he pushes his fingers back in, faster than before, trying to get it over with as quick as possible. And he was right, it burns, a lot, much more than the other one. Again I try to get away but he keeps me firmly in place. I whimper in pain and he shushes me.

"I'm sorry darlin', I'm so sorry, but it'll be over soon I promise," he says.

He doesn't stop this time, he just keeps going and I flinch almost violently. The burning just gets worse the farther he goes and I clutch his arm so tightly I'm probably hurting him. I cry out, a few tears slipping out against my will as his fingers slide in the rest of the way.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but I'm almost done," he says as he smears the medicine around, rubbing deep into the cuts and abrasions. The pain is almost as bad as with _him_ \- no, this isn't _him_ , stop it. It's Daniel, he would never want to hurt me, and I'm not there anymore.

With those thoughts I gasp, trying to catch my breath, my eyes squeezed shut tight as I try not to cry anymore than I already have. I cringe again when he hits that really sensitive cut that hurt so bad earlier, but compared to before, that pain was small.

Then he's sliding his fingers out, quickly since he wants to stop my pain, but also slow so as not to open the cuts even more.

He rubs his hand on the towel and I notice there are a few streaks of red on it afterward. He then wraps that arm around me too, nosing my neck and saying, "God I'm sorry darlin'."

I wipe my tears away hurriedly, knowing that this was hard for him too and that he'll blame himself for my being in pain. First because he wasn't there to stop my father, and now since he was the one applying the medicine.

"It's not your fault," I say, "He's the one who did this, all you've done is help me, including right now."

He buries his face in my hair and says, "I know, I just wish it didn't hurt you in the process."

I smile a little at this and roll over to face him. He leans back a little to let me but as soon as he can, he's enveloping me in his arms again, pulling me into his chest.

"I love you Daniel," I whisper. He smiles and moves his head down, giving me a long, bone melting kiss.

"I love you too Lils."

Three months later

After a week, the pain was much better than before, and it and the bleeding were completely gone by the second week. Daniel kept helping me with the medicine, everyday, twice a day for the two weeks. Sometimes I would face him, other times I would have my back to him, but I was always too scared to try it with him on top of me. I would always just imagine my father sitting on me, pinning me down and start to panic. Just the idea of someone, even Daniel, in that position over me made me terrified. But now, that fear has lessened with the care and affection Daniel has shown me.

But after I no longer needed the medicine, he hasn't touched me, not like that, since. Sure, we kiss, hold hands, even sleep in the same bed, but he's been reluctant to do anything like that with me. Maybe he's afraid of scaring me, or hurting me, but I think three months is more than enough time for all the cuts to have healed. He's said that even after what my father did he still wanted me in that way, but I'm starting to doubt it again because of his reluctance. What if he's having second thoughts about that? Or is he really just that scared I'll be afraid of him, or he'll hurt me like my father did?

All I know is that I want him to touch me, I want **his** touch. And when I imagine him over me, I don't want to cringe in fear because of what my father did to me. I want to be able to have Daniel do that and not be terrified anymore.

I told Ruth this-she's the only real mother I've ever had and while she may also be Daniel's, I'm not embarrassed to talk to her about things like this, after all, she was the only one I had to talk to about things like this all my life practically- and she told me to just tell Daniel, and so I am.

That night after dinner when I go upstairs, I change into my sleeping gown-which is actually just one of Daniel's old t-shirts (I prefer them) - and wait by the window for Daniel to come up. His parents wanted to talk to him, I don't know what about, but it probably won't take too long. I know they have to drop off Alice at a friend's house tonight since she's staying there for the night.

The door opens and Daniel walks in, but I stay facing the window when I see Jack, Ruth, and Alice walking outside.

"I thought they weren't leaving for a few more hours," I say.

"Well, ma and pa want to spend a night in town, go on a date of sorts, and so wanted to leave now," Daniel tells me and I raise an eyebrow. Obviously Ruth wanted to ensure we would be alone for this conversation.

"Ma also said you wanted to talk to me," Daniel says, walking up behind me and putting his arms around me, kissing my temple.

I smile at this gesture of affection and relax back into it before what he said registers in my mind. My stomach fills with butterflies as I try to put into words what I want to tell him- or rather ask him.

"Lilly, what is it?" he asks, noticing my sudden nervousness.

I play with the hem of my night shirt and say, "I…I want to try…what we used to do before, before what my f-father did I mean."

Daniel backs away from me, turning me around to look right at me. "Really? You want to do that?"

I nod and he looks at me incredulous and says, "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

I feel my stomach drop. He…he doesn't want to. Of course he doesn't, why would he want to touch me after my father did? I can barely stand myself, I just feel so…contaminated; like I can't get him off of me.

"I…forget it, I-I shouldn't have brought it up," I say, pushing his arm away from me and walking around him. I take in a shaky breath, trying to keep the tears in. He doesn't want me.

"Lilly," he says. "Lilly!"

I walk toward the door, just needing to get away. I just-I can't be here, not when he doesn't want me anymore. I won't make him be around me, touch me, when he doesn't want to. "Just leave me alone!"

I can hear him following me and run down the hall to the bathroom, closing the door and locking it.

"Lilly," he says through the door as I lean against the sink. "Lilly, what's wrong?"

I close in on myself, falling to the floor as I start to cry.

"Lils, please just open the door, just tell me what's wrong."

"Just go away!" I yell.

"Lilly, I don't understand, what's going on?" he asks.

"Please Daniel, please just leave me alone," I say.

"No," he says strongly, "I am not leaving."

I hear him shuffle and something hit the door, but what he says stops my tears. Why would he stay? He-He doesn't want me anymore, why wouldn't he leave?

I shuffle closer to the door as he says, "Lilly, I don't understand, please talk to me."

My heart squeezes when I hear him pleading with me. I don't want to come right out and accuse him, no matter how much it's hurting me.

"It's-it's been three months, you always say you-you still want me in that way, so why haven't you- why haven't you touched me since then?" I ask, my voice getting smaller toward the end.

"Oh Lilly," he says, "I didn't know if you wanted me to; I didn't want to hurt you."

"Why didn't you just ask?" I question.

"Why didn't you?" he asks.

"I am, right now," I answer.

He sighs. "I didn't want to push you into it before you were ready. I didn't want you to feel guilty if you had to say no if you weren't."

I close my eyes, leaning my head against the door. I wipe under my eyes and unlock the door, opening it a crack. He's sitting against it, but moves so I can push it open.

I look down, holding my knees to my chest as he scoots over to me. "So you…you do…want me?"

My voice is riddled with insecurity. He puts a hand on my cheek and presses himself against my knees. "Close your eyes."

I look at him confused but do as he says. A second later I feel his breath on the underside of my jaw and my heart skips a beat. His hand leaves my cheek and presses against my shoulder and I lean back until my back touches the wall, my head falling back against it too. His lips kiss my neck just barely, trailing down to my collarbone before they disappear, only to reappear on my lips. I'm surprised by the force of it, and make a noise in the back of my throat before melting into it.

His other hand lies on my knees, pushing them down from how they're curled up between us. We break for air and I open my eyes as his head lowers itself to my upper chest. He parts my knees, sliding himself between them to get even closer to me, and his hands snake under my shirt. They move up my stomach and my breathing starts to become uneven in anticipation. I'm not wearing a bra, so when his hands reach my chest there's nothing in his way, but he stops. His lips leave my skin and move to my ear.

"Lilly, you have no idea how much I want you," he whispers and I shiver at the unadulterated lust in his voice. He takes my hand and places it on his crotch. I blush and can feel the outline of his hard cock under my hand. "That is how much I want you."

"Then take me," I say simply, wanting nothing more than to feel his hands all over me, and feel him under my hands.

I squeal when he picks me up, throwing me over his shoulder. He laughs as he runs back to his bedroom. He doesn't even bother shutting the door- there's no one here anymore anyway- and puts me down on the bed, lying on his side next to me.

"Lils," he says, cupping my cheek, "You need to tell me if you get scared, if I do anything that makes you even the slightest bit uncomfortable."

I take his hand and kiss it. "I will."

He kisses me gently, sweetly; a radical difference to the mood before in the bathroom. He strokes my cheek with his thumb after he pulls away and says, "I'm going to need a little help here, tell me what you want me to do."

I sigh, a sort of sadness and weariness falling over me. "I just don't want to be afraid anymore. I don't want to be terrified when you touch me. I want you to be able to lay over me like before and be okay with it."

He nods, understanding that I want him to wash away what my father did to me. "Okay, let's get this off then."

He tugs at my shirt and I smirk. "A little eager are we?"

He grins, giving me that lopsided smile he uses when he's trying to flirt with me. "You have no idea."

He runs his hand up my side under the shirt, his touch leaving a trail of electricity on my skin. He cups the bottom of my breast and tweaks my nipple, causing me to inhale sharply. He smirks before using both hands to grab the bottom of my shirt and pull it up. I lean up and close my eyes as the fabric comes up over my head and he throws it behind him.

I shiver, watching his hungry gaze on my chest turn to compassion when he then looks up into my eyes. I can feel myself turn red, partly from blushing at how half of me is now bare before him, and half from excitement.

"Lilly, tell me what to do," he instructs.

I'm not used to taking control, preferring him to take charge, but I know he's right; I have to lead now, control what happens under my terms. I nod and take his hands.

"I loved the feeling of being under you, of feeling your weight on top of me, and I can't do that anymore without being afraid. He-He took that from me…I want it back," I say. "Just…just don't hold my wrists, like you're holding me down."

He nods and I know he heard the fear in my voice when I heard that last part. "And if you do get afraid, forget where you are and that it's me with you, what do you want me to do?"

I swallow, knowing he's asking me because I have had flashbacks before, ones that we dealt with, sometimes smoothly, sometimes not so much. "Just talk to me, remind me where I am, that it's you who is with me. If you have to, if you can't get through to me, stop touching any part of me and back off until I calm down."

He nods slowly, taking this all in. I can tell he isn't entirely happy about the last part for his instinct is to always comfort me through touch, but that could just make things worse, and he knows that.

I see that he doesn't quite know how to start so I sit up and capture his lips in a kiss. I let go of one of his hands and slide it up his chest and around his shoulder, pulling him toward me. I can feel the heat radiating from him and smile when he starts to take control of the kiss. So far I'm not scared at all, his touch is gentle, not hurtful, but I am nervous. I'm always a little nervous when we get intimate, but now I'm more anxious about getting scared. I don't want to be scared of him, not him, not ever.

I lean back, dragging him with me. His hands move down my thighs to my lower back. One slides up to the back of my neck, gently lying me down. I break the kiss and tell him, "Touch me, just my top half."

His hands immediately start moving all over, down my neck, between the valley of my breasts, my hips, then back up to my breasts as he kisses me, hard and yet lovingly all at the same time, like he's trying to convince me just how much he really does want me.

His mouth then leaves mine and instead envelops one of my nipples. One of his hands kneads my other breast while the other lightly scratches at my scalp, pulling a little on my hair. The feelings of pleasure overwhelm me and I can feel my body heating up and I start to get wet.

His hands then trail down my chest and stomach, the light touch he uses tickling and arousing. The touch is barely there, but my body is hyperaware now of every sensation. His hands grip my hips, stopping before moving back up and I feel nothing but relief, love, and trust at how he heard and obeyed my request to not touch me below my waist. Some of my anxiousness starts to fade; I'm in control here, nothing like with what happened with my father is going to happen. Daniel wouldn't ever do that to me, he would never do something I ask him not to, or keep doing something when he knows it hurts me.

There's a light sheen of sweat on my skin now, which mixes with his saliva as he licks and nips at my breasts. My back arches when the rough texture of his tongue rolls over one of my nipples. My body is on fire, especially the part that is below my waist, the one place I forbade him to touch, but now want him to touch more than anything else.

"Daniel, you-you can go lower," I say, starting to find it hard to think. "Please go lower."

He looks up at me, judging by my voice and face that I'm telling him this because it's what I want. But he still doesn't move, he just looks at me, hesitation clear.

"How exactly do you want me to touch you?" he asks and I blush a little when I realize he needs to hear me say it. But I understand why he needs to hear it; he needs to make sure whatever he does is okay with me.

My blush turns full scarlet as I tell him exactly what he's allowed to do. "I want you to use your hands, and your mouth if you want."

He nods before grinning and starting to tickle my sides. Laughter bubbles from me and I squirm, trying to get away from his hands that are tickling my stomach. He's laughing too and I push at his hands.

"Daniel, stop it!" I say still laughing.

He does and a few more giggles escape as we smile at each other. I then gasp my back lifting off the bed a little when he fingers press down unexpectedly on my pearl through my underwear. My hands latch onto his shoulders and my surprise turns into pleasure. I moan; my eyes sliding closed. He massages the small buddle of nerves between his thumb and forefinger, softly rubbing before pushing down on it. I cry out, my body tensing before relaxing as another wave of pleasure runs through me. Then it's gone as he uses both hands to pull my underwear down and off completely, throwing them to the side. His thumb returns to where it was and keeps rubbing my pearl as his other fingers go lower. They trail around my entrance, never touching it but exploring the skin near it. He just runs his fingers all over the area before they all trail back up. Two part my folds and rub at my entrance and I freeze, my grip on his tightening.

The situation is just too familiar. He may not be sitting on my legs, but he is over me- towering over me.

"Lils?"

His heat is radiating onto me- just like _his_ did when he lusted after his own daughter's body.

"Lilly."

My eyes squeeze shut. I can't be here, I can't be. I escaped, I-I ran to Daniel, he can't be here.

"Lilly, it's just me, it's Daniel. You're not there, you're in our room, it's me over you, it's me touching you," Daniel's voice calls, and I can feel a gentle touch on my face. My father doesn't do gentle.

My eyes blink open and see Daniel's concerned face hovering over me. My body relaxes in relief, my hands shaking slightly as I release my death grip on him and the blood rushes back to my fingers.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to, I promise," he says sincerely.

I take a few deep breathes and he keeps stroking my cheek with his thumb. I lean into the comforting touch.

"You back with me darlin'?" he asks and I nod. "You want me to stop?"

I shake my head. "No, just give me a minute."

He just starts kissing me again, on my forehead, my nose, my lips, my neck, and my chest as his hands run all over me. The residual tension leaves me and my body goes limp as he builds up my pleasure again. He completely avoids my lower half, which calms me down in of itself- like he said, I'm in control here. I told him not to stop but give me a minute, and he didn't stop, but refrains from touching the place he knows I'm not ready for him to touch again.

A minute later, a heat engulfs me as I gasp and moan as he plays with my breasts and my hair. A vulnerability suddenly washes over me; there's no fear, it's not because of what my father did to me, it's just how caring Daniel is treating me, how patient he is, and I realize this is nothing like what happened with my father. This is everything that didn't happen. Daniel may be over me, but he not trying to pin me down, instead it's almost like he's covering my body with his own, like to protect me or shield me from anything that can hurt me. His hands are gentle, and kind. They move for one purpose- not to hurt but to heal, to show me that I'm worthy of being touched, and being touched not with cruelty but compassion.

"Daniel," I whimper, feeling more exposed than ever before to him.

He looks up at me, sensing the change in me, eyes full of adoration. "It's alright darlin'. I got you."

He slides his arms under my back and lifts me up slightly. My chest is pressed firmly against his and he wraps his arms around me, holding me close. My hands hug his shoulders, burrowing my face into his neck. I cling to him and he sits back, pulling me up with him. He pulls me into his lap, refusing to let even an inch of space between us. Something warm slips down my cheeks and I find I'm crying. He runs his fingers through my hair, shushing me.

"You're okay sweetheart, I'm here, I got you," he whispers.

My tears come silently, no sobs although my breathing does get ragged. I take one of my hands and move it behind my back, latching onto his that's supporting my lower back. I pull it away from me and guide it between us, down my stomach.

"Please," is all I say in a small voice.

I let go of his hand as he slides it further down by himself, until he touches the place he knows I want him to. He kisses my forehead, keeping his lips there for a few seconds. I feel his fingers tease my pearl before moving to the skin covering my entrance, parting it. One of his fingers rubs up and down at my opening, never going in, and I whimper in anticipation.

He shushes me again and kisses my lips, sinking one finger into me. I shudder as I get a little relief to the burning arousal that's engulfing me. His thumb lightly tweaks my pearl as he pulls his finger halfway out, adding another one. He presses them inside me as far as he can, rubbing at my walls and twisting his fingers. He has gotten rather good at this and scissors his fingers before curling them and pressing down on my pearl. I gasp, tensing, my hands grabbing at his shoulders as a spike of pleasure runs up my body. I shiver, hissing a little when he adds a third finger, feeling a slight burn as he stretches me.

He kisses my hairline before uses his lips to tease mine, before swooping in for a deep kiss that leaves me gasping for breath. The burn is mostly gone after that and he starts moving his fingers faster in and out of me, stroking the top of my inner walls since he knows that's where I'm most sensitive. He plays with my pearl simultaneously, alternating between pressing down hard on it, and lightly brushing against it.

My head hits his shoulder as I pant, my body moving in time with his hand. My nails sink into his shoulders, not deep enough to bleed or really hurt him, but enough to leave half crescents in his skin. His other hand supports my back, his fingers running lightly up and down my spine. It makes me tingle and I sigh, enjoying the different feeling.

My skin is slick with sweat, and so is his. My breath hitches as a new feeling starts to rise. A different kind of heat builds as his fingers move faster in me.

"Come on Lils," he whispers, breathless just from watching me.

"Daniel," I say breathily, clutching his shoulders even tighter if possible. I know what's coming, and so does he by my sudden desperation for him to move faster.

"I got you darlin', come for me," he whispers in my ear before kissing my neck. He sucks on my skin, leaving what I know will be a mark tomorrow.

A new wave of lust runs through me knowing he does this to mark me as his. It adds to my arousal, pushing me over the point of no return.

"Daniel!" I half yell, half whimper. His arm tightens around me, holding me tighter as my orgasm washes over me. I go rigid and cry out, panting with a few tears leaking out of my eyes. My eyes are shut tight and I start to shake. He thumb is rubbing gently against my pearl, causing me to shudder at the overstimulation. He presses him fingers into me as far as he can, stroking my insides at a relaxed pace. My walls are clamping down on his fingers as my whole body trembles. As soon as that stops, leaving me relaxed and warm, he pulls his fingers out of me, making me jolt at the sudden movement.

My eyes snap open in surprise when he pushes me back rather hurriedly. He takes one arm out from under me and pulls at his shorts. He unzips them and pulls out his member, long, thick, and very cleared aroused.

He starts to take care of himself but I reach out and wrap my hand around him. He shudders at the sudden touch, his eyes sliding shut. He puts his arm back down on the bed next to me and starts thrusting into my hand, almost desperately. It doesn't take too long until he's coming too. Short spurts of white liquid coat my hand and stomach, and his chest. He trembles, his arms losing some of their strength to keep himself up and he falls a little onto me; not enough to crush me but enough that I can tell he's quite sated.

He stays like that for a while, his head in my chest. Tiredness flows over me, my entire body relaxed now. He shifts, propping himself up better over me and kisses my lips chastely but lovingly.

He then sits up, taking of his shorts and underwear. He tosses the shorts to the floor and uses his underwear to clean us up before that piece of fabric to ends up on the floor too.

He lays next to me, pulling me onto his chest to the point where I'm lying on him, not the bed. I rest my head on his shoulder, breathing in his scent, and he entwines our fingers of one of our hands, resting them on his chest. His other hand strokes my lower back.

"I love you Lilly," he says, making me smile.

"Love you too Daniel," I say back, raising my head to look up at him. He smiles and leans down to kiss me. It starts off chaste, then gets a little heated.

"It's a good thing it's early," he says. "Because there is no way I am even close to being done with you."

I raise an eyebrow at him but smile and laugh when he rolls us over so he's back on top.

One week later, he proposes to me, and, of course, I say yes.


	17. Chapter 16

It's been six months since I moved into the Jackson house after my father had been arrested, and they've been the best months of my life. I finally feel like I have a real home.

We've been going steady for about two years now, although we've loved each other much longer than that- it just took a little while for us to act on it out of fear of messing our friendship up if it didn't work. But the day Daniel found out about my father's abusive tendencies was the day we first kissed. A year and a half ago, I turned 18 and was legally able to move out from my father's house without his permission. They very day I became 18 I told him I was moving out and will be going to live with Daniel and his family. This enraged him so much he crossed a line that I had never imagined he would even try to. It was a miracle I was able to stop him before he was able to rape me, although it was close. That night the police arrested him and shipped him to New York where he was wanted for the murder of my mother. That was the last I saw of him; I won't have to testify to the court because he plead guilty, and was sentenced to life in prison.

It's the end of the day, and I've been helping Daniel's ma, Ruth, and his sister, Alice, with cleaning out the next house over- it was Daniel's grandmother's but she died a few months ago. Daniel and his father, Jack, have been working out on the farm and as it starts to get dark, they come inside. It's been decided that Daniel and I are to move into this house- if we get married first. Daniel already asked me three months ago, and it was one of the, if not the, happiest moment of my life. We've been waiting until I graduate from high school, Daniel graduated last year being a year older than me. After my last day of school, we're going to the local church. It's going to just be Daniel's family and a few close friends attending, so we don't need a lot of time to organize it, but Ruth did want to do something special.

When Daniel and Jack come inside, Daniel comes to me a gives me a kiss before helping move a few boxes.

"Well, that's the last of it," Ruth says, looking around at our hard work.

"Looks perfect ma," Daniel says and kisses her cheek and his sister's before coming to stand by me again, putting an arm around my shoulders.

"Well, you better go clean up before you have to leave," Ruth says. Daniel and I are going to meet up with a few friends that just came back into town for our wedding.

"Yes ma'am," Daniel says, kissing my cheek and rushing upstairs. Most of our things are here; as we took out grandma's things, we put ours in. One week and a wedding and we'll be able to move the rest of our things in here. Daniel's parents didn't think it appropriate for us to be living in the same house, with just us two before we got married, although we have stayed here alone before. And tonight is going to be one of those nights.

Four hours later, Daniel drives us home after meeting our friends. I'm in the passenger seat, and am leaning my head against the window, drifting off to sleep. When the car stops I open my eyes and sit up, yawning and wiping at my eyes. My door opens and I jump, not realizing Daniel had even gotten out of the car yet. I hear him chuckle and glare lightly at him, but the effect is taken away by how I yawn.

"Come on darlin'," he says and helps me out of the car before bending over and picking me up bridal style. I yelp and see him smile as he carries me up the wooden stairs and to the front door. He puts me down and I steady myself by holding onto his shoulder. He unlocks the door and pulls me inside. I flick on the lights as he closes and locks the door. He comes over to me and I lift my arms over his shoulders, connecting my hands behind his neck. He pushes up to me and puts his hands on the top of my hips.

"One week," I say.

He smiles. "Seven days, and then you'll be mine."

"I'm already yours," I say, leaning forward to press my lips to his. It's chaste, a just barely there brush of our lips. It warms my stomach though, and he leans back an inch. My eyes flutter all over his face, taking in his features. His eyes are a clear blue, sparkling with happiness, and something else I recognize; lust.

I lean up and kiss him, this time not so chastely, and move my lips over his, trying to make the kiss deeper than before. He responds eagerly, not wasting anytime pushing his tongue into my mouth when I part my lips. His hands move to grip my upper arms and he pushes me back against the wall. I almost stumble and separate my hands to grasp his shoulders to keep my balance. My back hits the wall and I lean my head back against it, Daniel pressing forward. He dips the tips of his fingers into my skirt until they find the edge of my shirt I have tucked into it. As he pulls it free and starts to unbutton it, he stops and looks at me intensely.

Instead of giving him an answer to his silent question of whether or not he has permission to continue, I just touch his hands and move them to the next button. He smiles a little and undoes the rest of the buttons on my top, kissing me again passionately. I push forward a little to shrug out of my shirt. He helps push it down my arms and out of the way. It falls down my legs and onto the floor. I then slide my fingers along the hem of his shirt and he lifts it over his head, throwing it to the floor as well.

I can tell my face is red; not from embarrassment, but from want as a heat envelops me. Daniel steps back toward me, pressing his front against mine. I easily let him dominate our scorching kiss and feel my knees start to weaken with its intensity. He snakes a hand around my waist, pulling me into him. I can feel the beginning of his erection, and he walks backward, dragging me with him against his chest.

I kick off my shoes and he follows suit. He then takes my hand and runs up the stairs. I run after him, up the stairs and down the hall to the master bedroom. The door is open and he stops at the doorway, turning back toward me and takes my hand that's in his and putting it on his lower back. He puts a hand on my cheek and I take my other hand and cover his. I turn my face and kiss the inside of his palm as he stares at me with complete love, not lust, but love. He rubs his thumb against my cheekbone and shuffles closer. His face is just a few inches from mine, and getting slowly closer until it's just a few millimeters away.

"I love you Lilly," he breathes out softly.

"I love you too Daniel," I say, my heart nearly aching with just how much love I have for him, and I know he loves me just as much. He closes the remaining distance between us and kisses my lips again. It starts out soft, loving, and then transforms into one filled with passion and heat. We stagger a little into the room and his hands on my back slowly trail down, rubbing circles and patterns on them as they go, until he reaches my skirt. He fiddles with the hem a little, once more pausing to give me a chance to stop him. I really love that he's so considerate, but right now the last thing I want him to do is stop.

Instead of waiting for him to come to the conclusion that I want this, I just push my skirt off myself, stepping out of it when it lands on the floor. He chuckles and puts his hands back on my skin. One of them moves up to the clasp on my bra and a few seconds later he's still fiddling with it. I break our new kiss and giggle into his chest.

"You think after all the times I've gotten this off, I'd be able to do it without looking by now," he mutters, which just makes me laugh harder.

I look up at his expression and he's play glaring at me, so I try to stop laughing and say halfheartedly, "Sorry."

He just raises an eyebrow and I extract myself from his arms, turning around to let him see what he's doing. He undoes the hook at the back and I feel the bra loosen. I raise my arms to get it off the rest of the way, but his hands grab mine and push them back to my side.

I frown, confused, but Daniel just moves closer, putting himself flush up against me. His hands slide around my hips to my lower stomach and one starts to move up. His touch is just barely there and it leaves goose bumps in its wake. He presses a light kiss to my shoulder, and I shiver. He places kisses all up and down my shoulder, then my neck. His hand reaches the underside of my right breast and not knowing what to do with my hands; I just put them flat on my thighs. His hand slips under the cloth of my bra and I shudder as he traces around my breast, then as he kneads it and squeezes lightly. As he does that to my other breast, he sucks on a place on my shoulder, nipping at it. His other hand moves down to my underwear, stopping and dipping his fingers underneath them a few times, teasingly. I'm breathing heavily in anticipation and his hand finally goes all the way under. He twists his fingers in the small amount of hair I have there and I shudder. His hand on my breast moves back down to my stomach, holding me more firmly against him. We've done a few things like this before-never sex, just fingers and mouths-, and he knows how overwhelmed I sometimes can get and he doesn't want me to fall.

He buries his face in my hair and his fingers find my folds, completely bypassing my pearl. I sigh internally, realizing this is because I laughed at him earlier most likely. He usually isn't like this, though he has been rarely.

He uses two fingers to part my folds, rubbing at the entrance there a few times. I'm wet, very much so by now, and he spreads it around a little before dipping one finger into me. It doesn't get far before he pulls it back out. He does this a few times, each time getting a little farther in. Then when he pulls them out, they don't come back, the just trace circles around the very place I want them the most. I groan and the back of my head hits his shoulder. I feel more than hear him laugh quietly to himself before his hand moves. I jolt as his fingers suddenly slide into me. My hands leave my sides and grip onto his arm that's around my stomach. He tightens this arm around me as he moves his fingers inside me. He twists them and spreads them apart, stretching me farther. The heat is overwhelming all over my body and I'm gasping now for breath. His thumb rubs against my pearl and my hips buck into his hand. He moves with me and presses his fingers into me as far as he can, pressing down hard on my pearl, moving his thumb over it hurriedly as his fingers work fast inside me too. A second later I let go of his arm and grab his hand that's down my shorts. I pull it out and spin in his arms, grasping his shoulders and kissing him hard. Controlling what we do in these situations is always a little out of my comfort zone, but he told me he doesn't mind it, even enjoys it a little. So that's what I do; instead of having him control the kiss, I do, and he willingly let's me. My tongue is in his mouth, and I undo his belt. Unlike him, I manage to get it in a few seconds, although my hands are shaking a little with anticipation and lust, and it takes me a little longer than I would like.

I throw his belt on the floor after getting it free and undo the button and zipper of his pants. He takes it from there, stepping away from me to push them down. He kicks them to the side and as soon as he does I'm kissing him and pushing him backward toward the bed. When he hits it, he sits, putting a hand behind him as he does so. I keep standing, my arms around his neck now and I let go of having control, wanting him to lead now. He does, pulling me onto his lap so I'm sitting on his thighs. My arms fold down around his shoulders now with how close we get, my breasts pushing up against his chest. I then realize I still have my bra on and he seems to realize too because he's then pushing the straps down my shoulders. He does it one at a time, slowly, leaving a trail of kisses behind as he does so. After it falls to the floor, he kisses the top of both my breasts, bringing one hand around to my abdomen as he leaves a wet trail up my chest to my neck. He breathes me in, moving my hair to get at the side of my neck. I just hold onto his shoulders, shifting on his lap and feel his hard on pressing into my thigh. My brain then realizes that I've been ignoring him this whole time.

His hand goes under my shorts again, this time finding my ass and pulling me closer as he leans back. I let go of his shoulders, realizing what he's doing, and as he lies down, I put my forearms on the bed. I could probably lay right on him I'm so light, but then it would be much harder to get to the places between us.

After another steamy kiss, I shift a little to get a hand under me. I press against his abs, which are defined from his hours working on the farm. Then my hand goes down to his shorts, shimmying them down enough to get his member free. Once it's free, it straightens up, hitting my stomach. When I wrap my hand around its base, Daniel lets out a quiet moan. If this had been a few years ago, I would've been embarrassed beyond belief at doing this; not so much anymore.

I slowly run my hand up and back down his shaft. It's so warm, and thick. I remember how surprised I was when I first saw it. I slide down his body until my face is level with it. My eyes flick up to Daniel's face and he's watching me, his gaze clouded with love but more so want.

I slide my hand back down his prick and my other hand fiddles with his sac, getting a small groan from him. I then have a quick debate with myself before licking a stripe up his shaft. His back arches and I squeeze on the base of his member until his hips come back down. When they do I find his eyes are closed tightly, his hands fisting the sheets. I then take the head of his erection in my mouth, sucking a little. He tenses, trying not to push into my mouth, but when I take him in a little deeper, he does. I choke and pull back. My hand comes to my mouth as I cough.

He sits up quickly and his hands pull me to him by my shoulders. "I'm sorry darlin'. I didn't mean to."

I look at him and see all the lust from earlier gone, and the only emotion he's showing is pure concern. It makes me smile and I say, "I know, I know. It's alright love. Just wasn't expecting it."

He rubs my back as I let out a few more coughs. When they stop, he kisses me sweetly before whispering, "Well, let me make it up to you."

Before I can really comprehend it, I'm on my back with him over me. He sits back, taking his briefs off all the way and tossing them to the floor. I move up the bed until I'm sitting up a little and he then moves up my body, putting kisses on my skin as he goes until he reaches my mouth. I'm so consumed with the searing kiss that I don't notice him pulling my underwear down until they're at my ankles. I kick them off and his hands move up my legs to the juncture between my thighs. He pauses, nipping at my neck again before his thumbs touch my folds. He sinks one of his thumbs inside and I whimper at the gentle touch.

"Shh, shh, I got you," he whispers in my ear. My hands move from the sheets to his back. Luckily my nails aren't too long, so he won't have any scratches- probably.

He removes his thumb, replacing it with another finger, going deeper into me. His other hand spreads my legs a little, bending my knee up. My eyes are closed but I open them when I no longer feel his kisses or his breath on my neck. He's moved back and is lying on his stomach. One hand is grasping my shin as the other pushes his finger in and out of me. He moves his face up to my core and looks up at me. We've only done this once before, and it was a little…awkward before, but it felt great. I just nod and he leans forward, his tongue darting out to lick at my pearl. I arch my back when he does this. He also adds another finger, pumping them in and out at a relaxed pace.

His hand on my leg goes to my pearl, tweaking it along with his tongue. He pinches there lightly and let out a loud pleasurable sigh, biting my lip. I'm practically shaking by now and as he sucks at my pearl, biting a little and moves his fingers in me faster. It feels like an electric shock runs through me and I gasp for breath. I then realize something, my eyebrows furrowing. I blink at how my sudden conclusion isn't surprising but rather… obvious, like I knew it all along, but it wasn't till now that I truly realized it.

"Wait, Daniel, stop," I say and he does so immediately. He looks up at me with worry as I sit up, scooting down toward him.

"What is it? Did I hurt you?" he asks genuinely alarmed and I almost laugh.

"No, no," I say smiling, "I just…I realized I want to do something else."

He looks at me, his face creasing in confusion.

"I…I, um," I clear my throat, a slight blush coming over me as I try to think about how to put this into words.

"Lilly," he says, rubbing his arms up and down my arms. "What is it darlin'? Just say it, you know I won't judge."

I smile, knowing of course he wouldn't, and take one of his hands. I look down at our hands are our fingers entwine and say, "I… I want…you."

He still looks confused when I look back up at him. "You have me."

"No," I say starting to get frustrated. "Up until now we've only… we've only used our hands and… mouths. I want to… to try the… real thing."

His eyebrows rise in realization, then surprise. "Are-are you sure?"

I nod, smiling now and say, "Perfectly sure."

He leans over and kisses me, making me lean back a little with the force of it. One of his hands rub the back of my neck, the other going to the small of my back, drawing me toward him until I sit forward on my knees over his lap. My hands flutter a little until they settle on his shoulders.

We both break the kiss at the same time, out of breath. He puts his forehead to mine and asks, "How do you want to do this?"

I breathe out nervously before answering. "On my back, I want you over me."

He stares into my eyes before kissing me again, slowly and passionately as he pushes me onto my back. His body is covering mine, his forearms supporting himself so he doesn't crush me. His member presses into my stomach, his pre-cum smearing there on my skin.

I'm nervous- not scared, just nervous. I know that if I tell him to stop or wait, he will. He's deathly afraid of hurting me; he'd rather cut off his own arm than cause me even a few seconds of pain. But we both know it could hurt a little, and I trust him to listen to me if I tell him it hurts too much.

His fingers go back to my core, sliding one finger in easily. A few seconds later he adds another one, kissing at my neck and touching my breasts with his other hand. Adding a third finger creates a slight burn that quickly goes away.

I'm so much hotter than before and am shaking with want and anticipation. One of my hands is gripping the sheets, the other in his hair, running through it as he sucks at my neck. A slight pain stings there as he bites a little harder and I gasp. It turns into a soft moan, the pain just adding to my arousal.

His fingers leave me and my eyes blink open as he shifts over me. He sits up a little, looking downward and the tip of his manhood touches my entrance. He settles back over me, his skin covering mine, and his thumb strokes my cheek.

"You sure?" he asks again, making me smile lovingly at him.

"Completely," I say, my hand running through his hair. "Just go slow."

"I will," he promises and touches out lips together. My eyes slide closed and he takes my bottom lip between his teeth, sucking at it. He moves his hips forward, his member pressing into me. A pressure builds and I ignore it, instead focusing on our kiss. It doesn't hurt so much as it's uncomfortable. He rocks his hips forward just a little and the pressure increases, making me hiss before it gives and he slips inside me.

I tighten my grip on his shoulders; the stretch burns. I inhale sharply and he stills.

"Lilly?" he asks.

"I'm alright; it's just a little uncomfortable. Just…give me a second," I say and he doesn't move, except to kiss my nose, then lips. He puts his arms under mine, lifting my shoulders off the bed a little. I move my arms around his back, one going to his back, the other to his neck.

"Okay," I whisper. Daniel looks at me, straight into my eyes, and presses forward again. The pain increases, the burning coming again and I move under him, grasping his shoulders tighter, and my eyebrows scrunching as I breathe in and out slowly. He stops again, realizing my discomfort.

"Just give me a second," I breathe out. "You're a little…big."

I see him smirk a little before concern overtakes his expression again. He rubs his hand along my side soothingly. "Do you want to stop?"

"No," I say instantly. "Keep going, please."

I want this, badly, and a little pain isn't going to make me change my mind.

Daniel keeps watching my face, looking for any signs of discomfort as he moves forward, slowly filling me inch by inch. It burns and I feel so full when he stops, fully inside me.

I let out a slow breath and he kisses me sweetly as he pulls back out, and then pushes back in. There's still a stretch, but he moves slow and after a few more thrusts, the burn mostly goes away and instead it starts to feel good.

My knees come further up and hug his hips as my grip on his shoulders lessens. I start to gasp and moan in pleasure as he slides in and out of me.

"Daniel," I whisper.

His arms hook under my back and sit me up, dragging me so I'm kneeling over his lap. He moves one hand down to my ass to help me rock with him as he slowly thrusts in and out of me. I hold onto him as he slides in even deeper, the angle changed and he hits a spot that makes me cry out.

I throw my head back when he moves his head down and takes one of my breasts into his mouth. I run my hand through his hair, grasping the strands just to hold onto something.

"Lilly, I'm-" he chokes out.

I'm not close, but I know he's trying to tell me he is. "It's okay, go ahead."

And almost like he needs my permission, he shudders and thrusts one last time into me, burying himself as deep as he can. I shiver as I feel his hot seed shoot into me. His head falls forward onto my shoulder, turning his face to my neck and breathing in deep. I'm also having trouble breathing, my hands moving over his back and shoulders, slick with sweat.

I feel myself start to calm down; I didn't come but I still feel satisfied and exhausted.

"Sorry," he murmurs into my neck.

"For what?" I ask, my eyebrows scrunching true confusion.

"You didn't get to come," he says, picking his head up to look at me.

I rub his neck, using a thumb to trace along his jaw. "I don't care, it was still amazing."

He looks at me a tad taken aback before smiling and pulling me in closer to kiss me. When it ends I shift back to look at him better and he slips out of me a little, making me take a sharp inhale of air. I'm still pretty sensitive after being brought to such a high state of arousal and he grins at me.

I look at him wearily, wondering what devious thing he's thinking of now before he pushes me back against the bed with a laugh.

"Daniel! What are you-" I don't get to finish my question as he pulls himself out of me. I gasp, my back arching, and he puts one arm under me flat.

"You know me darlin', I don't like to come if you don't," he says before drawing patterns on my abdomen as he slowly, teasingly drags his hand downward. I shiver when his fingers reach the hair above the place I really want him and sigh when they do finally reach that place.

His seed is leaking out of me, and when it hits the air it cools down on my hot skin. I almost yell out, arching off of the bed when three of Daniel's fingers push right into me, his come letting them slide in easily. In less than a second his fingers are knuckle deep into me. I bite my hand to keep my moans in as his sets a fast pace, his hand moving so quick it leaves me writhing on the sheets. But then I feel his arm under me leave and he's pulling my hand away from my mouth.

"I want to hear you," he says and I shudder as another wave of lust fills me at the roughness to his voice. His eyes are watching my every move, and I can tell he's getting aroused again just by watching me. It fills me with a sort of pride knowing I am doing that to him. But my eyes leave his face as they roll back when he curls his fingers in me and press them upward. My hips move up with his hand and he pushes them back down. He holds them down when they try to buck up again when his tongue runs over my pearl. The rough texture of it plays on the used nerves there and I'm a little shocked when a large orgasm sweeps over me.

I yell out his name, "Daniel! Oh god!"

I'm left panting and twisting in the bed as the pleasure completely overwhelms me, leaving my body not knowing what to do with the overpowering sensations. My eyes are squeezed shut as his fingers continue to relentlessly pump in me. My muscles contract and release; shocks run up and down my spine.

His fingers suddenly leave me and I feel his comforting weight settle over me. His hand hooks under my right knee and drags it up to my chest. I open my eyes to see what he's doing when something- I know it's not his fingers- positions itself at my entrance.

I only have half a second to realize what it is before his member thrusts all the way into me in one fast movement. My hands claw at his back, my body once again not knowing exactly how to cope with the overstimulation.

"Daniel," I whimper.

"I got you darlin'," he murmurs back, thrusting into me hard and fast. We've never done anything quite like this before- quick and a little rough I mean. I have to admit I like it.

I tilt my head back as his lips suck at my neck, his teeth running lightly over my skin. It isn't long before he's making me come again. This time I swear I black out from the force of it. My vision goes dark and I can't feel anything but him inside me and his lips and hands roaming over me. I think I shout something, probably his name, but I can't really hear myself when I say it.

He keeps thrusting all the way through my orgasm until he himself comes again. He stutters to a halt before pushing all the way into me as hot bursts of his seed fill me back up again. I sigh as I come down from my high and at the feeling of his liquid filling me as it coats my inner walls. It leaves me with a satisfied feeling, and one of complete and utter exhaustion.

He let's go of my leg and it relaxes back on the sheets, my body not having the strength to do anything else but sink into the bed. Daniel hasn't moved from over me, but I know he's just as spent as I am. He kisses the valley between my breasts, like I'm made of glass, before kissing him way up to my lips. After a slow and utterly sweet kiss, he shifts to sit up, but I pull him back down.

"Don't," I say, "Not yet."

He smiles and settles back over me, placing his head in the space between my shoulder and my neck. One hand is at my waist and he comfortingly traces circles on my hip. He kisses my neck again, his tongue running over the mark he left earlier. I smile at the show of possessiveness. Some wouldn't, but I love being known as his.

His other arm snakes around my back, hugging me as close as he can to his own body, and a feeling of safety and love envelops me. I sigh in contentment, my own arms wrapping around his body.

"Go to sleep," he says, kissing my neck one last time before he himself closes his eyes.

I'm out in less than a minute.


End file.
